As I sit here reflecting on the past months, and the journey that brought me here, there has been much that I realized that wasn't even an idea, let alone a thought during the weight loss process.
To name a few:
LIFESTYLE CHANGE- At first I started dieting, but then I realized I had to change my life permanently, so during the journey, I made solid changes that I could live on and accept and be content with.
Weight Loss won't happen until your body, mind, heart, and soul are all on the same page. We can't wish or pray to be thin, we need to work for it. And there is NO magic pill, workout, shot, drug, or anything for that matter that can give you the weight you want.
Eating fast food, or other "foreign" foods make me feel (this is extreme) like a dog that got into the trash and gets sick from his tummy to the point that he is throwing up and cramping uncontrollably. I don't actually "throw up" but my stomach will cramp for about 2 days after eating "guilty" food.
I am a victim of loose skin. I never even thought about loose skin until I saw that story about that 600+lb guy that lost 400+ lbs and had to have several surgeries to fix it. I have loose skin on my arms, inner thigh, butt, and tummy. I hate being naked. But I will admit that I hated being overweight more.
People do treat me differently. I get random compliments. I'm still not used to the new treatment, I guess it's b/c I felt invisible for so long.
I can't say that I let myself find love "after" i lost my weight, because I'm not sure if I had "confidence" at that point just yet. Many have told me/asked me, if I found love because I was happier, and more confident, but to be honest, I felt exhausted from the dieting, and exercising, and I was still shy and quiet to those around me!
I can't eat something without wondering how many calories are in it. Nutrition labels are my best friend. I depend on their honesty.
I finally took down my "before" pictures. I had originally hoped they would help me maintain, but they really just depressed me looking at them every day on my office wall. So overall, I gave that girl the funeral she deserved.
Shopping for clothes is FUN now! I can't get enough of it! I love how Gap and Old Navy run big! I recently bought a size 2 in a pair of gap shorts, and I used to wear a 20W from plus size stores. However, I'm only a size 2 in Gap and Old Navy. I'll take it.
I still sometimes see the original me in the mirror. The mirror does lie sometimes. It does and will play tricks on you. I'm working on getting a stronger mindset to tell myself and remind myself that when I see the old me, it isn't me anymore.
I'm really hoping after I hit a year of maintenance, this will get a little easier. It's true what the say, maintenance is just as challenging as dieting. Most importantly, you need to be ready to make permanent changes so you can get to where you want to go and stay there. Unfortunately, I still battle desires with bad food. I still crave them. I still want to go buy a whole cheesecake and eat it all in one sitting, or eat ice-cream until I burst, or a whole pizza. I admire "always been skinnies" when I see them eating b/c they don't or have ever had the relationship/thoughts with food that I have. Like Megan said in another post, I'll always be a fat kid at heart. I always be "morbidly obese" and my biggest fear, is I got there once, to that "obese" size, and who's to say I won't get there again. Wish me luck as I continue...
I do have great support, and I am grateful for how far I've come. I really feel "what do I do now?" It's interesting. I feel guilty when I see other women who are my former size, or bigger women eating food that I wish I could tell them to make a healthier decision. But all I can do is continue to make decisions for myself.
The most positive thing about my lifestyle change, other than being healthy, more energetic, yada yada yada, is that I feel like my stomach shrank. I think even if i wanted to eat a whole pizza, I just couldn't anymore. That in itself, is reassuring knowing that my belly will hopefully tell my brain to stop if I ever become the little dog that digs through the garbage for food!
This was really just a rant...a vent I guess you can say. I'm just wondering if other's feel this way. Thanks for reading!
Amazing! Thank you for sharing. It is a wonderful insight into what many of us will deal with when we get there. I cannot wait to reach my goal. Congratulations.
Howdy,
Great post and I can relate to much of what you type. I have found I do not want my old pixs of being fat and have replaced them systematically. If I would have been told this last Oct when I started, I would have pooh poohed it. I thought I liked myself the way I was. But if I did, then I did I work so hard to change?
I like knowing what food costs too. I really like it. Nutrition lables aren't any more of a burden than knowing what our 30th anniversary trip next year will cost. Not knowing is what got me into trouble. Trouble I didn't even realize I was in.
Clothes shopping is way fun. I find myself looking at the store ads. I am just as busy (even more so as we are involved with more projects, home schooling more demanding, etc...) yet I find time to skim the ads. A year ago I would have thought I was just too busy to read the paper, much less skim the latest fashions. I also know where the reslae shops are and browsing them.
I still want my sweets. I humbly must admit have never eaten the whole cheesecake or pint of ice cream. But that doesn't mean I don't like something sweet each night. I also have found I cannot eat chips& sour cream dip without wanting it in an inordinate manner. And sometimes I struggle to not eat desserts because it isn't on plan for the week's activities. I don't know if this will go away with maintanence. I have found I can happy give up everything (booze, processed carbs, pasta, rice) but sugar is different. I have fruit every morning. And I do like grilled pineapple but a sundae is still my fav.
I also don't know if I can put these things back in my diet yet. Dose and context is still indeterminate but in a another month it should be clearer.
Wonderful insight into the world of maintenance. Thanks for posting!
I've been maintaining for about two years and it gets easier and harder if that makes sense. I am still very hard on myself and see the old me in the mirror often. I have to remind myself that I am strong and so much healthier than I used to be. I ran 4.05 miles at the gym tonight in 42 minutes. Three years ago when I was 40 I couldn't run for 2 minutes and I weighed 50 plus pounds more.
I'm really hoping after I hit a year of maintenance, this will get a little easier.
It's true what they say, maintenance is just as challenging as dieting.
Most importantly, you need to be ready to make permanent changes
so you can get to where you want to go and stay there.
Unfortunately, I still battle desires with food. I still crave things.
I'm just wondering if other's feel this way.
In January, I'll have 5 years of maintenance.
I'm still hoping it will get easier after that.
I agree with all you've said.
In addition, I've learned that: Things don't happen the same way twice.
The way I lose weight or maintain weight now is not the same way
that I lost weight or maintained weight five years ago.
I can't EXACTLY repeat the things I did before because I'm a different person now.
I'm 5 years older.
Although I am in very good health,
the human body is DESIGNED to wear out with age.
No matter how hard I work at staying fit,
now that I'm in my mid-60s, I can feel that happening.
Some activites and exercises that I could do 5 years ago,
my body will no longer tolerate.
My body has also now spent years adjusting and adapting to burn less energy.
Retirement from my profession changed my lifestyle.
I am active, but in a different way.
This is the Challenge. What works now won't work forever.
You have to keep changing and adapting,
because life keeps changing whether you like it or not.
This is the Challenge. What works now won't work forever.
You have to keep changing and adapting,
because life keeps changing whether you like it or not.
Thank you for posting this. I feel the weight of this statement every day. I'm entering my 40s, and notice my stamina isn't what it used to be. Heck, that is partly WHY I decided I had to put my health first!! Imagine how it would be if we didn't focus on us, on our health, on our changing bodies...I can see that I'd be another 60 pounds heavier than I was without even trying.
In some ways, the need to keep changing is comforting to me. It is like a renewed challenge to find something different that works. I get bored easily and so the need to reassess, re-evaluate periodically is kind of exciting. Of course, I'm only 3 months into maintenance....not 5 years.
Great post. Excellent points to ponder. We have to stay vigilant. Not perfect, just committed to ourselves & our health.
I'm really hoping after I hit a year of maintenance, this will get a little easier. It's true what the say, maintenance is just as challenging as dieting. Most importantly, you need to be ready to make permanent changes so you can get to where you want to go and stay there. Unfortunately, I still battle desires with bad food. I still crave them. I still want to go buy a whole cheesecake and eat it all in one sitting, or eat ice-cream until I burst, or a whole pizza.
That was my favorite part. I'm not quite in maintenance yet, but I struggle with the abnormal cravings that are normal for me. I just saw a commercial for a new pizza and thought "I want that pizza." Not a slice, but the entire pizza.
When I watch shows like The Biggest Loser, I always hear them say things like, "This chocolate/doughnut/McDonald's/pizza/etc is so gross. I can't believe I used to eat it." Well, even after over a year of changing my lifestyle, Lord knows I would be quite happy eating all of those things EVERY DAY! I guess I thought/hoped that this process would have me hate (or at least dislike) those foods, but it hasn't. I struggle most days to tell myself that I can't have these foods on a regular basis.
Although it's bad for you guys, it really makes me feel better that most of you still struggle with wanting these foods. It makes me realize that I am not alone in this battle and that if you guys are winning the war, so can I.
Thanks guamvixen for your rant, it really touched me today.
hnut/McDonald's/pizza/etc is so gross. I can't believe I used to eat it." Well, even after over a year of changing my lifestyle, Lord knows I would be quite happy eating all of those things EVERY DAY! I guess I thought/hoped that this process would have me hate (or at least dislike) those foods, but it hasn't. I struggle most days to tell myself that I can't have these foods on a regular basis.
I have to remind myself of this often as well. Sometimes it is a fleeting thought. Other times it is a struggle. I hope it will diminish over time. I don't have fleeting thoughts of buying expensive clothes or a nicer house. Not most foods or alcohol either. Mostly it is chocolate desserts and Krispy Kreme donuts, they are my choice of poison.
This is the Challenge. What works now won't work forever.
You have to keep changing and adapting,
because life keeps changing whether you like it or not.
I appreciate your insights. I ponder them from so many angles. One thought that comes to mind, is reading about those who deliberately have a slow weight loss as if that is the permanent solution to maintanence.
I think of how much harder it gets with the passing of time to lose weight for so many reasons. I also think of how great it feels to be trim. Why drag the process out any longer than is necessary? Why not put ones health on the front burner, apply all of ones effort to something so important? Why take a chance on injury or a family crisis occuring while trying to lose weight? Those things can really make a difficult process much less likely.
I also think of how nice it is to be in charge of MY weight loss program. By not relying on some other entity, I must learn about my body, accurate weight management information, exercise that is appropriate for me, carbs, etc... In fact, if I haven't read something related to weight or maintanence, I feel a bit uneasy, as if I am not keeping up with something very precious to me. I feel the same way with other areas that are important to me- so I recognize this impetus as a good thing.
Finally, I think there does get to be a point when weight loss isn't doable for some. It can become too late. My mom, 82 yrs, limited mobility, goes out to eat for majority of meals and social connection. Food, bridge, tv brings her pleasure. She is very happy and supportive of my efforts and successes but there is no way I think she could do what I do given her situation. Somethings are what they are.
"This chocolate/doughnut/McDonald's/pizza/etc is so gross. I can't believe I used to eat it." Well, even after over a year of changing my lifestyle, Lord knows I would be quite happy eating all of those things EVERY DAY! I guess I thought/hoped that this process would have me hate (or at least dislike) those foods, but it hasn't. I struggle most days to tell myself that I can't have these foods on a regular basis.
I wouldn't say that I struggle with this most days. Most days I am more than content with eating my delicious, yet healthy, on plan food. This has been a big key for me. I'm not necessarily eating pizza and pasta, but I am eating scrumptious salads, heavenly soups, delectable chicken dishes, etc. These foods taste good with the added bonus that they're good FOR ME. I've raised my standards and stopped settling for foods that merely taste good. They've got to do double duty. I have to focus on what I *could* have, not what I wasn't having.
For me, those thoughts (wanting the *other* foods) don't occur until I actually SEE those foods. Definitely my biggest issue - being faced with the temptation.
But I've also learned that it's okay to tell myself no. I do it all the time in so many other areas of my life, my food can be no different.
I do get what you mean though - it would be good to not have to tell myself no, but to not want it in the first place.
And yes, my wants and desires for those foods have greatly decreased. Like by a LOT.
It was better actually during the losing process for me because I totally banned them. But now that I'm in maintenance, I have added them back, so my wants for them have come back, of course not to the extent that it was prior to losing the weight.
One of these days I just may make this maintenance thing even easier and totally ban those foods once again. Probably not.
Last edited by rockinrobin; 09-02-2010 at 08:19 AM.
Wow!! So many great comments! Thank you guys!! I am so glad I'm not the only one who feels what I feel. I don't know anyone in person who has lost as much weight as I have, and when I talk about my feelings, I can tell they just don't understand. Sometimes I feel like they think I'm dwelling on my success or making a "big deal" about it. But I'm not. I have found that it's just my way of reminding myself to stay disciplined.
So...I bought apple pie the other day...it was a frozen one you need to bake. The good news is that it's still sitting in the freezer. I think the fact that I know I can still "CHOOSE" to eat those foods comforts me a little. I haven't had it yet. Not sure if I will. Prior to that apple pie, there was an almond joy in there for 3 months before my fiance' finally threw it away. Whew! Good save!
I won't lie, I do have a few splurge days here and there. Never more than once a week. I find it's all about balance. And I compensate for my cheats by working out, eating healthier the next few days, drinking lots of water, etc. It seems to be helping me. Of course, as I get older, my body will change. I'll have to adapt. My once a week cheat days may have to be a once a month thing. That's ok. I allow myself pizza and a burger once a month. (Not at the same time) And when I eat them, boy do I enjoy and even appreciate the "horribleness" that they are.
Thank you all! Thanks for the wonderful insight! Thanks for reading my rant, and my blah blah blahs. You all are wonderful, and it's so comforting finding people who understand where you are coming from. It's even better knowing I'm not crazy. BIG HUGS to all of you! If we all lived nearby eachother, we'd totally have a blast on a coffee break.
Livng w/ Maintenance Realizations
