On one of the episodes I heard today, she said that binging has nothing to do with the food. Which I guess I've always kind of known, but she went onto say that it's about not loving yourself and punishing yourself.
I'm having a hard time with this one. I mean yes in ways I suppose I don't love myself and there are those issues I mentioned earlier about my mom, but in general I have pretty good confidence. Sure the saggy skin bugs me quite a bit but I find it kind of hard to believe this would cause binging or that I would punish myself for it. But it certainly is possible.
So the idea is all about self acceptence. I've already been working on this a bit, I mean I have a lot to be thankful for when it comes to my life, my family and my body and accepting it may be key.
Anyway I just wanted to write those thoughts down before I forgot, because I tend to have revelations durning an episode and then forget about them later.
On one of the episodes I heard today, she said that binging has nothing to do with the food. Which I guess I've always kind of known, but she went onto say that it's about not loving yourself and punishing yourself. .
Another way to look at it is this. What is the gift that binging is giving you? For me it was about soothing and comforting myself after a hard day. This is a hard habit to break because it worked for me for so long. But over time they have lessened somewhat with the idea of the DIF.
[QUOTE=ncuneo;3770359]So the idea is all about self acceptence. I've already been working on this a bit, I mean I have a lot to be thankful for when it comes to my life, my family and my body and accepting it may be key.
/QUOTE]
This is the most important concept. Have you gotten to episodes 36-38 yet? I think that they are powerful. I literally cry like a baby every time I listen to one of them--I can't remember which one but they are really good.
Well, what a day I've had so far!
The weather here in the UK has been gorgeous so far this week, clear blue skies, bright sunshine and yesterday and today has been much warmer than we've had for months, it's just heaven. So this morning I was torn, should I got to the gym as usual for my treadmill run, or take myself outside and actually RUN the errands I needed to? Didn't get off to a great start because I found my Garmin was flat (should have known, haven't used it for 3 months ) so plugged it in to charge while I took DD to school. I kept thinking of reasons why maybe it wouldn't be such a good idea, in particular the fact I've not run with a backpack before, only my fanny pack. Anyway, I decided that I'd set off, give it a go with the run, and worst case scenario I'd walk it. Really had no idea of the distance involved but off I went.
I had THE best run ever!!! Stopped my watch the three times I had to stop to run the errands, but other than that I ran the whole time, and even kept up my pace on the hills which I've NEVER been able to do before. I even pushed myself to speed up a few times just to prove I could. When I got near home I was getting close to 10k, so I carried on running to the playing fields at the bottom of our road and kept running til I hit the 10k lol. And when I got home and uploaded the info from my Garmin I found I'd actually done the 10k in the same time as my fastest time on the treadmill, hills and all!!! And I found the high I've been missing in my runs for sometime, so think I may have to try to get outside more often now. Only downside was my backpack rubbed my neck because it's not a specific running backpack and doesn't have any straps around the waist, so it was bouncing and causing friction the whole way, but it wasn't too bad. And I guess it's an excuse to look for a running backpack lol.
Then I took my lunch outside and sat in the sun and listened to a couple more podcasts, more on the re-do and then the first on self-correcting.
Unless something drastic happens during the rest of my day, I have no worries about binging today. I am so proud of myself today, there is no way I'm doing anything to ruin it!
Ncuneo, I feel the same about the binges, can't get my head around them being because I don't love myself or because I'm punishing myself. Binging for me has always been about the food making me feel full and loved and content for that short space of time. The punishment has come later when I've been full of guilt etc and trying to repair the damage. I can understand binging giving me a gift, the love, comfort etc that I'm missing though. Guess we'll just have to keep listening and see if digging deeper helps.
Losermum - What is the DIF please? Is it something coming up in the podcasts? I'm really working on just lessening the frequency and severity of the binges in the first place because right now I find it impossible to believe I'll never binge again. I'm looking forward to getting to the episodes you talk about, but have a way to go yet I'm afraid.
Yes there is an episode on the DIF (Decrease the Intensity and Frequency) I can't remember what episode it is.
I guess I could say that the gift binges give me is a reward and release for being so "good" and on plan all week. It isn't that I don't enjoy eating on plan, I really truely do, but I still really enjoy "real" ice cream and cheesecake and whatever and the weekends is when it's "allowed". So I have to eat as much of it as I can because come Monday...So I realize I need to work on this mentality a bit and I am, especially with not counting on the weekends and just eating in a way that makes me feel good and if they include foods that I would consider "off plan" durning the week then so be it. BUT the idea is to consume them as a "naturally thin" person would and not shove as much into my face as possible.
It is also a stress release. A good binge episode does give me a physical sensation of relaxation after it's over and I've been anxious. I know that that is an actual physical thing that happens in the body. So reducing stress/anxiety with breathing and meditation is helping as well as using all the other techiques she describes such as the "pre-do" and other visualization about how to react to situations involving food.
I think I'm around episode 33 so I'll be coming up on those episodes probably today. Gosh I hope I don't cry as I listen at work! I have found myself having to hold back durning several episodes.
Loving me - so glad to hear you are having such a wonderful day!
As for me, all is well today. I forgot half my lunch so that was a bit of a issue. Of course it was the entre portion of my meal, I actually considered just toughing it out and going hungry but instead decided to run to the store. I walked around the store and really wanted to get a super carby sandwich, but decided just to get a Kashi Frozen Entre which is what I had planned for today anyway. I got home late last night and had left overs and had no time to prepare lunch for today and Kashi is my go to in a pinch.
I'm a little concerned about dinner tonight. We usually plan our dinners in advanced and this week has been a little off. Which is no big deal, it's happened before and we usually just defrost chicken and make something that works for everyone, but I've been just exhausted lately and I'm having one of those days where I have absolutely no desire to cook. So I'm worried DH will talk me into going out. But as long as I do what I know to do it will be fine. Not to mention since I didn't binge this weekend I'm slipping into the low end of my maintenace range, which I'm trying not to see as an occassion to make poor decisions.
So anyway, hope everyone's day ends well - talk to you soon!
I think something truly amazing happened tonight. I finished dinner and it was time for dessert. Typically I have a skinny cow or weight watchers ice cream. Well tonight I really wanted some of the real ice cream I had decided not to eat over the weekend. At first I said no, it's a weekday. Then I started thinking gosh, I really am craving this and I know a "healthy" substitute just isn't going to cut it and I'll be resentful and unsatisfied by it. So I said ok, I'll have a serving. So I went to weigh it, but it was too hard to scoop so the only way to eat it was straight from the pint. So I said ok, I'm going to eat just the top layer, which would be less that a serving and I am going to be satisfied with that amount and stop...and I did! Not only did I stop easily but I was truly satisfied with this amount. So that was a practice round. Just as it's easy not to binge during the week it's also easy to practice some restraint. So I want to carry these behaviors into my weekends as well and with today's practice I feel that I CAN, no I WILL!
That's an amazing step forward Ncuneo!! I'm so proud of you!
I've been really trying to listen to my body and cravings since starting to listen to the podcasts and I really think it's working. I ask myself if I'm really hungry and, if so, what for. Then depending on the answers I go from there, and so far it seems to be going well. My weight is stable, well actually still dropping slowly, and I'm feeling more satisfied and calmer about my eating.
I still can't help worrying that it's just a blip due to one of many possibilities, but I'm just trying to go with it for now.
Yes there is an episode on the DIF (Decrease the Intensity and Frequency) I can't remember what episode it is.
I believe that it is Duration Intensity and Frequency. And the idea is that we will decrease the DIF over time. Most of my "binges" look more like overeating episodes now.
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Originally Posted by ncuneo
Losermom, have you purchased any of her guided journeys?
No, I'm too much of a cheapo. But I do think that I would consider it in the future if I am feeling desperate about things.
The punishment has come later when I've been full of guilt etc and trying to repair the damage.
Maybe we need to look at what gift the guilty feelings over overeating is giving us. Do we not trust ourselves enough to get back on track immediately? I too really struggle on the weekends. But it used to be every weekend. Now it's about half the weekends.
Morning ladies! I'm feeling truly amazing this morning! For the first time, maybe ever, I'm actually looking forward to the weekend and excited about what progress I'll make as opposed to dreading it!
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I believe that it is Duration Intensity and Frequency. And the idea is that we will decrease the DIF over time.
Opps! This is why it's hard to listen at work, my full focus isn't on what I'm hearing 100%, but I think that's ok because clearly some of it's make it through and it will give me a good excuse to listen to them all again!
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Most of my "binges" look more like overeating episodes now.
This is my hope, I can handle overeating. I want to finally break the binge -feel bad - punish with deprevation cycle and I think I'm moving in that direction. Deep down I think I also want to stop calorie counting for good, but right now that is not quite in reach and just doing it on the weekends is working quite well. And maybe that's enough, maybe I need that little bit of certainty to keep me in check, I don't know. I think there is a lot of other stuff for me to work through before I get there.
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I'm feeling more satisfied and calmer about my eating.
This is wonderful and pretty much my mantra everyday. I want to be calm, at peace, satisfied and in balance and I feel like I am really strating to achieve that.
I'm all over the place this morning, sorry about that, but I just wanted to check in as my day started and write about these feeling so that I can remember them and use them moving forward! Have a great day girls!
Ncuneo and losermom, hope you're both ok, happy Friday!
Things here are still going well, although I didn't manage to listen to any of the podcasts yesterday. I did eat more than planned yesterday, but was mindful of everything and made sure to really enjoy it and there was no guilt involved.
If, as a result of listening to the podcasts and doing the work involved I can not binge and instead just overeat at times I would be absolutely ecstatic. Overeating for me doesn't have the same emotional effect that binging does, the disgust, guilt, despair, so it sounds like the DIF is going to be just what I need.
Today however is going to be hard.... I am at home alone all day today, chores to do, and then I'm going on the first girls night out I've been on in longer than I can remember. We are going for a meal then drinks and although I'm really excited, getting dressed up, feeling good about myself and the way I look, I'm also scared. We will not be eating til 7.30pm tonight and usually I eat dinner at around 6.30pm, so know I'm going to be hungrier than usual. Then because I'm home all day, even though I have chores to do, the food is calling to me and I seem to feel hungrier than ever. I know I need to make sure I eat the most filling foods for my buck today to see me through til dinner. Went to assembly at DD's school this morning, after which there is always coffee and biscuits. I made a deal with myself beforehand that if the biscuits were chocolate I would allow myself one, if not I would pass. Thank goodness they were plain and I could pass one up without too much difficulty, so that's one hurdle overcome so far. I know I will overeat at the meal tonight, it's a buffet and a given, but I'm going to try to do what I did last time I visited a buffet about a month ago for my mum's birthday celebration. Small portions of my favourite choices, eat slowly, and enjoy every mouthful, and try not to focus as much on the food, more on the company. I succeeded really well last time, so I'm hoping tonight I can do the same.
Ncuneo, I'm lucky in that I didn't calorie count to lose my weight, and can imagine it must be stressful for you NOT doing it. I'm still the same about adding in the snacks I have recently, it freaks me out a little thinking, oh, am I eating too much now, but I'm really trying to learn to listen to my body, my hunger signals, cravings etc, then sort of discuss it in my head before I eat and what I'm going to eat that will be best for me, and so far it really seems to be working. I would probably keep going with the weekends of no counting for another month or so, make sure you're happy with how things are going and feel confident with what you're doing, then add another day of not counting for a while, and go from there.
Going to go do a couple more chores before I have lunch, my stomach is growling but trying to delay it a bit longer by telling myself I'll be able to eat soon enough.
If I don't get chance to check in again later, I hope to be able to post tomorrow that today was a successful challenge.
I'm not sure you'll get this before your evening out, but I just wanted to suggest visualizing your evening before you go. I mean literally visual the meal and how you want to behave during it. Then allow yourself to go into autopilot during the meal, because you've already done it in your head, and just enjoy the company of your friends and not focus on the food so much. If it helps you can visualize during the meal too. So for example, some thing I've tried is said ok, I would like to take 3 more bits and be satisfied and finished with my meal. And shockingly this has really worked for me. The main thing for me is visualizing being satisfied. Be sure that everything is stated in the positive. So don't say I DON'T want to overeat say I am or will be satisfied with a moderate amount. I will feel good at the end of the meal.
I'll check back later, busy day at work to get to, but I hope your evening goes successfully - I know you can do it!
Just checking in. I'm having a little trouble feeling satisfied today. I has having this problem yesterday afternoon as well and I just kinda white knuckled through it. Before the gym though I realized that I was truely hungry so I actually stopped to get a pre workout snack. This is something I never do, but I knew if I didn't my work out would have suffered and I would have been weak and light headed. It didn't derail me or send me spiraling into overeating the rest of the day and I was proud of myself for eating for the right reasons. The rest of the evening went well and I'm happy to report that my weight is back to the middle of my range this morning, even though official weigh in isn't til tomorrow. I haven't been in the middle of my range for probably 6 weeks or so.
Today I just had my lunch and I'm having that unsatisfied feeling again. So I'm just trying to tell myself that snack time is soon enough and that it can take 20 mins for the brain to tell the stomach it's full and I'm practicing some visualization of being satisfied. It's making my quite nervous though as it is Friday, the official start of the weekend and DH work overnight on Friday so it will just be me and DS tonight. So I'm just remembering all the success I had last weekend and doing everything I've been doing all week and it's calming me down a little bit. I'm also trying to recapture the confidence and excitment I had about the weekend yesterday.
I'm also realizing that unsatisfied hungry at work is simply due to being bored. I have a busy job, but my tasks can be monotonous at times. When I'm not bored I rarely feel hungry at work, but I'm often bored. I think this is the trouble at home too.
So just plugging along, trying to think positively about the weekend, hope your girls night went well!
So more progress tonight. I was mid over snacking/over eating and I could feel it turning into a binge. I was at that point where no damage had be done yet, I had simply eaten slightly off plan, no big deal, but I wanted more and was having major urges to binge. So I stopped myself and talked myself through it and envisioned how I wanted the episode to end, and kept telling myself I am satisfied. At first it wasn't working, and then after about a 1/2 hour of white knuckling it something came over me and I really did feel satisfied and the urge passed! This is major progress for me, I don't think I have ever been able to do this before. Usually when the urge is that strong I just give in. In IOWL terms I immediatly self corrected. Given how intense the urge was it would have been a bad binge too. So now I'm going to watch biggest loser which will float me through my evening and go to bed. Tomorrow I hope will be as successful as today and am looking forward to another non counting Saturday.
Well done on overcoming the urge to binge Ncuneo, can you please send me some good vibes, I really need them.
Last night went really well actually, and today was doing ok, but have overeaten a bit and am really white knuckling the urge for a huge binge right now. At this moment in time I would say that I'm 70% likely to binge and 30% to overcome it....
I keep telling myself I'm satisfied, I've eaten enough, and I truthfully am not hungry right now, but it's my mouth that wants the food, sugar and lots of it. I'm trying desparately to rebalance and focus on how well I've been doing, but I'm really scared and I'm feeling terrible anxiety...
I am calm, I am satisfied, can't even remember anything else from the podcasts right now, seems I'm hit shut off point...
Have you gotten to episodes 36-38 yet? I think that they are powerful. I literally cry like a baby every time I listen to one of them--I can't remember which one but they are really good.
) so plugged it in to charge while I took DD to school. I kept thinking of reasons why maybe it wouldn't be such a good idea, in particular the fact I've not run with a backpack before, only my fanny pack. Anyway, I decided that I'd set off, give it a go with the run, and worst case scenario I'd walk it. Really had no idea of the distance involved but off I went.
