Good morning all. It's Saturday morning, getting late, must get out to work. Just realized I'd left the clothes in the washing machine overnight and it never turned off because the machine is old. So now I'm washing them again.

I'd had another binge (sugar) the other day. Don't know why I was doing it. Just kinding of doing it for doing its sake. Yesterday though, I was back on track, and despite an extremely stressful day that had me going outside the office just to cool off (in the heat!) I did NOT turn to food!! HURRAH!! HURRAH!! This is a major thing for me. Now to just do this more often. And you know, I realize I do it more nowadays when something GOOD happens. Is that bizarre or what? Has my life become so pathetic that when something actually good happens I'm so anxious and 'aflutter inside that I eat to calm down? Yes, I think it does. In fact, it probably always worked that way but I didn't realize it because I was eating ALL the time. Very intersting here. Anyone else do the same?

Chachee -- You did it woman! You showed what you've been doing and yes, yes, there was bound to be jealousy, or at least something that didn't allow your mother to just be wildly happy for the new you! But I am SO, SO glad to hear that you are handling the disappointment and seeing it for what it is. Yes, hold yourself up as that model. Change is scary. I said this before, remember? I think you were prepared for it but it was still surely a letdown a bit. Yes, we probably all here ARE more happy for you because our relationship with you is not based on the old dynamics, and remember, it's part of those dynamics that got you overweight to begin with. Sometimes you just have to look to what you want from others not the people you were hoping to get it from. Some people just can't give you what you want them to give you. But you can't go knocking your head against the wall until you get it. Move on. I think you do this. I'm just saying it for others (and a reminder to myself!)

jolly -- how are you feeling? still tired? i know how this feels with wanting to eat. Try to sleep, lie down when you can. Don't eat. Stay away from sugar and processed foods, white flour. It really saps your strength after an intial boost. But you probably know this.

But major kudos to you for not going hog wild! (no pun intended but you gotta admit, it fits and I'm talking about myself here too! so don't be offended!)

Are you really "unattractive?" Who says so? Why do you say that?!?! It's not a matter of accepting yourself. It's a matter of revealing yourself. Reveal the you, the best you you can imagine. When you run up against a moron just remember, he's the moron, not you! And stop thinking that there is something ugly about being fat. It's a matter of how you look at things. I want to lose weight but I don't think I'm ugly. I just want a different look. And I've stopped trying to fix other people's ideas about what's ugly and what isn't and stopped trying to buy into the look that THEY want.

There was a girl in our office and she was big, really quite big and the amazing thing to me (earlier) was that she wore clothes (or didn't wear clothes is more like it) that left nothing to the imagination. At first I was appalled and then I started changing the way I looked at her and I realized that there was nothing ugly about the rolls and folds of fat. They were kind of interesting. I mean, maybe I'm more used to this because I can watch sumo wrestlers on TV at any time but it was her doing this, her showing it all and seemingly being very happy with herself that maybe worked to change my way of seeing it, her large amounts of skin!, HER. I too was stopping at the external picture.

jolly, you really sound like you're getting your act together and what an act it is! When and where will you be premiering? I'm going to be the first one in line!

Liked the Beautiful Mind analogy. Yes, maybe that's the way it'll be, at least until you've really changed. Then again, isn't this with everything? We have imaginations, we contain the possiblities for anything. As Whitman said (I think it was Whitman) "we contain multitudes." We can choose which ways to think at any time. Along with the demons out there there are also the angel. Ignore the demons, SEE the angels. You've been ignoring them. Look and see what you want, what further you. Constantly. Train your mind to do this.

By the way, I know it gets quiet around here on the weekend. If you want to chat pm me. That gets my attention, whereas the posts don't always because I don't know who it is, who all else has posted.

Raven -- Thanks for popping in. I hope you find some time to fill us in on what's been going on in your life and what you've got planned. Take care and power to you!

Gotta run. Where is everyone else?! Heh, come on in here and talk to us. Happy, hippy, sassy, lucky, have you fallen off the planet?!?! Derry, hope you're enjoying your vacation and will get back to us soon.

Ciao!

Hey all. I have to report a NSV. I have just been having a bad week. I am tired. Crabby. And very, very emotional. I don't know why. NOthing much going on - good or bad. I just am. I would blame hormones, but don't think I can right now. So anyway, I left work early so I could take my crabbiness elsewhere. I decided to not take my mood out on the horse, so was sitting home. Decided, darn it, since I couldn't shake the mood, I was going to wallow. I grabbed my purse, and was heading to the store to get chips/dip/ice cream/ anything/everything, when I stopped to grab my mail. Top in the mail was the newsletter from my gym. Front page was an article from one of the personal trainers, about how he trained for a 50 mile ultramarathon not for money, fame, charity, but to prove that if you wanted something badly enough you could accomplish it.

I got some watermelon and made some fresh salsa.

Have a great day all.

Have

Excellent going, Jolly!! I am really proud of you. Am at work now. Can't really write but just wanted to congratulate you on that most excellent save!! And the horse gods are looking down on you with great respect as well!

You've got so many NSVs lately I'm starting to get jealous. Make me jealous. I love it.

Ciao bella!

Just a quick fly by ladies,
Congrats Jolly on all the saves lately - it sounds like you are winning the wrestle in your head between I want and I should. And that's a really important victory.

Chachee, enjoy your visit with your mom. I'm sorry she was not more encouranging over your loss thus far. Losing 40 pounds is a tremendous effort and any of us know so well. Some people are just not the encouraging kind That's ok, we love you Would love to see you all decked out for your night out. Both you and the DH sounded like you made a stunning couple.

Why do people dress the way that they do? Not sure. I know one of the saddest things is someone who does not dress age appropriate - if you're 40 - even if you have a great body - don't dress like a 20 year old chasing your lost youth. And the line between looking hot and looking trashy is hair thin. I don't agree with - I can dress however I want - well I guess you can but also accept that we will invoke our right to talk about you. I have always admired people who have that quiet elegance about them whether they are dressed for a picnic in jeans and a simple white T-shirt or dressed in formal wear for a dance.

Interesting conversations you have had here this week.

Red, to your comment about celebrating the good with eating. I think because you put a heavy focus on how you look, thinking about food is on the mind more than you'd like. Everything is associated with food. I'm not sure how to explain it but I feel the same way which is why I was just trying to kick it into a corner and forget about it for a while. Instead of waking up and eating breakfast as a natural part of the early morning routine, I avoided it, procrastinated, thought about it every 10 minutes, did nothing, got in a tizzy because the longer I put it off the more guilt set in about not eating, I'm hungry and it's getting closer to lunch so I probably shouldn't eat anyway yadda yadda yadda. And I've wrecked kickstarting my metabolism in a good way for the morning and thought about food for 3 hours instead of 20 minutes. Not to mention sometimes getting so hungry that I grab any old (often) wrong thing just to quell the hunger. As for the treats, that's a catch 22 also. Eat something off plan will trigger more and more and more. I used to use Friday night's meal as my treat meal of the week but found that the treat ran into Saturday and Sunday and I was blowing a week's good efforts with constantly ruined weekends.

I keep walking around humming an old Barry Manilow song - Trying to get the feeling again - I had the urge, the motivation to ignore all the rocks in my path and make steady progress to my goals and I'm "trying to get that feeling again". It's a constant sense of conflict within myself that is so frustrating. I want to eat good but don't necessarily want to eat what is good for me yet when I do make a meal of grilled fish and vegetables and fruit, I didn't want it at first but after I ate it it was very good and I feel good that I ate something healthy for me. On the other hand if I eat spaghetti like last night, sure I ate what I wanted and spend the evening in a carb coma with acid reflux from the tomato sauce. So... why do I consistently chose spaghetti over grilled fish? Last weekend hubby and I bought bikes. I rode most every day this week and I noticed a difference in how I feel - less achy, more flexible and the only thing I have to conquer is being confortable on the bike seat for longer periods of time. Which will come as I ride more. Yet I say, go for a bike ride and the other part of me is no, go relax for a bit - you've worked hard all day. No matter what I do, there's a polar opposite part of me that says the exact other thing. Too many voices sometimes which is why I just stepped away from it all until it will settle down. And then I also feel lazy and berate myself for not having more get up and go and organization and making the most of every moment. Gee whiz. In these times I remember what Jolly said about us being harder on ourselves than we would ever be with each other and it puts things back into perspective.

So that's my ramble for the weekend. I will spend today getting chores done, might go with the hubby into the city tomorrow to go to the parks and butterfly gardens for a walk and some pictures. And I do want to ride my bike today and tomorrow. It's just about August and we are finally getting summer weather. Should be a steamy near 90 this weekend which means after 30 minutes I will wither out and run for the air conditioning

Derry hope you have a good vacation, Raven I'm sure you're busy with the horses. Hippy, Sassy, Lucky hellos to all of you. Have a great weekend.

Good morning all. Happy, great to see you back! Can't write now. Must leave soon. It's already Aug. 1 first here. Happy August. My birthday month. (I get a whole month, right?! ) I'll wait for Raven? to start up the new thread.

Catch you all later.

Hi guys! I'm back! Haven't had time to read the multitude of posts from everyone, but it's nice to be here again, though I would just have loved to have remained on "vacation mode" a few more days, at least.
No weigh in, officially, on my dare yet to report. I had indicated that it would be Monday morning's weight. I think I survived the week without a gain, though, but can't be totally sure until I weigh in at ww this Tuesday. But, I did some form of exercise every day on vacation. I tried to be careful with ordering food in places, but I blew it on more than one occasion - but hey I was on vacation after all!
The worst of the week was a "make our own sundae buffet" with REAL ice cream on Friday night.... that was AFTER prime rib, a beer, salad with REAL Blue Cheese dressing, etc. for dinner. I only felt "guilty" for a minute, and totally enjoyed this "trip down memory road" as I liked to refer to it in my head. Now, it's back to frozen yogurt, 3 point breakfasts as well as ww frozen entrees for lunches and carefully planned dinners. What a thrill? Hmmmm.....
At any rate, I really think I did well by walking and using our paddle boat for at least 40 minutes a day, and doing a bit of swimming at well. By not eating out for breakfast and lunch and being a bit more careful (but not denying myself completely either) I may have kept from having a HUGE gain.
But, we did go to an old country store and I indulged in "penny candy" and chose a few of my favorite treats and when we went to an theater company production even had a candy bar at intermission.
I may need some serious "reprogramming" in the next few days...... but vacations are wonderful!
Linda

The new August thread is up. Here's the link. Come on over!

http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/showthread.php?t=44299