Writing down stuff is really working for me. The self-consciousness this induces naturally leads to some restriction.
Also, this way of eating feels so familiar to me, watching for hunger cues and never feeling too full.
Is it my old bad ways of over-restricting, which inevitably lead to a binge?
Or is this a more sensible, less eating-for-comfort?
I believe that when I began strength training, I started eating more with a vague sense of meeting higher protein requirements, and needing more fuel, and I didn't reduce carbs or fats.
I also wish it could recede in importance in my mind. If I could forget about it for hours on end, I'd be okay.
I also wish it could recede in importance in my mind. If I could forget about it for hours on end, I'd be okay.
Amen. I really need to get to that point. I'm at a weight that I am happy with, 142, and do tons of exercise but I am still using MFP to track everything. It feels a little obsessive, but I've never kept weight off this long (~9 months).
Saef-- that sounds like a happy medium for you, hopefully.... to write things down but not count every calorie. I hope you see some movement in the direction you are hoping for.
Michele and Sharon, thanks. I am trying to be methodical and attentive without falling over the edge into obsessive-compulsive behaviors.
There are people who struggle with imposing order on their lives, and there are people who essentially cage themselves with self-imposed routines, lists and scripts that they feel impelled to follow. I am the latter type of person. It's hard for me to see when structure starts closing in around me and is no longer helping me.
My workplace rewards people for this orderliness, which is another form of enabling.
And as for my discomfort with writing stuff down, even as it's working, I offer an anecdote from my reading that I still remember. It comes from an essay written by a woman who was struggling with an eating disorder for decades. She became very ill at one point (not as a result of the eating disorder, at least not directly) and worried that if she were incapacitated, her adult children would have to go through her papers, and they would find dozens of notebooks in which she'd listed exactly what she ate, day after day, year after year. She thought that was a sad legacy to leave them, and I agree with that.
Well, that was years ago. Now whenever I see an overly meal-centered Instagram or Facebook feed (and I don't mean the occasional chronicling of special occasions or one's cooking triumphs), I think it's the up-to-date equivalent of that. A life in which there aren't many experiences but meals, or that food is the main experience, even though a person isn't a professional in the food industry. Or the opposite, a life centered on avoidance of food, where every meal has to be publicly confessed and offered up for inspection. I don't really want either.
I find that when I write down my calories in my little tiny book,that I am able to stay the course.I have an actual visual of how I am doing and when the calories get high enough I stop or slow down.The same with my daily weigh ins.
This ritual keeps me maintaining my weight loss.Even if I did not write it down I would always be thinking about my food and calorie intake.I just find that the concrete evidence keeps it real....I am a visual person.
I have tried it the other way and things just get away from me too fast and I am back to counting calories for weight loss and not maintenance.I would rather be counting maintenance calories than scrambling to lose weight.
Everyone had their own way.I just don't trust myself any other way.
But ... (and I hate myself for adding this qualifier, which is just me being hard on myself) ... I was 155.1 yesterday morning, and I was hoping for 155.
Now how to stop those dashed hopes from taking away from my success over the past week? I do not want to get into the spiral of disappointment at achieving rather than over-achieving.
I have to remind myself that the way I lost over 100 pounds was to be grateful for every little bit less, week after week. As long as the number was lower, even by fractions, I was getting there.
That is how I've got to think. I made progress this week.
I remembered that being a little hungry isn't awful.
I fought with "pre-emptive" eating -- eating out of fear of being hungry, and eating because "it's about time for my snack."
I remembered the feeling of having had enough, but not feeling completely full.
Also I reveled in the feeling that this was fixable, rather than despair which I've felt lately, like, "I work out hard, my apartment is full of healthy foods, I haven't eaten this thing or that thing in YEARS, I cook home-made meals for myself, I eat fruit and vegetables and STILL my weight crept up." I felt helpless and angry.
Saef..I really feel your disappointment with slow weight loss,but your attitude will win out.I am sure you have thought of the alternative if nothing is done.All your hard effort has at least kept you from becoming obese and I think that is admirable.
With all your exercise you probably have a smaller and trimmer body than your weight indicates.Your bones and muscles are probably healthy and dense.
We are all in the same boat,teetering on the edge and would not be here if we were naturally thin.
Your spirit inspires me and your"never give up"attitude has kept you under 200 lb and that in itself is huge.
Saef-- have you ever kept a gratitude journal? Your thoughts and writing can be so powerful and positive-- perhaps seeing the positive would help to keep those negative thoughts from creeping in!
Why can't our bodies know which day is "weigh in" day and just cooperate?
I recently started using a planner/ life journal and I'm loving it. I had kept track of my weight and exercise for years in a small journal, but this has more room, etc. to keep track of whatever you want to. So, I'm keeping track of which days I do strength training, which days are high carb vs. low carb, etc. And it's freaking adorable with stickers and what not! It's by Erin Condren. They are pricey but I'm worth it (right?). If anyone is interested in getting anything from them, PM me and I can send you a code for $10 off your purchase. My daughter told me about them and said many of her teachers use them. My dd got hers and it she has completely decorated it and put in inspirational quotes, etc. to help her along her journey.
My back is getting better very very slowly. I'm very concerned about flying tomorrow. I see the chiropractor today and I'll see if he can offer some advice. I'm also worried about my eating plan over the rest of the month. I'm finishing week two of carb cycling and I had a great first week, but this week I'm holding steady (most likely due to zero exercise since Monday and inflammation). Then I go visit my dd and I will do my best to stay close to plan, but obviously I won't have my pre-made meals with me..... Later in the month is obviously Thanksgiving (dd and I are going to switch our Sunday Funday that week to Thanksgiving to allow a little fun), and I'm also going to Napa with dd and dh (and we always indulge there). On top of that, my school always has a big T-Day feast and I debated not participating. I always tell myself I'll be good and then it doesn't happen. But I feel anti-social not participating. So, I signed up. Luckily it will be on a higher carb day so I'll try to focus on lean proteins, veggies, and a few carbs. I signed up to bring veggies and a dip so that is easy.
While I'm visiting younger dd in Arizona, she wants to drive to Phoenix (2 hours away) to go to Nordstrom Last Chance. Apparently it's the only one in the country and it is where returns and other things that don't sell go. It sounds like a madhouse. If you have a few minutes look at the yelp ratings. I'm worried that my back won't be able to handle it and I'll definitely be bringing snacks and water!!
So much of what you posted resonated with me. In the past, I had a lot of trouble with "pre-emptive" eating. Beck was supposed to help with that, but the one-shot exercises didn't really fix it for me. It took months of IF for me to really internalize that hunger was no big deal and a cup of coffee or broth works wonders. Eating more because I'm exercising, whether or not I feel hungrier? So been there, done that. And I have absolutely felt helpless and angry as the scale creeps up even after resolving repeatedly to move it back down.
More important than the progress on the scale, fantastic though that is, is the progress you've made on the psychological front and also in finding a tool/approach that is effective for you, so congratulations again.
Apo, glad you have a way that you can maintain. I've seen studies that writing things down works well for a lot of people. Different folks have different strengths and I was never able to keep doing that for long in maintenance. Even knowing it would work, I just didn't.
Michele, glad to hear your back's getting better. I can understand your being nervous about flying with it still on the mend. Good luck at the Last Chance!
I don't seem to be managing to trend any lower, but I am managing to maintain pretty well. I was at 138.4 this morning. I am pretty content with my lifestyle and since the scale isn't creeping up I'm not stressing. I'd like to find a way to push lower without compromising my level of contentment. I have made some changes, and maybe it will just take a while to see any signal in the noise.
Well, up to 139.4 this morning. Ended up not trying a low-carb day yesterday. We roasted a turkey and I just didn't feel like passing on stuffing. I think weekends may just not be a good choice since the meals are more elaborate and we often eat out. We are eating out tonight, so I'm not going to try today either. Maybe a MWF schedule would work better for me.
With carb cycling, I do low carb Monday, Wednesday , and Friday, and higher carb the other days.
That being said, I made a poor dinner choice last night! Good thing I don't have a scale here in Arizona. We are driving to Phoenix today to hit the Nordstrom last chance. Hope I survive.
Well, yesterday we ate at an Indian bistro, and while I didn't eat any nan (I'm not all that fond of it), I wouldn't describe the meal as low-carb (delicious, though; I had lamb korma). I just don't think I am up for additional restriction (on top of the one-meal-a-day) on weekends. I don't want my weight management to get in the way of any special activities. So, I am going to try low carbing on MW(F) with any special circumstances overriding. That means I will try again today. At least Wed seems easy. Hopefully Mondays won't be a problem either. Then whichever Fridays work out -- great, but if not, no worries.
Despite eating out yesterday, the scale held steady at 139.4 this morning. Higher than I want, but I was expecting a larger number.
I've been here in Atlanta (hi Shannon!) since Friday at a conference, and it's been a rough one. I had several presentations to give and none of them were close to ready - I was still collecting data the day before I left, to give you an idea of how bad it was. I've been working on them at night; the first 2 days were filled with board meetings. The combo of almost no sleep for a week, plus jet lag and stress, is a toxic one. And to compound it, the board meetings went 14 hours a day without breaks, so that was 2 days sitting in a chair, not exercising, eating the food that they gave us with no chance to run out and get something else. I was so desperate to move my body that I walked up the stairs to my room on the 22nd floor after the second day ended, even though I was so exhausted I was stumbling.
On the plus side, my presentations are done and I get to go home tomorrow. And my big realization is: I spent the past several days forced to live in a way that I really hate - eating food that I don't enjoy at all, not exercising at all, sleeping little. And it didn't kill me. It doesn't feel great to lose that control over my life, but I wonder if it's actually good for me sometimes.
Dear God, 14 hour board meetings? What satanical person thought that up? Glad you survived, but really? Makes me so happy I'm not in corporate American any longer.
In fact, this afternoon I was in our shop after finding our shop manager (my FIL who works for us part time) and going back into the office when I thought to myself, I am so lucky to be doing this! We own the business and the building and all the employees are happy and paid well. So rewarding!
