Now that I am maintaining , why do people ask why I still work out / diet
I have been at my goal for a year now , and I still get "so you still working out ?" and "I guess you eat whatever you want " comments all the time . Do people really think watching what you eat and excersize is only for people who want to lose ? It's just frustrating .
People I know asked me the same thing when I hit my goal weight. They didn't think I was going to workout any more. I nicely explained that I have to keep doing what I was doing all along. That's when I got that shocked/blank stare from them. I guess they don't "get it".
I lost weight and got fat again. Lost it, got fat. Lost/fat.
I never "GOT IT" that I had to continue eating properly, etc. Neither do the people who are asking you most likely--they figure a diet is for losing weight, not keeping it off. Same with the exercise.
If I've done it and only just got the point now, 30 years later, I can understand the questions from others.
I'm far from done and certainly not small, but having lost 28 this year, 20 of that in the past 4 months so it seems quick, people I have not seen are saying I look great, don't lose more, time to stop. Silly really. At 170, they are seeing what looks "normal" to them but perceiving it as "done" for me.
Pay them no mind, unless you really want to educate them that once the dieting is done and the goal is met, a different battle to keep it off begins.
It is a compliment, sorta. Those who assume you can eat whatever you want == did they know you when you were heavier? Are they heavy and wish they had your "miracle metabolism" LOL. Take it as a compliment to your past efforts and your continuing efforts.
Good luck with that.
Last edited by 124chicksinger; 12-18-2011 at 06:27 PM.
I have to disagree about not wasting your breath. Certainly there are times to keep your mouth shut, but there are also teachable moments too.
It's no wonder that most people know so little about weight loss when we're taught that we're not supposed to talk about it, and/or there's no use to talking about it.
Ignorance may be the biggest obstacle to weight loss. I strongly believe (it was very true for me) that most people give up because they think they're failing, not because they actually are. They believe they're failing, because they don't know what normal weight loss looks like, and they assume that they're doing poorly because they don't know what normal is.
In the 40 years I've been dieting, it's always been bad, but it's gotten much worse with the advent of reality shows like The Biggest Loser. Now, instead of people getting discouraged when they're not losing 2 to 4bs a week (like they may have occasionally have seen in weight loss groups or read about in magazines), people are getting discouraged when they don't lose 10-20 lbs a week like the contestants on TBL.
You're under no obligation to be a motivational speaker/educator, but if you're willing to and have the talent for it, you'll be helping a lot of people, maybe even yourself - because teaching a skill is often an excellent way to continue practicing and valuing it.
Ignorance may be the biggest obstacle to weight loss. I strongly believe (it was very true for me) that most people give up because they think they're failing, not because they actually are. They believe they're failing, because they don't know what normal weight loss looks like, and they assume that they're doing poorly because they don't know what normal is.
I wholeheartedly agree. I truly believe that ignorance is the reason that so many people fail to reach their goals or that they gain the weight back if they do. We just aren't taught these things and neither are our parents or teachers.
I remember being angry when I had taught myself about calories and nutrition. I remember being angry that I had to go and find this information on my own. I wanted to know why I was never taught about proper nutrition or eating a certain amount of calories. Why did I have to go and find this information? Why wasn't it taught to me in school or why didn't my parents learn this so they could teach it to me?
I often teach myself things, but that's who I am. Nobody should have to resort to that unless they want to.
By now everyone probably knows that I'm a teacher and I believe that education is incredibly valuable. I'm very passionate about making sure that everyone gets the education they deserve and nutrition should be a part of that! This is why if someone asks me how I lost weight, I'll tell them. If they have questions, I'll answer them. Even if they want to know how much I weigh I'll tell them that too since that helps women with their body image.
I don't mind teaching others, but that's my job (even though it never feels like a job). I do it every day when I work with my kids. Not everyone is comfortable doing that and shouldn't feel obligated to if they don't want to.
I'm still low on the totem pole when it comes to education, but I want to make it my mission to get more health education in the classroom. Unfortunately it's usually the first thing cut when the budgets are low Classroom teachers are expected to pick up the slack and it can be hard if they don't even know proper nutrition! My degree is also in general education and we had ONE CLASS on health which had about one class during that semester on nutrition. I know we're not supposed to be health teachers...but still. :/
They say: "Oh, you're done losing weight! Now you can eat cake and watch TV and quit the gym"
I say: "Nope, this wasn't a diet it was a lifestyle change. That means it's permanent. Plus, being thin and healthy is so much more satisfying than any amount of cake or TV."
People honestly just do not get the concept of a lifestyle change. And that's why people are stuck in the Diet Mentality and will keep yo-yoing until they do "Get It."
Oh yes-- I get these responses all the time. Sometimes I mention that I got heavy eating those foods and not exercising, and I'm not letting that happen again.
My dear uncle (age 80) asked me last week on the phone "how are you doing with that weight situation"? When I asked what he was talking about, he said that the last time he saw me I looked like I was from a third world country. Really?!? I politely told him that I've been at a healthy weight for over 3 years and I dropped it.
I have to disagree about not wasting your breath. Certainly there are times to keep your mouth shut, but there are also teachable moments too.
It's no wonder that most people know so little about weight loss when we're taught that we're not supposed to talk about it, and/or there's no use to talking about it.
Sure. I meant don't waste your breath on people who Don't Want to Know About It, not people who are asking for help. I assume all those who ask why we're still dieting and working out have never had a weight problem, and therefore Will Never Get It.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sontaikle
I remember being angry when I had taught myself about calories and nutrition. I remember being angry that I had to go and find this information on my own. I wanted to know why I was never taught about proper nutrition or eating a certain amount of calories. Why did I have to go and find this information? Why wasn't it taught to me in school or why didn't my parents learn this so they could teach it to me?
I often teach myself things, but that's who I am. Nobody should have to resort to that unless they want to.
I remember feeling angry that I had to figure it all out on my own too. And yet...
Quote:
Originally Posted by sontaikle
I don't mind teaching others, but that's my job (even though it never feels like a job). I do it every day when I work with my kids. Not everyone is comfortable doing that and shouldn't feel obligated to if they don't want to.
I agree with this too. I don't feel comfortable teaching others and most of the people who comment on my food/exercise habits are my co-workers, and I prefer to keep work conversations neutral.
I feel your pain. I get comments from all directions, though they've finally slowed a bit after 6 years of maintenance. I have gotten the "you don't need to work out, you're so skinny!" comment multiple times. I get a lot of comments on what I'm eating, even though at this point I'm so sensitized/p!@#$% off that I never, ever bring up food, diet, or exercise to anyone but about two trusted friends.
I had one co-worker who would always comment on what I'm eating. Once I was eating bran cereal for breakfast, and she said "I couldn't stand to eat food that doesn't taste good!" I hadn't said anything, made any face, and actually I like bran cereal... at this point I've been on maintenance for a while and people are used to my veggie consumption. My carrots are still poked fun at, but if I eat something that seems unhealthy (like a cookie) I'm asked/told about how unhealthy it is and how much I'll have to work out to burn it off. I can't win... hence the not bringing up food to anyone!
It's already been said that perhaps the misinformation about nutrition that exists is why there are so few successful maintainers. I totally agree! I've watched my Mom be "on" or "off" a diet for years. No in between. Though I'm sometimes more or less strict, or have more or fewer treats, I also think of it as a lifestyle I'm living for the rest of my life. As for education, if someone is genuinely interested and asks about what I'm eating or... whatever, and I think they will "hear" what I'm saying, I'll discuss it. If I don't think they care I won't go into it, particularly if it's someone I see often. I don't like to open myself up to negative commentary on my exercise and dietary habits bc of all the critical comments I've gotten in the past.
I often remind myself that what somebody says to you often tells you more about them, not you.
I agree with most of the comments made so far. I'm not sure that I think that people who make such comments need educating, though. I think that most people realize that to lose weight, one needs to eat less and move more. I consciously knew this all of my adult life, yet I still yo-yo dieted most of my adult life. There was a disconnect between my conscious knowledge of what I would have to do and my inner acceptance of it. I think the latter comes with maturity as just in this most recent attempt, I feel as if I "get it"---i.e., the behavior I did to lose the weight is the same behavior I need to do to keep it off. I was told that many times, I read it many times, but this is the only time I seem to have really internalized it.
So, while it's mildly annoying when people seem to think that we can go back to our old patterns when we lose, I chalk it up to them not being ready to face reality---just as for many years I wasn't.
I'm not a maintainer yet, but over the year and a half that I've been working on losing weight, I've gotten a lot of compliments, comments, and flak for what I'm doing.
I've discovered a few things about people who talk to me about my weight loss.
They usually mention it to me for a few common reasons:
It's new and surprising
They want to congratulate me
They use it as an opening to talk about their own diet
They want a discussion to talk about how superior their way of eating/living is or inferior mine is
There are some other reasons, but these are major ones I've found. In all of them, no one actually wants to know how/why I'm doing what I'm doing. Even if they ask directly (it usually is only a polite question and they glaze over if I talk more than 1-2 sentences about it, or they want to talk about their own diet, etc.).
If I got the impression someone really wanted to know, I'd tell them. To date, I've never felt that anyone actually wanted to know. I would LOVE to talk about it. I never have, so far.
I'm also cautious because if I tell people what I'm doing or what I've done, that opens me up to them monitoring me (which is kind of natural) and then commenting/criticizing (not as natural). I don't want that. And I don't need it. I've been switching up my plan for a few months now to narrow down on what works for me, and I don't need people telling me I'm failing at Plan A when I've already moved on to Plan D and they just don't know it.
I'm cool with answering questions or whatever if people actually want to know. But I've never met anyone who actually wants to be EDUCATED on it. I won't hide it, but I'm not volunteering either.
It's silly isn't it? Once you've experienced feeling good in the morning and when you go to bed at night because you know you've treated your body well that day, why would you want to stop? Yo-yo-ing stinks and I do it too - but I would never wish it on someone else!
Now that I am maintaining , why do people ask why I still work out / diet
Classroom teachers are expected to pick up the slack and it can be hard if they don't even know proper nutrition! My degree is also in general education and we had ONE CLASS on health which had about one class during that semester on nutrition. I know we're not supposed to be health teachers...but still. :/
