Becky, I look much better when I stand up straight too!

Neuro, have you considered just trying to increase your muscle mass rather than lose more weight? Sometimes getting bigger muscles will make the flabbier parts look less flabby.

I *think* the thyroid med change is working. Hard to tell, but my wrists and tailbone don't seem to hurt as much as they were and I've been less tired. Jury still out on the constipation.

Weight up a pound right now, probably because of TOM this week. This week is an "off" week from calorie counting for me. I was getting stressed out and it was time to take a break. Next week will be off too since I'll be out of town, but when I get back home I'll be back on track.

Hehe, not only do I look better when I stand up straight, I look better when I keep my head up. I wish there was something I could do for my (hereditary) turkey neck and extra rolls--which aren't fat, it's just the way I'm built. I've got to thank my Dad for that (as does my sister and brother).

I relost the half pound I gained over the weekend. Down a total of 4. Only 21 left to go. Yikes--still 21!

ICUWishing, yep I'm definitely a type-A overachieving perfectionist. Imagine being the only child of 2 -count-em, 2- "rocket scientists" for parents (actually nuclear physicists). I grew up into a neurologist after umpteen years of education. Is it nature or is it nurture? Undoubtedly both, but the bottom line is, I expect that I will always exceed expectations. When I don't, I'm a failure in my own eyes. Last February, after much of an adult lifetime spent being overweight and out of shape, I vowed to change my ways permanently. I think I've done that (well ok, not the permanently part- that will only be determined on my deathbed), but somehow my external shape doesn't match what my mental image of myself is, or "should" be. And this is tormenting me. Like when I used to study for 15 hours for an anatomy exam and only get a 92 ("honors" grades started at 93), all I can do is see the glass 1/10 empty, not 9/10 full. I don't claim that it's a good mindset to have, but I seem to be kind of stuck with it.

Jessica, that approach is exactly the one I've been following; I lift weights (and heavy- I can bench 85 pounds for 6-8 reps, and squat 140), do body-weight exercises including pullups, pistol squats and pushups, and am actually struggling with what I feel is an unattractive amount of upper-body muscle mass, all in an effort to increase my resting metabolic rate and make my remaining flab "look less flabby." It has worked, but only to a certain degree. Alas, my butt and upper thighs remain stubbornly quivery due to my inability to lose that last 5 pounds or so.

Anyway, I've been doing pretty well in the eating-on-plan department. Every day for a week, I've been at or under 1400 cal (woo-hoo) with no evening binges. Now if only the scale would start heading below 123 again, I'd be on my way.

I have dumb lower back pain which means no running for now (the impact can't possibly be good for it) and I probably can't eat as much. I started trying out yoga from Youtube videos in the mornings and I enjoy it. Eating is totally under control, though I am going through 4-5 whole fruits a day which is expensive. Work is awful and slow and I am dragging my heels to get through each day, but I haven't succumbed to eating my feelings yet nor do I intend to.

neurodoc I can definitely relate to your frustration with weight loss. I am very Type B but I have always had the good fortune/natural ability to excel at things without trying hard, so I feel like I probably have obnoxious impatience/entitlement issues when it comes to weight loss - "I didn't eat a whole cake today so I should lose 5 lbs a week" etc. Glad to hear the binges are gone. I haven't binged in almost 2 weeks and haven't wanted to, either.

alinnell Congrats on the half pound. Losing 4 is no laughing matter!

paperclippy I'm happy to hear the pain is less severe, hopefully the med changes will do you good. I keep seeing that adorable panda everywhere I go.

neurodoc, yeah, I have known others under that kind of pressure. I was under it to some extent myself, although I sometimes opted for rebellion instead of "living up to my potential." What a horrible concept that is.

And on top of it all, you're female.

Well--I hope you can learn to relax and enjoy life more. It's not about perfection or performance, ultimately.

Jay

neuro - I definitely get the mindset you're in. Is this the first goal you've set that you haven't reached in the intended timeframe? Like Jay says, biology's a b*tch and those little genes just don't respond to logic! There's nothing that's not supposed to be achievable with hard work and brains - that's what the parents and society and mentors have drilled into us. I'm guessing your perfectionism doesn't extend to friends and family. What would you tell a friend who had your similar stats, food and exercise plan, and was obsessing over a final tiny improvement that was looks-based, and not related to health and strength? Would you berate them for weakness, or tell them it's okay to be depressed about their "failure"? That exercise was given to me by somebody else a long time ago, and it's helped me break some unproductive, negative habits, and also to get out-of-the-box to come up with a more helpful approach than just beating the crap out of myself. Stress can kill even more efficiently than obesity!

krampus - sorry about the work stress; I'm familiar with the dragging-thru-the-day. Good job keeping your appetite separated from it!

Busy on the new job, learning the systems and rules, getting computer/phone/cell/passwords all set up. Weight just plain holding steady on the ticker. I did just get a neat email, however - my new employer has a contest in June for walking distance. Walk 20 miles (verified by HR-distributed pedometer) and get a paid day off. Get to 50 miles by the end of the month, and get 2 days off. I am so totally IN!!!!

I've lost half a pound this week, just by consciously and consistently making better choices. The slide won't move, but I can tweak my profile. I'm relaxing also, now that the job change is a done deal and I'm getting into the groove. This weekend we're visiting friends who aren't quite as much into the fresh-foods way of thinking - last time we saw them it was a lot of processed/convenience foods. All I can do is my best.

Went to a wonderful gala last night and while I don't feel that I overate, I did eat a couple things that weren't on my plan (but couldn't pass up--one was a delicious sorbet trio). I also drank wine which I've avoided all week. So I'm up 2 pounds today, but I'm sure it'll be gone, gone, gone by Sunday at the latest.

Hahaha, if I could run into my smarmy "I don't even LIKE junk food" self from a few days ago I would sit on her and probably literally crush her to death. Just when you think you're getting better, BAM. Binged all weekend long and now I feel disgusting and my weight is way up.

The horrible irony is that I was upset and frustrated about constipation, which led to the onset of binging. Since that started I have "gone" twice.

Wow. I'm 7 pounds down after just a little over two weeks. I think I'll do this for another 6 weeks and then take it from there.

Small blip (1#) from the weekend frivolities; it's already off. I'm beginning to realize just how much stress I was under at my old job. I had forgotten what it's like to just relax! My neck and skull base are making all sorts of creaky noises and metallic snaps as my shoulder muscles FINALLY begin to let go. It's a bit creepy, but it feels spectacular. Hard to believe that one could be tense even in sleep!

krampus - rein it in! You've found your way back from this before. It's kind of amusing that a binge "unblocked" you, though - did you eat something weird or different? Fatty stuff?

allison - that's fabulous news! I can't even imagine a drop like that. It sounds like the experiment is working!

to the lurkers!

Krampus, that has happened to me more often than I can recall, and it's not a huge mystery- increase total food volume, fat and sugar by like 300% and it's pretty easy to "jumpstart" your system. Did you ever give the colace (docusate sodium) a try?

Alinnell, that's terrific; I'm jealous. I have been yo-yo-ing the same 2-3 pounds for 4 months now, and thinking more and more of doing something totally different to move past my rut. You're obviously happy with Medifast and I am very tempted, though the cost is high, to try it for a month too.

I haven't binged in several weeks now, but also not eating consistently enough under 1400 to sustain weight loss. I am also preoccupied with work and family life issues more than I was in the fall and winter, and hence less focused on diet and exercise. I still work out 4-5 days/week, but most workouts are 45 min. now instead of an hour which I'm sure isn't helping. I have a goal of more "incidental movement" during the day (getting up from my desk and walking around; parking farther away, taking more stairs, etc) but so far I'm finding that there aren't many opportunities to do these things in ways that don't detract seriously from my work day. Do any of you try to incorporate that kind of physical activity?

139 to 130.5 in 3 days. I cannot take this for granted. Back to eating clean. I'm quite motivated this week; going to Osaka with a bunch of friends I haven't seen in ages for the weekend. And then after that I have to look and feel my best for...oh crap, 9 more weekends and then I'll be back in America. I can't believe it.

I have started to do beginner level Ashtanga yoga videos in the mornings and since my back pain is better I am running again. It feels good to be back into the swing of things as far as exercise goes.

neurodoc I haven't tried colace; to be honest I wouldn't know how to go about finding it here. I do have my Metamucil-type supplements when the going gets tough. Glad to hear you're not binging anymore. As for "incidental movement" that's a tough one. Can you take walks on lunch break?

ICUwishing thanks for the words of encouragement! I'm happy to hear you're feeling so much more relaxed with the new job.

alinnell 7 lbs in 2 weeks is great, if that's not excellent encouragement I don't know what is.

I think if you look at it from the perspective that besides this food, all you need to have on hand is some veggies and lean protein, it really isn't any more expensive than buying food at the grocery store. I still have to get regular food for DS and am spending about far, far less at the grocery store.

And I don't necessarily have to cook different meals for him. His breakfast is always the same (1/2 cantaloupe, frozen breakfast burrito and two toaster strudels with OJ). He eats lunch at school and he eats the same lean and green meal as us for dinner (although I will fix him chicken if we're doing fish).

DS11 is driving me to drink. Well, OK, that's not totally the truth, as he doesn't have that kind of leverage. He lost his privileges to electronic entertainments (PS3, iPod, TV, non-academic computer usage) due to zeros on class assignments and abominably poor grades (less than 80). The kid has these wild swings from A's to ... NOTHING. He's in 6th grade - it's not like they're grading on perfection, they just want the work attempted with some resemblance of creative thought and focused attention. Editing and rewrites and filling in the blanks are the order of the day - almost any assignment gets a second chance to make it truly right.

I don't get it. Coaxing, encouraging, rewards, even bribery have not made a dent. He does it when he feels like doing it, and it seems that no force of nature (or Mom) can make him feel like doing it when he doesn't want to. So, I told him that I thought the next order of business was to remove distractions and free up more time so that he might have a better chance of "feeling" like he wants to do his work.

Ideas? This is a sensitive, creative, compassionate and scary-smart kid being raised by coldly logical engineers who simply do things that have to be done, and don't think twice about not doing our best on stuff, cuz that's just the way it's done. I don't want to kill his magnificent spirit, but I also don't want him living in my basement when he's 35.