Frustrated about 'too thin' comment
 

I saw my father over the weekend and he stated that I was 'too thin' in his opinion which left me more than a little upset. I was near tears. When I asked my DH point-blank if he thought my father was right, he said, 'absolutely not'. He pointed out that I looked fit but certainly not gaunt or frail like my dad was hedging at. I'm still new to this maintenance thing and my father's comment (even though I don't agree with him) has made me second-guess my IF way of eating. I'm so confused.

Should I eat bread or not? Should I get my carbs just from fruits or vegetables? Should I only eat paleo with an occasional cheat day? Should I just eat three meals a day and that's it? These are the questions that I struggle with.

My eating has always been the missing link in my quest for better health. Even when I exercised for months at a time, my eating habits were always poor. Short of going to a RD which is not a financial option right now, I'm asking for help with my diet. Please! Anyone?!? TIA.

The problem nowadays is that I don't think people are used to seeing thin folks unless they're on television (doesn't TV add pounds? I've seen celebrities in real life and they always seem thinner in person), so when they actually DO see a real thin person, it's a shock! Clearly that person needs to eat or something! </sarcasm>

You probably already know this, but you're in the normal BMI range so I don't see the need for worry. You're also extremely fit, so I'm sure you look great! While your father may just have your best interests in mind, he isn't you or your doctor so he doesn't know that you're fine and healthy at that weight unless you straight up told him (would he listen?)

I'm pretty sure I remember you posting before that your weight loss/fitness journey started with talking to your doctor or something like that? I would probably just point out that exactly. That you've talked to your doctor about your weight/fitness and that he/she approved with your plan. I don't think there's anything else to be discussed beyond that.

I agree with sontakle, my question would have been, thin as compared to what? The mostly overweight population? I have been getting those comments more and more and I sm still a couple of pounds away from the upper range of a healthy BMI.

With so much media surrounding eating disorders maybe this is his way of communicating his concern to you. Sounds like how my dad communicates! Anyway, I would go with how you feel. If you feel healthy and fit and your doctor agrees then just give it time and he will eventually get used to the new you! Congratulations on your success!

It's funny but parents are critical either way. Either you are too fat or you are too skinny, or this or that. Well, mine are, especially my grandmother, so I know how feel in a way. You decide what's right for you as long as you are healthy and happy.

Great response!

*sigh*....i just wish somebody would tell me i'm too thin...

My grandmother DOESN'T want me to be thin or fit. She always says "Our side of the family are bound to pick up weight, the girls in our family are fat". It;s like she wants me to be fat, and when I do lose weight she never comments on it.

Also the other day my one friend said. "You should stop before you fall through your butt". I was like. WHAT? I'm not even in my normal BMI but "Im almost falling through my butt". When we're overweight they moan when we're thin they moan. I rest my case.

People are weird. I think especially our parents and grandparents. They were used to the way we were and that's how they know us. Maybe you should sit down and talk to your dad about this. Good luck ;)

"Thin" is one of those very subjective things.

melodymist I hope you don't mind my using your avatar as an example - it jumped out at me.

What do all of you think about the arm in melody's avatar? Is it thin, too thin, fit, unfit, etc.?

Our responses to thin/fat are also coloured by our experience of being overweight, yes? And the person/parent commenting on our weight also has their responses coloured by same.

Dagmar :dizzy:

Oh, I hear you on that.

Honestly, if it were me (and I'm thinking of my own family here) I wouldn't waste my breath.

The OP is happy with her weight and fitness level, her hubby thinks she is fine, so what's the problem? She may want to get a second opinion from her doctor, but other than that, she could take her dad's comment as a back-handed compliment.

Or ignore it altogether.

Hi fitmom, I had exactly the same thing when I first lost weight. People would tell me I was too thin and "not to lose any more." Sometimes I think it's just because it's not how they're used to seeing you. If your weight is in the healthy range, and you feel good, just stick to your guns and people will learn to live with it!

Agreed! My own brother pointed this out to me a couple of months ago. He also stated that we see so many people that are overweight that that is considered the norm. That those of us that are in the normal BMI category appear to be too thin.

Like! People will get used to it. As long as you, your husband and your doctor are fine with your weight, no one should even question it. I've had my fair share of comments too. I try to turn them into compliments in my head. :hug:

I really think that that that's true. I look at myself in the mirror now and I think that I look pretty normal but I'm still 25lbs overweight. I think a big part of that is that in reality I am pretty normal when it comes to others on the street but that doesn't mean that I'm at a healthy weight yet.

That's a really hard question to ask because we can only she her arm. People all carry weight differently so while her arm does appear to be pretty thin to me I don't have any perspective on the rest of her body. I also don't know her history.

I had a friend growing up that had almost identical stats to fitmom. She had a very small frame and her family is naturally VERY thin, very active. They eat well too but also a lot! I would never have considered her too thin because of that. Now, if I were to be the same weight as fitmom, I definitely think that I would be too thin and my family would have cause to worry! That's because I have a large frame, tend to be muscular and I come from a family that's prone to weight gain. I would have to be eating barely anything at all to maintain that weight.

A lot of this comes down to knowing the person, their history, their struggles etc. I have a friend who IS prone to disordered eating and when we used to live near each other, yeah, I'd watch what she ate because I knew her history and her struggles.

Fitmom, assuming your stats listed are correct (5'6" and 116lbs), you are right at the bottom edge of the "normal" BMI range. Of course as we know BMI is a population average and is not necessarily the best measurement for any given person, but it's the only thing we really have to go on. So at 116 you are still in the "normal" range, but if you were 114 you would be in the "underweight" range.

Take that for whatever it means to you. We can't judge whether you are "too thin" or not -- that is up to you and your doctor. As for your diet, IMO if you aren't happy with it, change it. If you are happy with it, leave it the way it is. Maintenance is all about experimenting with our diets and exercise regiments to find what works for us as individuals.