I got my hair cut. I have NEVER in my life felt so excited about a hair cut!! I look HOT!! I've never felt that way either. It was such a cool transformation that people were standing there watching! I asked the girl if that made her nervous and she said it did But she did and incredible job and I will not go to anyone else. The best part - I found her by accident at a Walmart hair salon, so this cut with styling and a lesson on how to part my hair - I'm such a goof when it comes to styling hair - only cost me $12.00. Can you believe that????? I feel like I look younger and happier and I strut my stuff when I walk. Best hair cut in the world
I'm really excited about it and I can't wait for BF to get home and see it. It's very short and razor cut into layers that flip out. Messy as heck and a brown meg ryan style. I LOVE it!
okay I'm going to stop gushing and go tackle the briars in my yard now. I'm double layered in clothing and ready to go at it!
I'll check on you guys later. CG - don't burn yourself out this weekend but please, do pay the bills
Hi guys, good morning. Sunday here. I don't think I am going to weigh myself. No, I guess I will. It's my fault for not having it all together this past week. Yesterday was really, really bad and another reason why I shouldn't go out drinking for a while. I was stuffing food in my face, really a kind of sugar binge. I was so tired, just wanted to sleep and yet we were real busy at work and two people had called in sick so it was really just me and another guy helping out a bit. Of course the aggravation with that situation and the hangover and lack of sleep on top of that and the fact that I have tons of other work hanging over me when I get home or for whenever just makes me want to cry. I could not be strong. It really pisses me off, now too, to know that everything I did was avoidable and the only one hurt was me. I am going to try to find a way to be nice to everyone but especially to me. And that involves discipline on my part, because what others want me to do is not nice for me! Really, so much of the time, I feel others are truly entertained by my suffering. Honestly, they seem to enjoy seeing me lose it, squirm, whatever. I guess this would so as they so often are jealous of what they think my life is like. I wish I had people in my life who are disciplined but always know how to have fun. Ok, shut me up, someone.
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Grasshopper -- Gush on!! It's nice to hear people gushing. Gives us hope. That is so great with your new haircut. So great you love it and wow, excellent that you were able to find someone good at a cheap place. If that girl has any guts she'll find herself a better place to work. Sounds like you found yourself some talent. Oh, a good haircut. I know just how it feels to actually like a new look. I'm really happy for you.
I really wouldn't worry about your weight. Maybe it's just your look you didn't like at the moment. For every "bad" picture you can find a "good" one. Which is the real one? Probably both. Take more pictures if it bothers you. And remember pictures don't capture the real aura and that is probably the most important thing. There are certain types of people whose energy is everything about them, others who don't have that energy. The former tend to look so unlike themselves in pictures, the latter look like themselves. I guess that's what being photogenic is about. There is no way that you at 137 lbs and 5 ft. 9 is a blimp so I really don't want to hear it. Makes all us with lots of real fat to lose feel really bad.
Crime girl -- thank you so much for the horoscope. Waking up to one on Sunday is rare and I really needed it today. I think you have helped to salvage my day! and I like it too. I need to remind myself of the importance of taking baby steps and of the value of them as well. Strength and determination is what I am low on now more than ever so I really need to try to get some.
Thank you for saying you should hang out with me. We would probably be great together. You sound like a lot of fun and yet someone who is very serious and sensitive so I know there's something more there. So often I get so bored and then annoyed because I can't find the mix in the people around me. I don't think it's that others don't possess these traits. I think they ignore large parts of themselves because they don't get good reviews. We should all be a bit "madder." We should all care less about what others think and more about expressing ourselves. I am saddened to think that people think me strange or crazy when I look at them and wonder why they aren't living their lives, why they are living someone else's, the perceived lives of people on television, the lives of people others want them to be. I must say, however, that even these "wasted" nights out do have their gems in them. Often I find things out about people that I would have never found out hadn't I seen them in these different situations. Circumstances reveal the man. How true. The office can only reveal so much. Sadly, things that aren't so pretty are also revealed but I should be glad for that as well. They allow me to stop daydreaming about someone. The cold, cruel reality is better in the long run. It allows us to move on. On the flipside, the diamonds under the rough exteriors that are revealed are indeed precious and I will try to focus on them more. I have yet to find someone who has the eating and exercise thing down who has the life thing down too and I for one would much rather hang with the people who have life down than the other. The eating and exercise is naturally linked to how you deal with others and yourself but it doesnt mean the thinner person or the one who exercises more has it right. It all depends on how it's done. And at a certain point it becomes merely cosmetic, superficial and those moments may be even when the person is very overweight. I guess what I'm trying to say is that we can have everything "righter" than right, moments of pure gold, but those moments won't necessarily be visible because you need more of them in order to see changes on the outside and that outside is not just our appearance but also our lives. Anyhow, looking over what you wrote again, I guess, yes, the drinking is hindering my weight loss, but I suppose that the socializing, the putting myself out there with an assorted mix of people is furthering my life, my development as a person so I should see it as a good thing. Now, how's that for a soapbox!
I'm glad to hear the bean-throwing thing helped your office environment. But, it seems a shame that everyone got talking about how "weird" you are when it's actually them that sounds weird to not be talking, to not have cohesion, to have this tension in the office and not be doing something about it, right?! You, the "weird" one, are the one doing something to better things. Yes, perhaps it is weird, but only in the sense that it is not normal, not the norm. Leaders never are.
Stormy, NBK, come out and play! KJK, michi, you too.
Jacque, how are you? Come and talk to us. I know this is a very sad time for you but you don't have to think about losing weight now if that's too much for you. But, you can still just come and chat with us. Anyone I missed? Any newbies, jump aboard! We're not a sewnup bunch. You'll only be the new gal for a couple of posts. Come in and join the fun.
Last edited by redballoon; 02-05-2005 at 05:01 PM.
Red-
I don't worry about those people that think I am weird- different- strange-
I revel in the fact that I am unique and can create special and precious things in my life that I don't feel I need to explain. I just think it is funny when someone questions my motives for things...
Here is a poem I love and identify with:
When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other people's gardens
And learn to spit.
You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.
But for now we must have clothes to keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.
But maybe I ought to practice a little now? ...
So people who know me are not to shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple!
Hope you enjoy it- you may have read it before..
Have a wonderful day!!
Crime girl - I use to clerk federal court and our main boss had her 50th birthday party. She loved that poem so we went to the good will store and bought her a spandex purple dress with a shiny, big silver belt! It was all gag of course but the joke was on us because the very next day she came to work sporting her "new look." It was the funniest thing I'd ever seen. She was STRUTTING her stuff!!! In front of judges and all!!! She had pictures taken and a great laugh and then changed clothes for meetings and such but said it was exactly what she'd hoped her 50th birthday would be like. WHO KNEW???
Red - thanks for the good words. I've lost about 25 pounds now and I'm down to the stubborn last few. I'm going to have to work REALLY hard for them and I don't like that idea. I KNOW - quit whining. I'll try!!! I forget that I fought hard to get here too I can do it and so can you!!
I told my mom, who has short hair too, about my hair cut and she went into a mini shock. She will see it tomorrow - she's bringing me a huge comfy chair she doesn't want anymore I had to fight her best friend for it - daughter's rights and all just kidding! Anyway, we are meeting half way tomorrow and she is also bringing me my brother's juicer. I am going to start juicing my breakfast - spinach and veggies with pear juice. I'll get more veggies that way I'm excited about it. Man I'm one sick puppy - excited to be eating liquid spinach! What happened to me???????
I'm half way through a nice mixed drink - does that redeem me any?? I'm finishing the other half quickly and off for some QT with the BF Good night!!
Hi guys, I have been awful today again but I am getting so sick of myself that I sense a change in the air! also, I am trying NOT to go on an allout, "the diet starts tomorrow" binge just because I start eating junk.
I WILL NOT despair. I will win this battle with the fat, this lifelong battle that is just me wanting to indulge myself over and over again.
My weight was up as expected today too. A whole kilogram, which is 2.2 lbs. I don't deserve to lose. This was wholly the direct result of my own doing and I hold myself totally responsible.
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Crime girl -- I felt horrible riding today because I was in the arena with the mirrors and I could see the thunder thighs and hippo butt and it was just too depressing! Did that stop me from eating sugary junk later? Of course not. I say it pushed me in that direction, the one that says, have a cookie and make the pain go away. Damn!
But, I am going to get this right! I am, I am!!
I was hoping to see the horoscope coming true and don't know if it was. I sense also a glimmer of improvement in my riding and the teacher seemed to think she saw something too but I don't know if I can do what I was doing to get that nod from her. It was too painful!
But your horoscopes always make me look for them to happen. That's why the real negative ones are scary. But too positive and I start expecting too big of things and that then depresses me when I don't get it. I am a flake!
CG, I loved your poem. Summer gloves, satin sandals and sausage just ain't me but I did like it. It was cute and I'd never heard it before. You know, I never thought you were bothered by being thought crazy. In fact, I always had the feel you enjoyed it and that's why you went out of your way to perpetrate the image. I am more worried about the people saying that, not that they say it but that they just don't get it, the fact that not doing "crazy" things is truly dangerous to themselves and eventually others.
And Crime girl, you'll make a poetry lover of me yet! (Actually it's probably destined as my mother was forever quoting Shakespeare) I found, thanks to your bean-throwing words, this bit of Jonson that we should all remember to get this task of weight loss and whatever other dreams we harbor . . . DONE!!
Time will not be ours forever;
He at length our good will sever.
Spend not then his gifts in vain.
Suns that set may rise again;
But if once we lose this light,
'Tis with us perpetual night.
Why should we defer our joys?
grasshopper -- I used to make veggie juice all the time too. It made me feel so healthy and I am positive my skin glowed. I guess it would, wouldn't it. I have to think of this more as it will help with my vanity to keep in mind how pasty skin looks of someone who's been eating tons of sugar as opposed to someone's who's eating super healthy.
grass, i didn't realize you had lost 25 pounds. That is really something. And I'm sure they were a fight to get off. God, this is so hard. But, I guess it would be right. Our bodies are designed to hold onto fat no matter what. I guess I will just have to put myself through some real discomfort, mostly mental. I mean, hunger pangs is not a real pain or anything. It's all the mental discomfort I think for me. Damn. I am so pissed off with myself. But grass, your words of encouragement are much appreciated! Keep them coming, please!
So, did your mom see your hair yet? I hope she likes it. Ahh, huge comfy chairs, I want one! Glad you got it. To think she would have given it to a friend over her daughter! No, no, can't have that, can we? So, what is your mixed drink of choice? I'm assuming this was a broccoli asparagus carrot blend or something along those lines, no?
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Ok, back to the proofreading. Where is everyone else? Come on guys, I know you have lives and all but think of me, who doesn't!!
Last edited by redballoon; 02-06-2005 at 03:43 PM.
Red - please love yourself! I know it's not that easy....but you're so disgusted with yourself...if you felt this way about a dog's behavior...would you do nice things for that dog?? (man, maybe - you probably love dogs more me too !! ) Anyway, what I'm saying is that you are an incredible person and it has nothing to do with what you eat or drink. Those things are not sins, crimes, or bad things. It's just food!!! Eat all of it you want - that's not horrible. Until you learn to see the real you and love that person, how will you love yourself enough to WANT to take care of yourself??? I hope this doesn't sound harsh. I'm hungover and I'm blunt. Sorry! I mean it filled with love and hope, I swear!!! This is my biggest battle - to realize no matter what I ate yesterday I'm still the same person and I deserve the same treatment from BF - if he treated me like **** just because I pigged out I'd leave him....and yet I treat myself that way????!! Doesn't work! The more you love yourself and stop to listen to yourself and trust yourself, the easier this will be. You're right - it has been painful but not physically painful. Emotionally. giving up habbits that I thought made me happy and finding new ones....learning not to look at myself with such critical eyes....I am battling all of that. And most of all, learning to listen to my body. It knows what I need most and I shut it out most of the time. I'm battling all of this but the hardest is to learn to love ME unconditionally....the kind of love I expect from my BF I should ATLEAST give myself. You deserve to be loved 24/7 unconditionally!!! Now get to it
Mom has not seen the hair yet. She will soon. We are meeting for lunch.
Then we're going to a Chili cookoff/super bowl party. Looking forward to it
Okay, weight today is 135. I really don't like the scale. Getting on it seems to control my emotion for the day! I am not getting on it until next Sunday!
Hi everyone! It is a beautiful day in Florida today- a wonderful 63 degrees!
I am moving the board to a new thread after this post but I wanted to respond to some posts first.
Red- You control your life- not a horoscope or the food you eat or don't eat. I have never physically met you and I know you have some wonderful traits- kindness, sweetness of spirit, supportive, caring except when dealing with yourself. There is no need for anyone to beat you up because you do it to yourself. We all will stray as we try to eat healthy. You are no exception and that is OK. I am with grass that what you eat does not define you. I think maybe it is a feeling of loss of control and not reaching your self prescribed goals that get to you. Be kind to yourself. You will get where you want to go with effort, patience, and time. In the meantime- love thyself.
Red's horoscope-
You are a creature of habit and comfort. Break out of your shell today and experience the unpredictability of life. Today will be a day of change and a loosening of self restraints. Be wary of the voice in yourself that will try to hold back your progress.
Little- I am jealous of your juicer- I have juicer envy. I want one so bad but if I get one it will be one more thing I have to move.
I am sure your mom will love your hair as much as you do- I am glad you are so happy with the cut. Good price too- I paid 55 dollars last time I wanted to change my cut. I would keep track of your stylist because I am betting that she will get snatched up by a salon.
Alright then- I am going to go move the thread,
Until later
Makes all us with lots of real fat to lose feel really bad. 
so sick of myself!
I am more worried about the people saying that, not that they say it but that they just don't get it, the fact that not doing "crazy" things is truly dangerous to themselves and eventually others. 
So, what is your mixed drink of choice? I'm assuming this was a broccoli asparagus carrot blend or something along those lines, no? 
