In the effort of finding ways to not be resentful of the fact that I have to make my food decisions a priority in my life and I have to think about everything that goes into my mouth, and that weight maintenance is always on my mind, I love to start of list of things that we don't have to do that less "food challenged" people do. I'm sure this varies from individual to individual as we all have different strengths in life, but none the less I need some positivity today!
Can you give an example? Might be cause english is my second language im not sure what you mean exactly
But at the end of the day, I used to feel it was unfair how I had to eat healthy and exercise everyday to maintain my weight when most people I know and the rest of my family didnt, but now I dont anymore. I am healthy, I hav ean awesome heart rate, I am a killer body and I am proud to say that I WORKED for it and its awesome. ANd Ill live longer and healthier YEAH
It may be a blessing in disguise. We're always aware of what we're doing to our bodies, good and bad. This consciousness leads to a long, vivacious life. (as long as the good outweighs the bad!)
When it comes to my weight and weight loss, I've been able to virtually live resentment-free (except during TOM - but I resent just about everything those few days a month).
For me it was about changing the way I looked at what I was doing.
I don't "resent" having to brush my teeth (even though some people don't). My grandfather never saw a dentist, never flossed or even brushed, and yet never lost a single tooth (his teeth weren't even yellow and his breath was never terrible - almost makes you believe in the tooth fairy). Could I whine about how unfair it is that I have to brush and floss every day, and still have dental problems? Of course, but it would be silly. The situation isn't really fair or unfair - it just is.
Also, I stopped looking at weight loss strategies as punishment. Of course it feels unfair when you see them as punishments, but when you see them as neutral or even better yet - ways to pamper your wonderful self, there's no resentment because you're the lucky one.
For years I envied people who had the money and time to go to expensive and exotic weight loss spa resorts. Finally I realized I could duplicate the spa experience, just by seeing it that way. Choosing low-calorie and calorie burning indulgences and adventures.
For example, I stopped doing exercises that I hated and thought were boring. Instead I found ways to move that I found fun (even if they were unpleasant). I bought a bike, even though with my health status it was probably a bone-head move. I still can't ride it very often or very long, but I feel like a kid again when I do get on it (literally, I almost think I need training wheels).
I swim because I love it (even though I have to swim in a warm-water therapy pool and it costs me $5 every time). I have always loved swimming, and it's never felt like awful exercise, it always felt like freedom - because I can do things in the water that I can't dream of on land.
I use my MP3 player to dance (I'm obsessed with Irish and Scottish music).
I want to buy a Wii, because I always work up a sweat when I play with my sister when I visit her.
Hubby and I occasionally geocache. It's like a high tech treasure hunt, you use a gps unit to find hidden caches (usually consisting of random cheap trinkets and a sign the log (some caches have no treasure, just the log). If you do take a trinket, you leave something of equal or greater value, and you leave the cache exactly where you found it.
I hate walking just to be walking - but I'll really push myself to find the treasure - even though it's a treasure only in the eyes of five-year olds and geocachers.
I also look at my eating as self-pampering. I don't dwell on what I'm taking away as much as what I'm adding. I splurge on exotic low-calorie, high-flavor foods (I thought the exotic fruits and vegetables were really expensive, until I started comparing them to the prices of really good chocolates).
Hubby and I take day trips to gourmet and health food shops (I want to go to the Mustard Museum here in Wisconsin this summer).
I never realized how many truly awesome low-calorie foods there are. And the best of them aren't low-calorie substitutions of high-calorie foods, they're just naturally low-calorie. Flavored vinegars, pickled vegetables (I'm obsessed with pickled garlic), very strongly flavored cheeses (these aren't low in calorie, but I find a tiny shaving of a strong cheese far more indulgent than a big piece of some low-cal cheese with the taste and texture of plastic)...
I try to make the weight loss process as fun as I can. I created sticker charts for pounds lost and time spent exercising. I give myself small rewards for every five pounds (usually worth about $5, though I bought a used Mp3 player when I got under 350 lbs, and I'm considering another bigger purchase when I reach 100 lbs lost).
You can always focus on the negative or the positive. There are people who can turn any piece of good luck into a tragedy. Win the lottery - complain about the taxes. Win a vacation - complain about the trip or the weather.
And I think you can make the reverse happen as well (within reason - I'm not asking anyone to celebrate terminal illness), but I've found that dieting and exercise doesn't have to be a terminal illness, it can be winning the lottery.
do you mean things we don't have to think about that *nobody who has ever needed to lose weight* thinks about or *people who are still trying to lose weight*?
I hope it isn't the second option because I don't think it is good to think in those terms. Weight loss and weight maintanence to me are pretty similar in that I'm still eating the same things and still doing the same activity. I've just reached a point of near balance between RMR and food intake.
If it is the former:
1) Because of my past I think I have a better appreciation of food, exercise and the overall impact of these on my body (and mind) than someone who never had a weight problem.
2) I'm more sensitive to the overweight/ obese people and the reality of their lives. It was my life for far longer than it wasn't my life.
3) I don't take my health for granted. I thank God that I can go anywhere and do anything without my weight getting in the way.
I don't HAVE to watch my weight and my eating, I *choose* to. I could just go nuts, but I'm choosing daily to live a better life. That little switch in my thinking has made a positive person out of me. Every day is a gift. I know that in a way that someone who has never been overweight, out of shape and depressed will never know.
Some things that my super-fit, never overweight, highly disciplined (very sweet) will never experience:
1. The joy of walking into a department store and getting a thrill that he can pick whatever in the heck he wants (he's always done this and doesn't find it exciting).
2. The joy of getting through a day of healthy eating and knowing that it took will power and effort that was previously impossible.
3. Running a 5k and having it be a fantastic achievement.
4. Making a goal to hike a mountain and then actually finishing.
I think less "food challenged" folks take all of these things for granted. I know I don't and I celebrate every victory. I even celebrate that I'm sitting here with my tummy growling 2 hours before dinner while not munching. Victory!
I guess the best example would everthing Matt said and this:
Quote:
It may be a blessing in disguise. We're always aware of what we're doing to our bodies, good and bad. This consciousness leads to a long, vivacious life.
ETA: I guess I'm just feeling exhausted and spread a little thin lately with all that's going on and while my daily routine with exercise and food preparation is usually a source of comfort for me, it's just felt like one more thing that HAS to get done and I just want to be on auto and not have to think so hard. And while all that I do is pretty much second nature now, it still takes a lot of time and effort.
I was always obsessed with everything I ate. It was a long time before I realized that though. I'm pretty sure obsessing over eating healthy will be a lot more fun than obsessing over hating myself because of every bite I take.
And I don't know many thin people who aren't doing something to stay there. They may not talk about it or do it in public but I bet they compensate somewhere in thier diet for stuff you may see them eating.
if your food plan is stressing you out right now, maybe you could plan some things in advance. You've been doing this for quite a while, I imagine you have favorite meals. stick to those for a while so that the counting and 'work' is taken out for you.
Another idea, what do you use to prepare your food?? I am a kitchen gadget geek. I have fancy peelers and knives and a slicer and a blender and all manner of things. And while for most people they may be unnecessary, they make me feel better because instead of carefully chopping each carrot slice I can go through a whole (12-15 inch long) carrot in about 15 seconds.
Also, I hope this doesn't come out the wrong way but I love reading your posts; I've felt a lot of the ways you have when you post here for help at 3fc and it's shown me that weight loss is a goal worthy in itself, not to expect it to solve all my problems.
That's very comforting. I hope your life circumstances get easier.
Also, I hope this doesn't come out the wrong way but I love reading your posts; I've felt a lot of the ways you have when you post here for help at 3fc and it's shown me that weight loss is a goal worthy in itself, not to expect it to solve all my problems.
That didn't come out wrong at all and thanks for reminding me.
I can't give you a list of things that "always skinny" people have to do that we don't...but I can give you a list of things that I get to do having been previously morbidly obese that "always skinny" people don't. I actually see myself as having many blessings that I would never have had (and they do sort of make up for the counting I do and the loose skin, etc).
1. I'm so much more respectful of food. I ate a lot of junk before, and if I'd been skinny doing so...I probably still would be eating junk. Instead, I've become a whole-foodie...aware of my food, where it comes from, the farmers growing it, and what it does in my body.
2. I've become a chef. This lets me cook wonderful meals for family and friends. Cooking started, for me, because eating out was so high calorie. But now I love it. Love, love, love it.
3. Being aware of my own body made me aware of how much food and exercise improve my mental health. Without having to watch what I was eating and improve my exercise, I might not have ever made the connection. This has had wonderful implications for my overall body wellness.
4. I've been able to serve as an inspiration. This is weird for me, because I never thought I would have been one. But this is also one of the reasons I've stuck here at 3FC and join the welcome wagon whenever the opportunity pops up...because it makes me feel happy every time someone tells me that, having seen my story, they believe it is possible. I even got to be on the cover of Women's World, with a huge readership, promoting a plan that was based on calorie counting, 3FC, and good cooking...not a fad. It may sound a little conceited of me, but that's not the place it's coming from, I swear...it's more awe that I may have made a difference in the life and health of even one other person, to say nothing of multiple people. I know several in my personal life who have asked me for advice and support and have used that advice to make major changes in her life, and I have heard from other posters here. And it really, really fills me up with joy to know that, in my small way, I'm making a difference and giving people hope to start their journeys.
5. Most of all, I have a serious appreciation for what my body can do, how well it adapts, for each pound it can lift, for each mile it can run. If this came easy, I can't imagine I'd appreciate all of these wonderful things nearly as much as I do.
4. I've been able to serve as an inspiration. This is weird for me, because I never thought I would have been one. But this is also one of the reasons I've stuck here at 3FC and join the welcome wagon whenever the opportunity pops up...because it makes me feel happy every time someone tells me that, having seen my story, they believe it is possible. I even got to be on the cover of Women's World, with a huge readership, promoting a plan that was based on calorie counting, 3FC, and good cooking...not a fad. It may sound a little conceited of me, but that's not the place it's coming from, I swear...it's more awe that I may have made a difference in the life and health of even one other person, to say nothing of multiple people. I know several in my personal life who have asked me for advice and support and have used that advice to make major changes in her life, and I have heard from other posters here. And it really, really fills me up with joy to know that, in my small way, I'm making a difference and giving people hope to start their journeys.
I'm on speaking terms with my body now, rather than being oblivious to it, "living from the neck up," as I call it. I am no longer mystified by it, or distrustful of it. I have a real sense of cause-and-effect. I know that moving & eating (& not eating some stuff) makes a difference. I don't engage in as much magical thinking, believing that wishin' & hopin' & prayin' will lead to changes.
And yes, like others here, I've become a skilled amateur nutritionist, chef, athlete & behavioral psychologist in order to take better care of myself.
And I now have developed excellent project management skills for any future self-improvement efforts: I learned that I am able to make tremendous changes in my behavior & follow through on them over a relatively long period of time. I know that I CAN CHANGE MYSELF. Do you know how amazing that is? Just spend some time for a while with someone who feels that he or she is unable to affect change or exert much control over the course of his or her life & you will know what the difference is. When you feel otherwise about yourself, your whole view on life changes, too.
4. I've been able to serve as an inspiration. This is weird for me, because I never thought I would have been one. But this is also one of the reasons I've stuck here at 3FC and join the welcome wagon whenever the opportunity pops up...because it makes me feel happy every time someone tells me that, having seen my story, they believe it is possible. I even got to be on the cover of Women's World, with a huge readership, promoting a plan that was based on calorie counting, 3FC, and good cooking...not a fad. It may sound a little conceited of me, but that's not the place it's coming from, I swear...it's more awe that I may have made a difference in the life and health of even one other person, to say nothing of multiple people. I know several in my personal life who have asked me for advice and support and have used that advice to make major changes in her life, and I have heard from other posters here. And it really, really fills me up with joy to know that, in my small way, I'm making a difference and giving people hope to start their journeys.
This is so well said and something I really need to remember on a regular basis. Back when I had newly lost weight many people told me I was an inspiration. Now that my weight loss is "old news" I don't hear it as often. I do still hear it when I work at WW and I need to remember this on my hard to stick to plan days! I have people counting on me not to fail. I have others (haters) counting on me TO FAIL so the stubbornness in me is going to prove them wrong!
Ways to not be resentful...
