[Alyj89]

You know, I realize a lot of you ladies say this happened to you as you lost weight but I really didn't expect it to happen to me. The last few weeks, I've been getting compliments from complete strangers. It's a huge confidence boost but I also just don't know what to say! I say thank you, and usually feel like I should compliment them back. It's such an awkward feeling for me, I have never EVER! been complimented by a stranger before.

I'm only at 198lbs, "only" because I still have a long way until I'm where I planned my goal - I've lost 50ish lbs already, and I'm super proud of myself. I wonder if it's strictly my weight loss, or perhaps an attitude / way I carry myself change? I am playing a lot more with makeup. I am doing my nails a lot. I am doing my hair a lot. I am wearing form-fitting clothing, boots, etc. I think perhaps if I did all this 50lbs, at least to such an extent, maybe someone would of said something then too?

And I feel bad that I spent so long NOT enjoying myself like this... could I really not of enjoyed it this much before? The compliments I've been getting recently started to solidify that thinner = more attractive, but then I really started to think about it and I think it's actually it's putting effort into being more attractive = more attractive. I realize that I didn't feel worth it before, and I don't feel that I'm ... vain now, or anything. It just feels, I don't know. Free?

I just wish we could feel like this "before". It's so nice, and it's so sad to of spent so long missing out of feeling...good. And with a lot of self-reflection it wasn't because I was hideous then, it was because I didn't feel like I should bother, but I WOULD of been just as cute or whatever if I'd just tried!