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I think the way for you to get to the place where you're going to feel emotionally able to leave is to get out, meet people, do things that make you feel independent and supported outside of this guy. Even gathering the information about your area and local resources I'd bet will be a baby step that can move you forward. Read the local newspapers, grab a telephone book, use the internet. Find your local chamber of commerce/city hall, many times they have compiled lists of local resources and information that they mail or email for free.
Remember, people hide in the dark when they know they're doing something wrong. I'd bet if his family, his son, neighbors, co-workers, ex wife, etc., knew how he was treating you, there would be major criticism. I do wonder that some of them aren't more curious about it, but maybe they have a lot their dealing with in their own lives, and in domestic situations it can be very tricky for an outsider to step in.
I'm sure gazillions of women can relate to what you're going through, Michelle. Give yourself major points for speaking out and getting help, that's tough to do. You have a strong will to make a better life for yourself, you've lost an incredible amount of weight, you've stopped smoking. Now listen to what I say, you are not alone, your dad and husband and other loved ones are standing next to you now and want to help give you the strength to move forward. They want you to have the life you deserve too. Hang in there, take a deep breath, and just start doing.
Originally Posted by dragonwoman64
honestly, it shook me up to read he threatened to take you back to TN. He may love you, but he isn't loving you in a healthy way at all. I agree that it's emotional abuse (he may be scared of losing you and that's the only way he knows of behaving). And I completely agree with all of Pita's suggestions! great advice.I think the way for you to get to the place where you're going to feel emotionally able to leave is to get out, meet people, do things that make you feel independent and supported outside of this guy. Even gathering the information about your area and local resources I'd bet will be a baby step that can move you forward. Read the local newspapers, grab a telephone book, use the internet. Find your local chamber of commerce/city hall, many times they have compiled lists of local resources and information that they mail or email for free.
Remember, people hide in the dark when they know they're doing something wrong. I'd bet if his family, his son, neighbors, co-workers, ex wife, etc., knew how he was treating you, there would be major criticism. I do wonder that some of them aren't more curious about it, but maybe they have a lot their dealing with in their own lives, and in domestic situations it can be very tricky for an outsider to step in.
I'm sure gazillions of women can relate to what you're going through, Michelle. Give yourself major points for speaking out and getting help, that's tough to do. You have a strong will to make a better life for yourself, you've lost an incredible amount of weight, you've stopped smoking. Now listen to what I say, you are not alone, your dad and husband and other loved ones are standing next to you now and want to help give you the strength to move forward. They want you to have the life you deserve too. Hang in there, take a deep breath, and just start doing.
