[Leenie]

Okay I'm going to open up a little here so bare with me

I am digging deep within to figure out why I have an eating problem and why I do the things I do.... I've been doing some serious soul searching.

My question to you all is, how were you treated as a kid by your parents and/or siblings ?

They say a Mother teaches her daughter how to be a woman and a Father teaches his daughter how to LIKE being a woman.

When I was little (I am the youngest of 7 kids) I could remember my Father making fun of me and my sister (the one who is 400 lbs), he would even do it when company was over. NOW don't get me wrong, I'm NOT blaming him or anyone for my weight problems, I love that man dearly and I don't think he realized what he was doing. His thinking was if he embarassed us we would lose weight... sigh ~ ~ ~ Boy did and does that hurt.
I think thats why I feel so ashamed of myself, he made me feel ashamed of who I was because of my looks, being fat was bad. If he only knew.

A few choice words that only took seconds to say, scar a lifetime!

Anyway I must rise above this.

Thanks for letting me get this out and off my chest.

Love, Leens

[Sinnrah]

Hi Leens,

I am so sorry to hear that you were made fun of when you were a child. My parents did not do that to me and my brother. But, I have been in a relationship where I was told for five years that I was fat. And it does hurt and scar. And to this day, I still think about that.

Have you ever tried talking to him and letting him know that it did hurt you? Sorry, do not mean to be nosey. But, I hate that you feel ashamed.

Try to keep your spirits up. I keep you in my prayers.

Sinnrah

[Leenie]

Hi Sinnrah.

Awwww your so sweet but please don't feel sorry for me, thats not what I'm getting at here. I'm trying to help others to figure out what went wrong if anything.

Sometimes a negative experience is God's way of letting us help one another

I would love to be able to talk to my dear old dad but he went to be with the Lord in 1984 of cancer.

THE ANCHOR HOLDS, THOUGH THE SHIP IS BATTERED
THE ANCHOR HOLDS, THOUGH THE SAILS ARE TORN
I HAVE FALLEN DOWN ON MY KNEES AS I FACE THE RAGING SEA
THE ANCHOR HOLDS INSPITE OF THE STORM

HUGGS !!!

[MamaJ]

You're getting pretty deep so early in the morning!

Childhood issues? Yep, got them. I had family members also make fun of the weight. My nicname was "bubbles" give you any idea? lol I was sexually abused as a preteen by a family member. Do I believe that these things stayed with me? To a certain degree, yes. Low self asteem, always the desire to give and please others, never truly feeling accepted or loved and definately never feeling good enough. And of course, those issues have caused pain and complications during parts of my life.

I adopted a saying years ago while doing some deep soul searching myself during a very difficult time in my life. You overcome or you become things. And each day of my life I work at overcoming.

Doesn't always come easy but I also try to remind myself that the events in my life created the person God intends me to be. Now, I'm sure He wished I would enjoy a few less patio drinks and probably didn't have the cigarettes in mind! lol But the road I've traveled has left me Blessed with the more improtant.

Can I fault my indulgences (or weaknesses) to my childhood issues? Well, low self esteem and depression sure can give that temporary screw it attitude-what am I trying for thoughts. But then a reminder that I am worth every effort that I'm willing to put into my own well being keeps me going for the good days.

Gee, ya got me thinkin' girl!

[nasus40]

me YES

my father used to say my but was 3 ax handles wide at that time i was only a size 14!! so eating became my refuge to spite him. He also did it because he wanted me to lose weight but had no way to show it, as i would not be told what toe eat and what not te eat. I used to take money and buy candy and hide the wrapers under the mattress. (I wonder where my DD2 learned it??) i also had what i feel was learning problems such as ADD as i can tell now, but to my father it was a failure as my sisters and brothers all did great and i had the concentration and folllow up problem so i did not do good in school as a nother spite thing if i had applied my self then i did great but i never did as it was a way of getting attention be it negative or not. i see the same thing in my kids now and it hurts. but i am dealing with that and trying to make the two things very different for the kids. so you are talking very deep subjects for me!!!

[Tippy]

When I look way back to my childhood I figure that it was 80% ****. For my sister is was 95% though. I've remembered it all and thought it all through. Oh yes, many of my problems stem from back then. But, I also am the strong person I am because of those experiences. I'm what is called a survivor...or sometimes "the walking wounded".

My mother stuffed food into us like she was readying pigs for slaughter! If we didn't eat as much as she thought we should, it was **** to pay. And then she'd call us names regarding our weight! Oh well, that was over fifty years ago and nothing can change that. But I can choose to change my eating habits.