Whether you are too thin or not? Honey only you can answer that. You know your body, you know your behaviors, you know YOU. So you just need to accept that others aren't always going to have the same views and opinions of us that we want them to, this is especially true with parents. This is true for me too and it really got me questioning my motives and goals. So just chalk it up to your dad being of an older generation when things were different and not being "used" to seeing you at this current weight.
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Should I eat bread or not? Should I get my carbs just from fruits or vegetables? Should I only eat paleo with an occasional cheat day? Should I just eat three meals a day and that's it? These are the questions that I struggle with.
Stop it! Ok that was harsh, but seriously you're going to give yourself anxiety. Trust me, I've only been at this maintenance thing a year but the more I analyze, over analyze and analyze some more the harder it becomes. When I sit back and ask myself what my body truely wants and accept that MY personal eating patterns - it's a breeze. Yes I eat carbs, **** I eat refined carbs sometimes. But generally, yes I try to make my diet as clean as possible and have a little fun on the weekends.
It's what we do MOST of the time that matters, not SOME of the time. as long as you've got good habits, carbs are fine, fat is fine, sugar is fine. You just have to know your body and how much of these things it can tolerate. Sure some people can't tolerate sugar or carbs, and some people are addicted to food, but when you just settle down and are moderate about it all - it all good. It really is I promise
Only you can say if you feel too thin or not. I'm your height and I got down to 116 and that felt too thin to me, I'm at 133 now and still have people tell me sometimes I need to eat a sandwich. It is all subjective.
On your diet - do what works for you. Like ncuneo said above - don't obsess about it and make yourself crazy. You are in a hard place right now, so you don't need anymore stress.
me more than a little upset. I was near tears. When I asked my DH point-blank if he thought my father was right, he said, 'absolutely not'.
I have to wonder just how objective do you think your dh really was being put on the spot "point-blank" like he was? I mean, he saw how terribly upset you were...on the verge of tears you say. Do you really think he's going finish the job so that you would break down and sob? If my dh and I were in the same position, he would say anything to make me feel better, even if he fudged his true honest feelings...It's like telling your wife she doesn't look fat. KWIM?
Anyway, I know many people have told you that only YOU can decide if you are too thin, but I don't think that is exactly accurate. For example, anyone with anexoria or similar disorders will tell you they are too fat even if they weigh 100 pounds.
I would go see your doctor...I mean, since you started this journey at a near perfect/normal BMI to a weight that is on the verge of underweight, maybe you do need some guidance from a professional. I guess I'm like your Dad, I'm not used to seeing women my height at such low weights unless they are in some sort of treatment for something.
ETA: Please know that I'm not implying that you are anorexic or have any other eating disorder. I'm just trying to make the point that sometimes we can develop body image issues and we don't/can't see in the mirror what other people see when they look at us.
+1 to paperclippy. Your stats show you to be on the bottom edge of healthy on the BMI. Now, the BMI was never meant to assess health, it was a population metric of the 1800s but still, you are, by the numbers hovering at the general population's definition of "too thin." I would expect, at this point that you would get this type of comment, it's not that they want you to be their ideal, but that you set off their warning bells and they worry about you. The best answer you can give them is "I have talked to my doctor and he/she has declared me healthy the way I am. I have no desire to be unhealthy, just the best version of me."
I'd suggest also that you get a medical opinion. And be sure to tell your doc how much you eat and how much you exercise. Docs don't know this stuff unless you tell them.
If nothing else, you'll be able to say that your doctor thinks you're fine. Or, if your doctor thinks there's a problem, then that's good information to have.
In addition to the points already made, I'd like to chime in that the source of a comment is sometimes important to consider. Does your dad normally make thoughtful comments, or is he often overly critical? What context was it said in - did he throw it off-the-cuff or was he trying to have a serious moment of concern with you? Sometimes it's hard to be objective about family members, but... if he is often critical I'd say ignore him. If he was genuinely concerned maybe it's worth a one-time sit-down to tell him how healthily you eat, how great you feel.
FWIW; from a doctor:
Too thin = (1) your body is undergoing hormonal changes to compensate for inadequate nutrition and body fat stores (e.g., you lose your period, your thyroid starts to underperform, your morning body temperature drops by a degree or more, you are anemic, etc); (2) you cannot eat a nutritionally sound diet (one that provides you with the minimum daily required macro- and micro-nutrients- see fnic.nal.usda.gov for details) without gaining weight; (3) you feel unwell - are chronically tired, irritable, unable to concentrate, have low-level depression, etc that is NOT EXPLAINED by other medical problems. A caution: sometimes, #3 is not apparent to you unless you gain some weight, and contrast how you feel then to how you felt before.
If you ask a competent doctor whether your body weight "is right for you" (:>), she should respond by asking you a host of additional questions related to the above, and follow it up with some lab tests, per #1. Just like the related question "am I too fat," the answer to "am I too thin" BIOLOGICALLY has very little to do with what you see in the mirror, and mostly to do with what's happening to you INSIDE. The aesthetic question is a completely different one, to which the right answer changes with the winds of fashion.
My weight fluctuates by 40 pounds and my in-laws and friends never comment because they know it's all medicine related and out of my control if I'm on the heavy medicine verses the thin medicine.
But people lately have been saying not to lose any more weight. So I'm trying to eat as healthy as I can and eat as much of my lunch and dinner as I can. Just not a breakfast eater. If I feel I need a snack. I eat a snack.
Im sure your father's comment hurt on a couple levels. One, he is your parent so of course on a very primal level you want his approval, support and unconditional love. My best bet is that he loves you and is just not accustomed to the change...so out of caring he voiced concern. On a second level, Im guessing the comment was most upsetting because it hit upon some personal insecurity. Its ok to be insecure when in new territory.
I think you need to just ask yourself what you want. Do you want to be at your current weight? You are on the lower edge of a medically safe weight. Which unless a medical profession has specific concerns, is not an issue for anyone to speculate about. It sounds like you are happy with your weight. Trust that. Trust yourself.
And regarding diet. How do you *want* to eat? All of those methods work just great for different people. What do you feel is best, easiest to maintain, makes you feel the best in the short and long term? If you know, go with it! If you dont...just decide it is ok to try a variety of things and adapt. Its ok. You dont have to have all the answers. You are doing an amazing job of taking care of your body.
Ummm, tough one this. I have been going through the same problem recently, and clearly at 150lbs I'm not too thin, but I have been suffering the "Stop it now" comments from a variety of people. Even DH says I shouldn't lose more. However, I think when people have seen you bigger , in my case twice the size, it's extremely hard for them to see you at a reasonable weight. They cannot extrapolate the thinner you from the fatter you, even if they have watched you lose the weight. Now if I were to see my father, who I haven't seen since I was 300lbs, I think I'd get the same reaction as you. People's perceptions are sometimes skewed.
I do think you may want to consider the numbers, as others have said you are at the low end of normal, and perhaps thats where the concern comes from with your Dad.
I think the really telling thing is how emotional this makes you feel.
I've had plenty of people tell me all kinds of rude things about my weight. It used to bother me a lot- too fat, too thin, whatever it was that day. This was a product of my warped obsession with my weight and body. The number on the scale used to make or break my day. Now, I feel like I'm past all that and people who tell me I'm too thin, I just laugh. It's not about what they say, it's about how it makes you feel. And if it makes you feel very emotional, that's coming from inside you. Is it possible that somewhere inside you actually are concerned that you may be thinner than you should be?
Asking your man is never going to get you a straight answer. What's he going to say? Yes, you are too thin? No way! Not unless he wants to sleep on the couch.
I have seen friends lose a lot of weight and there is a point where you become concerned- your anxiety over your diet is another red flag. This shouldn't be stressing you out so much. Might be a good idea to talk to somebody.
I saw my father over the weekend and he stated that I was 'too thin' in his opinion ...
Should I eat bread or not? Should I get my carbs just from fruits or vegetables? Should I only eat paleo with an occasional cheat day? Should I just eat three meals a day and that's it? These are the questions that I struggle with.
My eating has always been the missing link in my quest for better health. Even when I exercised for months at a time, my eating habits were always poor.
My pastor and mom recently told me this. My DH is thrilled with my looks, and honestly, it is MY opinion about ME that is the only one that counts. Finally.
I think the questions you posted are dead on right. Ask them, journal YOUR responses in a systamatic manner, then decide. This is exactly what I have done and I am in fabulous health as recent, complete and thorough medical exams attest to. Read, read, read- Wheat Belly & anything by Gary Taubes are starting points. Kaplods is another must read on how to interpret personal data and I daily visit diethobby.com. Other health symptoms might surprisingly clear up or then maybe not.
Congratulations on the weight loss and maintenance. Few lose it, and fewer maintain it!
