One of the maintainers remarked to me recently that she felt like a failure, even though she was maintaining her weight loss, because she wasn't able to conquer her bad habits. My immediate reaction was: whoa, guess I'm a failure because I haven't figured out how to conquer those little s either!
So I'm throwing this out to you for discussion. For me, I've replaced some of my bad habits with new, better ones -- like exercising instead of binging, going to bed early instead of staying up and binging, planning my meals instead of binging (anyone see a pattern here? ) BUT ... those old habits/urges/food issues are still there and love to pop out and bite me in the butt when I'm not looking.
I'm not sure that I'll ever get to a place where my old bad habits will disappear. I'll probably always have unhealthy urges that I'll hopefully choose not to indulge. It's hard, at least for me, to mentally undo a lifetime of bad habits and choices. So I'm reconciled to having to deal with them for the rest of my life, though I suspect it gets easier for all of us as time passes and we practice learning to live maintenance.
If you look at your computer there is a default setting, I think we all have these. I am exactly who I am to the core of me, I cannot take out or put in more or less than God gave me. Accepting that for me is a relief, as a friend of mine likes to say, "I am not responsible for my first thought. I am responsible for my second thought, and my first action." So there is the gift of choice.
So here is my example "I feel bad, therefore I should act out with food" "Acting out with food makes me feel worse" My action is to call a friend, or write, or post here. Sometimes the default settings do win. But you know there is always next time.
Maintainer in Training.
Living by God's Grace.
Feeling too much for this day.
Chris
I don't think my bad habits have died, but they have fallen asleep. Sometimes the bad habits wake up to shake me and remind me when I get complacent with my food plan. This is when I have to be thoughtful and mindful of my new habits and put them into practice.
Exercise is not a problem for me, I just do it, out of habit now. With time the good food habits will take over too, I'm hoping anyways.
Chris's analogy describes me exactly. My default setting is to abuse food. It is my first thought, and some days, my only thought. It's my ability to push past the first impulse that keeps me in the maintainer category. For me, I don't think it will get any easier, in fact it seems to be getting harder. This is pretty depressing (probably to others who are reading this, too) considering how long I've been working at this. Comparatively, LOSING the weight was very easy: I was totally obsessed by the process. I substituted one obsession for another. Luckily for my weight, I'm still obsessed in the gym and can "manage" my binges mostly with the same actions Meg described. Last night I just went upstairs with a book at 8pm and never came down until the morning.
Sometimes it seems easy, when life is humming along smoothly. Lately my life has NOT been humming along and that's when the struggles with food are the worst. Back in my late teens and early 20's my control-freak reaction was to stop eating, but somewhere along the years my brain did a flip-flop to the opposite end of the spectrum. I'm not sure which is worse
i look at habits as something i do all the time, everyday and if i don't do it i really feel it down to my bones. like i smoke. i do. and when i finish a pack or even before, i go out and buy another one. i used to eat chocolate bars (yes with an "s", many "s" in fact ) and chips and eat canned soup for dinner. boy those were bad habits.
now i eat really well. meat and fruit and veggies and legumes. and i exercise too. yesterday i had a chocolate bar because i wanted one. but i haven't had one in a long while. so now when i occasionally eat one i don't think i am still in my bad habits but that i simply had a chocolate bar. habits, i figure, are in the doing, and with regularity. the rest are urges, the vestiges of the old habits.
the only hint of a bad habit i hear here is the habitual response to triggers, the ones that urge you to turn toward food for comfort, calmness and such. but since you all are maintaining your weight wonderfully it can't be an urge that you give into very often at all. as i have come to understand from reading your posts vigilence is the important factor and probably the hardest one.
you women and men who post in this forum are such an inspiration, thank you so much for the motivation.
I'm not a maintainer yet, but I'm closing in on it. But, I read maintainer's posts (and sometimes post) because of a revelation I had when I started my most recent effort. To make a long story shortish, I've been seriously overweight all my life. I was a 6 1/2 pound baby but that was the last time I was a "normal" weight. I'd lost some weight before during various efforts in my teens and twenties, but after that I gave up and just kept gaining and gaining until 3 years ago. I realized deep in my gut that one of the things that had tripped me up before was the diet mentality. Sure, I would have been able to tell you that whatever you do to lose weight, you have to keep doing it to keep the weight off. But, I didn't really FEEL what that meant. When I finally GOT IT, when I finally saw losing weight not as a temporary state of being but the beginning of a different type of life ... that's when I thought I might be able to accomplish my goals. I realized I would have to make PERMANENT changes, not just surface changes, but turn my psyche inside out and rebuild myself from scratch.
All of that to say ... all my life I thought that, after being on a diet, there would come a magic day when I no longer wanted the things that made me overweight. That, just by practice and habit, healthy living would come naturally to me. Well, one of the huge revelations I had was that, no -- no matter how many changes I made, how many new attitudes and habits I developed, no matter how adept at self-observation and planning and discipline, I would still be me deep inside. I would still be a compulsive overeater. I don't even think of these things as "habits" -- eating 2 plates of nachos and a pint of ice cream for dinner is no longer a habit. But, they are urges. As I sometimes say to my Jenny Craig counselors, the voice in my head saying, "Eat. Eat more. Eat a lot more." are still there. What's happened is that, over time, I've developed a counter voice that says, "Oh don't be silly." Sometimes that second voice is a bit weak, sometimes it's gone on vacation. But, most of the time it's there and functioning and prevents the Eat Voice from winning.
When I realized that the voice would always be there, when I realized that, dadgummit, I have a compulsive personality (and it affects more than just food), I knew that it was going to be a life-long struggle. But just knowing that was, in a way, a comfort. I know what I'm up against, and I'm not operating under some delusion that there will be a day when the voice goes away. I hope it gets a bit weaker over time. However, it's been back with a vengance the last few months, and I've been in a stall because the old urges have won and I've eaten off plan a lot. But, because I know I'm in this for the long haul, I just have to be patient with myself and encourage the Don't Be Silly voice. I feel back on track -- a bit shaken, but back on track.
It's definitely Practice makes Perfect. (or almost perfect...)
I just had a thought about practice, practice...Dakota ('my' horse) has a bad habit of moving away from the mounting block before I signal him to move forward (I've gotten into the saddle, but don't have the reins in hand or my right foot in the stirrup). It's not like he moves at a TROT, but he takes some steps away. After my trainer has worked with him a couple of times on this, D. will quietly wait at the block until I ask him to move forward. Of course after awhile of not having the lesson reinforced, he will go back to his old habit of moving forward prematurely.
So what you need to do - Practice, practice! Anything worth having takes practice. And yup, I struggle too when the thought of 'recreational eating' comes to mind. What I do is find other recreational activities - right now I've got a ton of them - riding, horsing around , Pilates, Yoga, the gym, getting a massage, etc. - that don't 'work well' with eating. (In fact my Pilates/yoga instructor tells us NOT to eat for 2 hours prior to class...so there ya go!) Another action I take is to control my environment at home - right now, the 'worst' thing we have here is cold cereal (Jim's gotta have it).
I don't really have much more to add - I'm the same as most people here.
I don't think my bad habits will ever go away, and they always rear their ugly head at the times it's hardest to deal with them.
Managing them is going to be a lifelong battle!
I just really wanted to thank Chris for this line:
Quote:
"I am not responsible for my first thought. I am responsible for my second thought, and my first action."
Yesterday morning I ended up in a brunch buffet. I do terribly at buffets. There's a reason I didn't step into one during my weight loss journey and still hesitsate on my continued journey. Anyhoo, got my first plate, took a muffin (their muffins are good), half a plate of fruit, one small sausage, one slice of bacon and a little bit of scrambled eggs. I ate it all (it really wasn't that much). WHILE I was eating the muffin, I decided I wanted another one. I decided to go and actually got up. Then something in my stopped. My normal reaction would have been to eat more. That's my buffet habit. I decided I had eaten enough, sat down and had coffee for the rest of meal and realized I didn't even feel deprived. I had my treat with my first muffin and a second one wasn't going to really do anything. (Sorry I had to relate this example, I am proud of this)
My point? I always have to be conscientious of my bad habits, they are always there. Replacing new habits help, but doesn't always mean the old ones completely. But old habits can be minimized I guess through good 'ole effort and just well being aware of the bad habits.
I always have to be conscientious of my bad habits, they are always there.
Same here, I am always "thinking" about what I will or will not eat to keep my healthy...This mindful/thoughtful eating is what helps me stay on track...
Will this ever go away? Probably not, but the good habits I develop will stay. But it's always a thinking process! DAng it, it's not a natural reaction, YET!!
Bad Habits - Do They Ever Die?
s either!
) BUT ... those old habits/urges/food issues are still there and love to pop out and bite me in the butt when I'm not looking.
Of course after awhile of not having the lesson reinforced, he will go back to his old habit of moving forward prematurely.
