My patience level drops dramatically when I get to 37 weeks. :-/ I realize I will likely be pregnant for another 3 weeks (I'm almost 38), but I don't wanna be. I'm in excruciating pain and I'm done. /pity party

Gale - hang in there! Maybe you'll be early!

Today I am more hopeful that we can get my milk supply up to a reasonable level. I'm giving him about 2/3 of what he needs right now, which is a workable number. Trying to be positive, in any case (but boy, the feeding schedule right now is killing me. Pump every 2 hours, feed the baby when he's hungry, first just standard nursing on both sides, then nursing with a supplemental nursing system on the particularly lame side, then pump)...it's a little extreme, but it'll be worth it if it works.

That is great Amanda! Your doing awesome. I am sure you already are but be topless and resting in bed eating oatmeal muffins and drinking tons of water. Also not sure if you have started fenugreek. I have a friend who really struggled with establishing nursing and hand to use the supplemental nurser and do cup feeding etc however she and baby eventually worked it out and she was exclusively nursing and even went on to nurse her daughter till over 2. She had similar struggles with her second but went into action mode sooner. She also found the Le Leche League really helpful (This is were I met her) Also see if your library has the womanly art of breastfeeding.

Sending you lots of milk vibes and nicely established nursing vibes for you and Spencer.

We are currently doing a blend of fenugreek, blessed thistle, marshmallow root, and fennel, goats rue capsules (apparently very useful in people with PCOS), and will be starting domperidone on Monday. Also, yes, tons of skin to skin, oatmeal for breakfast, and lots of water. Because of the PCOS we are being pretty aggressive. I'm hopeful we can reduce the supplements over time. Giving him formula to supplement BROKE MY HEART, but he's already so much more content and has regained some of the lost weight, so it was the right solution at the time. Get the supply up, and we won't need it anymore.

Finally got a new car since mine died in February- Chrysler 300 Limited Edition. Nice chunk of change and payments but so worth it.

DF is now talking about moving out of state because he has lots and lots of family drama yet AGAIN! I'm tired of it too. Blah! But we just signed a new lease at our house and changing schools would be a pain and more expensive for out of state tuition. I have no clue, maybe just move cities.

Baby is doing great. He's been crabby last night and today so I haven't slept much and really need to clean, but he really just wants all the attention. Hopefully he sleeps tonight.

Manda- Sounds like you are doing great trying to establish feeding. I think having problems is pretty common. Lactation was a great help. Switching to formula was a smack in my face too. I felt like I can't do my "job" as a woman by feeding my child. Keep trying though and hopfully you get it!

Sakai- I'm sure there's a baby by now. Can't wait to hear the stats, name and see a picture.

Mindi- How are you doing with BFing? How's the adjustment at home?

Gale and Sprkle- Your time is coming soon!!

Sorry for the late update.at 5cm I caved and started iv pain meds. Then 4 hours later,and after higher doses of pictocin I was 7-8 cm...but the pain was too much. I asked for a epidural.
I freaked out and almost didn't get it. After 5min of crying and 2 more contractions, it was in and it felt so good.
8 hours later I was stalled at 8cm and it had been 25 hours since my water broke. So off to get a c-section.

Madeline was born 4:17 am yesterday. 7lb 3oz and 19 inches.
My pelvis never opened up and her head was stuck, they almost had to reach up and push her head back in so they could pull her out. The suction her head created was really strong and loud and her skull ended up a little pointed. But she's healthy.

Awww! Love the name, Sakai!! Sorry the experience was so bad though. I bet she's beautiful!

Amanda,I'm right there with you! We didn't have a consultant to consult at all. But Laney wouldn't ever latch right, so I started pumping and bottle feeding. Then I also had major supply issues, and as of two days ago, after pumping 15 minutes at a stretch every 3 hours, I got a grand total of 2.5 ounces for the DAY. We've had to supplement with formula for two weeks now, and I made the difficult decision yesterday morning that we'd go to formula exclusively. I had gotten stressed out over my horrible supply and lack of latching to the point where I was crying all the time and hated even being here at home. I decided I'd rather have Laney experience her first six weeks of life with a happy mom. She got at least a mixture of breast milk for two weeks, which isn't what I'd hoped for, but is better than none.

Mentally I feel much better today. Physically though...the boobs HURT. :(

It's just frustrating when you do everything you're "supposed" to do and it doesn't work out.

Congratulations Sakai, so glad to hear Madeline is here and healthy :carrot: I am sorry you had such a rough delivery and eventual c-section. I hope for a speedy recovery for you :hug:

Congratulations, Sakai! I'm sorry your labor was so rough, but I'm so glad everyone is doing well. :)
Are your cousins there or do you have a couple of days?

My cousin's wife is here now, my cousin will be here in a few days.

I've only had her a day here in the hospital, but already the idea of handing her off is killing me. I don't know how i'll survive this. The idea of keeping her is scary, and the idea of not keeping her is heartbreakingly painful.

As of right now i'm I limbo with my choice. Only because thinking about it hurts too much.


Edit: been talking to lots of family. And while they all agree that we could raise her, they also agree that it's gonna be hard.

It's strange how it hits in waves...i'm okay with the adoption for a few hours, then i'm not.

I'm scared of life changing too much and ending up not happy.

The only good thing is we're leaving the hospital in 5 hours and we're gonna keep her till Thursday. We hope this new life as a family will sink in and we can make a better choice, whichever it is.

Sakai, raisng a child is hard but you can get through it many of us do.

Sakai- Congrats! Can't wait to see a picture. Hopefully you having the extra time with her will help you make the right decision. If you do end up keeping her, know that it is very possible to raise a child. Just make the right decision for the three of you. Also, with the c-section, don't overdo it and don't start back to an exercise routine until the doctor okays it. My doctor has been worried about this- mine still hurts randomly or anytime I sneeze, cough or go for a long walk. Using a abdominal binder really helps if they gave you one or if you can get one.

Wow, I miss a lot when I'm gone. Thanks for all the advice on the weight gain. My current solution is to not look at the scale ever, even at the doctor's office. I'm doing all I can, so why make myself miserable? Especially because I have a tendency to overexercise which I don't want happening with the baby.

Congrats Sakai on a healthy baby girl. I'm sorry you had a rough delivery. I hope you are ok this week, whatever your choice is.

Laney had a checkup today....weighed 10 pounds 2 ounces! Big girl!!

Had some constipation issues over the weekend, but the doctor doesn't want to switch her formula just yet. We suspect it had a lot to do with the transition from at least half breast milk, half formula, to all formula.

Got on the scale for the first time the other day. Went into labor weighing 187 pounds...weighed in 2 weeks later at 163. Not bad...now just need to decide how much I want to lose. My original weight loss goal back when I lost the first time was 150-160....

Thanks for the congrats ladies. I'll have pics up soon.

Right now things have been tough. Maddie has colic we think. She's super fussy, cries all the time, really hard and hasn't made a dirty diaper in almost 48 hours. We're gonna call the Dr. in the morning to see if this is something we need to worry about.

DF and I had a massive meltdown two hours ago when Maddie started working on her 4th hour of crying. She wouldn't even calm down enough to eat. But I was finally able tpo get her to latch on. Breastfeeding hurts! I mean, I knew it was going to hurt but this sucks so bad. @.@ I was crying, baby was crying, DF was crying...We feel like horrible parents that can't deal with simple crying.

I was racking my brain for who I could call at 2 in the morning for help. But couldn't think of anyone. I'm afraid DF now see this as proof that we just can't handle a baby. Truthfully the thoughts did cross my mind as i enter 24 hours of no sleep. But I really want to make it through this and make good memories.

I just worry that Maddie is sick and in pain.

Sakai, you are not horrible parents, you are new parents, when raising children there will be tough times but there are joyful times , too. I, believe that the joyful times far outweight the tough times.

Sakai - The first few days are definitely the hardest. She's probably crying because her tummy hurts if she hasn't pooped in 2 days. Poor thing. :( Give the pediatrician a call, they should have some advice.

Hang in there!

When Spencer gets too upset to eat, he likes BIG bouncing/rocking motions. We rock him vigorously in the rocking chair, or sit on an exercise ball and bounce in big bouncing motions.

Went in for a check up. Poor baby lost a pound.
We're supplementing now with formula. She eats much better from the bottle and DF can feed her now so I was able to get some sleep (I went 48 hours with maybe 3 hours of sleep and i think that was half the reason I was having a meltdown. She's doing much better, has hardly cried and sleeps lots now, where before she would cry until she was just too tired to eat and would sleep for a hour only to wake up and cry again.

As for me, my only issue is my legs and feet are blowing up!!!!
I never had much swelling when I was pregnant but now my legs below the knee and feet look like they belong on another body. my skin feels super tight and prickly.

Sakai. it is normal for newborns to lose a little of their birthweight. She will regain it and more. When she wakes up and cries it could very well be that she is hungry. Unless the doctor seems concerned do not worry about it, most of these things that are happening are normal, you are just a little blindided because this is new for you.Try and relax, it will be OK .

Sakai: I hope things are going better for you with her eating and all!

Anyone have any advice on back pain? Thank you! :)

Racrane- a heating pad worked wonders for me

Sakai- Congrats! Beautiful name too! The swelling normal, especially after a c section. My doctor said it could last up to three weeks and that its just our bodies way of reacting to all the medication and ivs we received. Glad to hear she's doing better also! Take it easy if you can.

Racrane - I have a giant u-shaped body pillow that I sleep with. It helps a lot with my positioning at night and that helps my back during the day.

I have an appointment with my Dr on Friday. I'd like to not be induced with this one, but I think I will ask her to sweep my membranes. The pain is bordering on unbearable unless I'm in bed. Which would be ok if I didn't have 2 toddlers to keep up with.

Well in about 8 hours I will be having my baby by repeat c-section. Excited/nervous/anxious but feeling pretty joyful. Will update in a few days when we are home as I prob wont have access to a computer. Wish me good vibes :)

Sakai - just wanted to say I had big crying meltdowns when DS was a newborn and no sleep it was crazy but man it gets so much better. You are for sure not horrible parents.

Butterfly- hope all went well as I'm assuming you have a baby by now since you posted last night. Can't wait to hear the update!

Congratulations, Butterfly! Can't wait to hear an update from you!

The heating pad does help - thank you! :)

And hope all went well Butterfly!

Hi ladies - I'm still holding in there. I'm scheduled to be induced on Thursday, so little baby Jon will be here soon.

Hope you're all doing super well. We've got lots of babies here so far. :)

Butterflymama- good luck! I hope everything goes great.

I placed Madeline with my cousin and his wife two days ago.
I was mommy for 8 wonderful days. My life is changed forever. I really wish things could of been different. I cried everyday leading up to the placement. Had two major meltdowns yesterday.
Right after I felt I made a major mistake. But now that i'm a bit more calmed down, i know it was the right thing to do but I still wished things could of been different.

I'm afaid I missed my chance. it took 8 years for her to come...I might never have another. If this taught DF and I anything it's that we could be parents, we just need to try hard enough. Get our act together more and be prepared.

Just...she's such a beautiful baby, everything I wanted. i keep asking myself why. But I know time will heal everything.

Great big hugs to you Sakai. I don't have any wisdom, but know that I'm thinking about you and praying for you. You are strong and so brave, and the ultimate great mom to give your daughter the best life you can.

Oh Sakai! Hugs to you! I know the decision was a hard one but you know in your heart if it was the right one. Your time will come again and when it does you will be more prepared to be the mommy you know you can be!

Hugs, Sakai.

Things I've learned today - Spencer has half siblings (using the same donor) - a 19 month old boy in NYC, and 5 month old QUADRUPLETS (!!!!) in Chile.

We're exchanging pictures. It's strange. I knew he had to have some, but QUADS!

I can't begin to describe just how grateful I am that I don't have quadruplets! How fun to discover Spencer's half siblings. Are you going to try to keep in touch with them?

That's amazing Amanda!! Oh, and Amanda, did you get your supply issues worked out?

We've got Laney on formula, and it's making her insanely gassy. She ate at 4:50, and shouldn't have been up until nearly 8 this morning, but woke up around 6:15 screaming. It was too early for her to be hungry, so I picked her up and laid her down with her belly to my chest. She pooted twice and passed clean out. She gets really fussy at night, and I'm pretty sure this is why. Need to call the doctor to find out if we need to switch formula!

Hi, just wanted to pop in to say me and baby are doing well. :) Not really that much to say except I'm experiencing more back and rib pain. Oh well.

Hugs to you, Sakai. I'm thinking of you.

Just poping in for an update.

Mila Lilian is here! My c-section went perfectly and the spinal worked so I got to stay awake and here her first cries and watch her being weighed and then my midwife brought her over for a snuggle while the put me back together.:carrot:

Mila was 9lbs 3oz and 21" at birth :) She went on the breast and nursed for 12 mins in the recovery room. She did lose some weight and was 8lbs 7 oz when we left the hospital at 2.5 days but that is normal and my midwife was pleased. My milk is in now and she is nursing well but still needs to work on her latch (nips are tender but not too bad but my left breast is huge and sore) She is such a lovely baby and we have had 2 great restful nights with her only stirring to nurse every 2 hours but she is already side lying nursing and we are co-sleeping with a crib side cared to our bed so I don't even have to sit up!

Sakai thinking of you and sending you lots of hugs. :hug:

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Aw, congrats Butterflymama! She's beautiful! And I"m glad everything's coming along well, too!

She's beautiful Butterflymama!!!

Racrane, I had the same rib and back pains for a couple of weeks. I attributed it to just sitting around after working out for my whole pregnancy...but maybe it is just our bodies adjusting to being free of babies again. Oh, AND all the posture issues from bending over a baby constantly :) Since I've started doing some light workouts again my back has gotten better. Stretching lightly helped a lot when it was bad...

Here's a picture of Madeline.
Sorry the pic is a bit big. :o

I miss her so much. I've seen her every day since the placement, and I still pump breast milk for her even though my milk isn't really comming in. i get about 3-4 oz a day which my dr. says isn't really worth it to keepp pumping. I think she's trying to get me to stop and dry up to help with the depression. I've been put on meds too.

Df called my Dr. yesterday and told them what he was seeing with me and they had him bring me in. Thankfully they said everything going on is normal, nothing major. the meds and time should help.


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