I had no idea where to put this, and it's fairly random.
I'm 21, and my #1 goal in life is to be a mamma. I know that sounds old fashioned and such, but it's just me. My friends can't wait to have high-power careers, but I'm just looking forward to a family.
For some reason though, I have this strange anxiety that I'll be infertile for whatever reason. I don't really have a good reason to be concerned about this (that I know of). I started my period when I was very young (9 years old), and it has been perfectly regular and predictable ever since. I've never had an abnormal pelvic exam or pap smear. I've always been healthy. No problems in the family with reproduction. I'm currently juuuust shy of being in the normal BMI range.
I don't know why I feel this way...has anybody else had these concerns? I told my boyfriend this (we have plans to get married, he's an old-fashioned family type also), and he said we should just practice lots, lol.
If you've ever had a pregnancy scare & then found out you really weren't, especially if you secretly WANT it, it will make you question your fertility. If I were you I wouldn't worry. In fact, I BELIEVE, and I could be mistaken about this, that most fertility specialists ask you to try to conceive naturally for around a year before they'll prescribe meds.
(an un-asked for aside: Having a baby will NOT guarantee an improved relationship with your boyfriend, especially since he's not the affectionate type. Do you think he'll be any better toward you if you have a child? Do you think he'll be better with that child? I know you said you want to be a mom more than anything, but PLEASE make sure it's at the right time, with the right man!!!)
Just a clarification... you said you are planning on marrying your current bf, but aren't planning on having kids with him? My brain isn't computing this.
As for the fertility thing, I think most people feel that way at some point. My DH and I both did and there was no reason at all. I think it's just one of those scary "what ifs" we think about sometimes.
I think she might be suggesting that while they have plans to get married there's always the possibility that they won't marry each other, maybe?
But in response to your question, though, it's something that I've worried about pretty much all my life. I'm 23 and while I was developing physically (was a C-cup in 7th grade and a whole head taller than many of my peers), I didn't start my cycle until several years after many of them. And I was never regular. I could go any were from 35 to 50+ days between a period and for a long time, I would get one about once every other month, if I was lucky. I did start to develop a pattern of about 45 days back in late 2007 - mid 2008 about 6 months after I'd lost 20 lbs or so. But then it quickly became increasingly sporadic. Looking back, I'm sure part of it was because of the stress put on me by my mother at that time (I was getting married and she didn't approve). We literally spent two and a half months arguing and it was only made worse by the fact that I was living at home at the time.
It was something I made a point of talking to my husband about because of how heavily it still ways on my mind. Three times since we got married, I've literally broken down in his arms at night, I'm talking uncontrollable sobbing. I think the reason it's such a big worry for me is that I haven't ever really been regular and I am overweight. If I look at family history, there's no history to cause concern, though. My grandmother came from a moderately sized family. She had 4 children. I'm one of my mother's 5 biological children. My sister has two children.
I do think I've made a lot of progress with not dwelling on it in the last 4 months, though. Which is really good since he's deployed at the moment and there's nothing I could do about it one way or the other so there's no reason to let it eat me up inside. Still. It's something that's always on the back of my mind. Every time I think I've finally put it out of my mind, I'll wake up from another dream and spend the rest of the day being maudlin over it. It doesn't help that the people I spend most of my time around have never had problems TTC; one of my closest friends living in-state and I have had several large disagreements about it. I've just stopped talking about it with her altogether because she, really, just doesn't understand. And she had her first baby last November, he just turned a year old, and sometimes I feel like she doesn't appreciate how much of a miracle and a treasure he is because she conceived within a month or two of trying.
Random concern about my fertility
