I'm a little frustrated that I can't get the podcasts into Itunes for some reason, so can't listen to them while exercising or before bed etc, and am tied to listening to them on the pc which isn't ideal.
I've listened to numbers 2, 3 & 4 today and at one point was feeling like they really weren't for me because I just kept thinking, I'm already there with the weight loss and I can't dream my dream because I'm never going to reach the dream I dreamt way back of the perfect body etc due to all the skin. But I persevered and got to the bit about something holding you back. Rather than thinking of it as holding me back from losing the weight in the first place I thought, what is holding me back from maintaining more easily, what is inside me making me want to binge. I visualised a clear empty ball inside my body, and this clear empty ball was telling me that it wants me to binge because binging fills up that emptiness.
So I guess I need to work on helping that ball fill up with something else instead of food? And as for the podcasts, I'm going to keep listening as and when I can and take what I can use to help me. I actually feel like I'm entering a new phase of maintenance with this right now, so let's see what happens.
Please keep going! I had the same reservations, but if you apply the concepts to maintenance as you are I think you'll have some major revalations.
At home I was able to download and save each file individually, then import them into my iTunes library. At work it doesn't seem to work the same way though, that's where I listen. At work when I download it just goes to my default windows media player. You can purchase them from iTunes, but it looks a little pricey.
My problem is that I'm listening at work, so I'm not totally focused, but I think I'm picking up quite a bit and hopefully my subconscious is getting the rest
ETA: I think I'll go back and relisten to the pertinant ones over the weekend (when the binges are hardest for me), and probably do it after DS is asleep, kinda like a meditation.
I also wanted to add, that I've always been so resistive to the mental work of weight loss and maintenance. I've kinda felt that it shouldn't be so much hard work, and I shouldn't have to do so much self reflection. Like there'd be something wrong with me if I did. Kind of my same resistance to therapy. Partially fear, partially not wanting to put in the effort. But you know there really isn't anything wrong with me if I have to put a lot of effort into not binging or maintaining my weight. So what I'm not "naturally" thin or I don't "naturally" not overeat. We're all different, and this is just me and I have to deal with it the way that work best for me. So if I have to meditate about it or really concentrate on strategies that work for me to not binge then that's ok. Otherwise I can just carry, oh why me? why is this so hard? why don't I have control? There is another way, but it's going to take work.
Thanks Ncuneo! Just asked DH for help and he has shown me what to do to get them in my Itunes Library, so now in the process of downloading some. Are you listening to them in order or picking out the ones that seem most appropriate or interesting to you and listening to them in whatever order you choose?
I was going to pick the ones that most interested me, but decided just to go in order. It seems to be a bit of a process and I'm finding things helpful in episodes I wouldn't have otherwise listened to.
Your comment about your skin, which is a HUGE issue for me as well, reminded me of a story she tells in a later episode that I think you'll find very helpful. The general point is that she was completely uncomfortable and miserable in her "great shape" body while someone else was completely content and at peace in their completely non perfect overweight body. Point being, learn to love you're body, because we can slave away yearning for perfection and it may never be "good enough". She tells it much better that I just did but I hope her message helps you as much as I hope it helps me. I exercise everyday and when I'm at the gym I often don't feel "good enough" and I often hope to win the lottery so I can get that tummy tuck. But that's just not the point.
Thanks for the Ncuneo. I've downloaded about 20 now that interest me onto my Iphone to listen to. I hope they help me as well, especially about learning to love my body as it is now. Are you working backwards with them then from the most recent, as I know you said in an early post you listened to the ones about Self Correction and I've seen they're recent ones.
No, I started at the Episode 0 - the prologue. It appears as if she starts to revisit concepts and expand further on them, which is why I wanted to start at the begining and build. I think the one with the story about body issues is around episode 13.
I see a lot of overlap with "The Secret". I loved the secret, but found it hard to remember to keep doing it. It's amazing what a change positive thought can make in the outcome of events in your life and how you deal with them. For example, I'm no longer thinking, I won't binge this week or I don't want to binge this weekend. I'm thinking I will eat well and I will eat when I'm hungry and I will eat what I want and I will be at peace with food.
So I'm just plugging my way through all of them. I have a desk job, so it's easy to listen while I'm working.
I listened to episode 5 before bed last night and 6 when I woke early this morning. Think I'm going to keep going in order for now as well and see how it goes.
So hungry today and that little empty ball was telling me it would be ok to eat and eat and eat. I actually had a slightly larger breakfast than normal but I stopped it there thankfully. Needed a snack before the gym so made myself carrot sticks and a little low fat houmous, and told that ball, look ball, you want me to be full and have some comfort, and you want crunchy food, so we're having carrot sticks and houmous, double whammy! That little ball seems quite happy for now!
So I'm trying to "pre-do" tonight and my weekend and I'm having all this anxiety. What if I can't do it, what if I don't want to, what if scale keeps creeping up (although I know that's completely TOM related right now). And then I remembered DIF. This point isn't to cure myself it's to decrease the intensity and frequency. So I'm just breathing and repeating to myself - I am at peace, I will eat well, I am happy and healthy. I'm visualizing things I need to do this evening that don't envolve eating and how I'll handle the things that do. I'm also remembering how good it feels to wake up or go to sleep having not binged.
I'm so with you there Ncuneo!
TOM is due next week for me and I've been SO hungry and craving junk all week. Plus the scale is creeping as well and even though I'm trying to stay calm part of me wants to panic. I've been having one or two snacks each day during the week this past couple of weeks in the hope that being a little less restrictive during the week will help keep the binges at bay at the weekend, and I keep telling myself that I weigh less today than I did this time last month and so if I can just stay strong I can get through it and maybe even have a whoosh back to my low next week, but I'm struggling. This little voice keeps smirking at me and telling me that the scale is creeping because of the snacks...
I'm not up to where you are with the podcasts, but already try to pre-plan my weekends in a way. For me right now even though I know I need to change the words and focus from "I will not binge" I can't seem to do it. The weekends really frighten me because they're the only times when I've given into the binges.
So for now I'm just trying to get through each day, one day at a time.
The weekends really frighten me because they're the only times when I've given into the binges.
Yep me too. The other problem for me right now is the anxiety. I suffer from panic attacks and they are a problem for me right now. Stress or sadness don't really make me want to eat, but anxiety does. I was handling the food anxiety ok, but then a co-worker of mine started telling me about this big prediction for a massive earthquake on the west coast within the next week. No big deal right? Well, I live on the west coast, southern California to be exact, and I have a ridiculous fear of earthquakes. Now that I'm a mom it's even worse, and worse than that, my DH is taking my DS to hockey game this weekend out of town and over night and it will be the first time that we've been that far apart since he was born. So needless to say I've been having panic attacks all morning. Add to that my fears of binging over the weekend and I'm a mess today. So I'm just trying to calm down, breathe and take it a meal at a time. I'm about to get started listening to the next episode, I hope her words can bring me some peace.
I can't believe what a mental mess I am right now...such is life I suppose. I really need to just release it all to the powers that be and relax. Positive thoughts! I am happy and healthy, I will eat well and my family will be safe.
I'm sorry you're having to deal with so much anxiety at the moment Ncuneo (hugs). Just take it one hour at a time, no more than that, you can do this I know you can.
I've fought all day so far today not to give in and binge and everytime I'm about to crack I just tell myself I can wait another hour. DH should be home in about an hour and hopefully that will put a stop to the thoughts for today, but come tomorrow I know it will be the same again...
I'm not sure if you've gotten to the episodes about limiting beliefs yet, but the belief that the struggle will be there tomorrow is one of those. Yes, the struggle will be there tomorrow, but you can handle it just as you've done today. May skip ahead to those episodes and give them a listen. I've listened to a few episodes that deal with limiting beliefs today and it has made me realize a lot about myself, how I view maintenance and just a slue of other things. I know that I need to change my thinking in order to succeed. I'm feeling much calmer now and I am just trying to hold onto that peace.
One of my major limiting beliefs is that I cannot succeed at maintenance without calorie counting. While I'm not sure I'm ready to through calorie counting at the window just yet, I didn't count last Sunday and I did amazing. So I'm going to give it a try again this Sunday and probably Saturday as well. I'm even toying with doing it tonight for dinner. I'm making "healthy" Tailapia nachos tonight in an effort to find foods my DS will eat (that a whole other anxiety issue for me, he is a horrifically picky eater and does not gravitate towards the foods I would like him to). Anyway he likes rice and tortilla chips, so I'm going to health food store to find a healthy way to make nachos that we can share. I'm having a little anxiety about preparing a portion for myself that "fits" into my desired range. Well if I go over a few hundred cals on my day because of it what does it really matter? Well my limiting belief says it matters because I'm going to binge this weekend and I need to save up the cals "just in case". But my self correcting positive thought should be, I will eat well this weekend, I will make good decisions and eating a little extra tonight so that I can eat with my son and teach him good eating habits is not a big deal.
Wow, I'm feeling better already. Loving me, I know that you can do this, I know that you can change your thinking into believing that you will behave in a way that makes you proud, that is not a struggle for you. I know that in time, with a little work it will get easier, we just have to believe it.
So I've just about made it through today. I made it through dinner really well, but making it through my evening snack was really hard. I just kept visualizing how I wanted to behave and telling myself I was at peace. I also remembered what you said, that if my evening snack didn't satisfy me nothing would. So I'm watching biggest loser before bed and I just keep telling myself that nothing but a binge is going to satisfy me so why bother. I'm trying to find a positive thought, but right now the fact that I'm having the urge to binge is pissing me off.
I don't know why I want to binge exactly. I know I was anxious today and I'm tired now. I guess I just need to replace the thought that I can't make it through the rest of the night with the visions of me watching BL and going to bed binge free, followed by waking up in the morning proud that I did what I wanted to. I'm starting to babble now and you're probably about to get up and start your next challenging day, I think we're about 9 hours apart. Anyway, best of luck on your Saturday. Just visual how you want your day to go and how you want to behave. Right now I'm on episode 24 I think, the ones about plateaus which don't interest me as much and I want to skip ahead, but I'm trying to stick with it. I saw a bunch of episodes coming up about self acceptance though that I'm pretty excited about. Ok that it for me tonight. I guess the best thing I can say is that its officially been one week since my last binge.
I'm only up to episode 7 so am way behind you unfortunately. I really struggle for time on a weekend when it's possible for me to listen to them, but will keep persevering as I know that even just listening to them is helping me stay more focused than I would be this weekend. But I definitely have a limiting belief that each day is going to be a struggle not to binge, and I need to instead focus on the fact that if I can get through one day I can get through the next just the same.
I guess I'm lucky in that I lost all my weight without calorie counting, so it's one issue I don't have to deal with, but I can imagine how much of a struggle it must be. I think you're doing wonderfully so far though experimenting a bit at a time with the not counting, and I'm sure you'll get there.
I'm so happy to read that you made it through most of Friday. Don't beat yourself up about having the urge to binge, it's something we're going to have to learn to live with til with find the tools we need. I struggled all yesterday because I was so hungry. I made it to dinnertime when we had friends round and I ate more than I had planned, but didn't stuff my face. Afterwards though I just couldn't handle the chocolate cravings anymore and I went and had two chocolates out of sight of them in the kitchen, which I felt bad about, BUT I'm really proud that I stopped it there and didn't let it turn into a binge.
And I'm even happier to report that the number on the scale this morning is the same as yesterday which is a great result from Friday to Saturday compared to usual. I have now gone 12 days without a binge, which I'm so happy about, and if I can get through the next 2 days I will have gone the longest without a binge since I hit goal. I have a meal plan in place and have my evening treat planned, and as long as I keep focusing on that I think I can make it through. Going to try to keep busy and if I get desparate try to find the time to listen to another podcast. I'm also going to focus on how good it felt to get up this morning knowing I made it through yesterday and be able to put on some new pants and feel fab when we went into town to run some errands!
I think you're probably right about us being about 9hrs apart, so you will be starting your Saturday soon. You can get through a Saturday without binging, I know you can, just do what you told me to do, concentrate on the positives every single minute.
Hanging tight today. Glad to her you're doing well. I finished successfully yesterday and today I'm just visualizing how I want the day to go. I'm having this general anxiety I just can't shake. I don't know if it's the fear of failing at this or if it's succeeding. Do you ever worry that if you succeed you'll start losing again? I do. I know that my weekday cals are sort of set up to give me a cushion for over eating and binging on the weekends. I guess I cross that bridge later. I don't think it will be a very big issue.
So today is a non counting day and it's gone well. I've put myself in some tempting situations but by using the visualization techniques and positive thought I've behaved/eaten appropriately. At one point my son was eating cheese and crackers and I wanted one. Knowing that would be a trigger I did it anyway but as I was enjoying it I visualized being satisfied with just that one and stopping and I did. It's only mid day so the most challenging part of the day is still to come. But just taking hour by hour.
I think the hardest part of all of this is how much work it is. It is a lot of work to be mindful and aware of how you're feeling about every bite and whether or not you're eating appropriately, but it really worked last night. I have to believe that it will get easier over time and will become like many of the other tools I use to lead a healthy life. Hope the rest of you day went well.
