This is what I get for not even lurking on this thread this week. Oh my. You guys are funny.
Secretary of Maintenance? I LIKE it. Meg, you'd get the job hands down.
Jay, you crack me up. Too funny.
I mentioned something similar on a different thread recently. If only we were all taught from DAY ONE of our lives, just how crucial good nutrition and exercise is. If it were taught to us like reading, writing and artithmetic. Or even earlier. We are taught SO many things that they become "programmed" in us, they are automatic. Without giving it a second thought. It's just what you DO. No ifs, ands or buts. To brush our teeth. Good hygiene. To say please and thank you. To share with others. We are TAUGHT these things from our parents and they are INGRAINED in us. Why oh why, weren't we taught that eating well and exercising is a MUST? That it's not an option NOT to incorporate those things in our lives. That it is in fact PART of our lives. A WAY of life.
I'm not saying that had WE ALL been taught good nutrition and exercise from day one that obesity (and all the problems that comes with it) would totally be elminated, but I think it surely wouldn't be as MUCH of an issue, affecting as many people as it does currently. Of course there were always some kids who were better share-ers then others, and some folks who still forget to say please and thank you, and some who probably don't brush their teeth all that often (ew), but I think we'd have a lot less overweight people in this country/world.
If we all would have been taught this from day one. How cool would that have been? How incredibly cool.
Robin, you're absolutely right and you remind me of one of my biggest regrets about my weight -- not being a good role model for my children when they were growing up. I wish I had been the mom who taught my kids about exercise and good nutrition from the time they were babies and better, modeled that behavior.
My kids were 19 and 15 when I lost the weight, and though they both went on to lose weight (DD lost 55 pounds, DS lost 80) I feel like I missed out on the opportunity to teach them well from Day One. Perhaps then they wouldn't have had weight to lose?
100% Meg. 100%. I too regret that I wasn't a proper role model for my 3 kids. Funny enough though, I fed them fairly well. We did NOT always have the same meals. DH used to get home late from work and he'd, get this, pick up some take out and bring it home for dinner. Usually chinese food. We'd have this about 2X a week. And although we had *some* junk in the house, we didn't have tons of it and not exclusively junk. And my kids never got much of a chance to get to jthe junk. Someone used to get to it first. Wonder who that could be?
My DD's boyfriend was brought up in a VERY, VERY health conscious family. It amazes me. HE amazes me. He's 22, 5 ft 11 inches and skinny, skinny. He actually watches his calories. CAREFULLY. He eats really well during the week and splurges a bit more on the weekends. He's in maintenance!! He's never been overweight, mind you, but he IS IN maintenance. His mom rarely cooks with oil, rarely serves pasta or rice, they eat tons of veggies, fish and chicken, every week she makes a huge pot of a different kind of healthy soup, they eat no beef. There is never junk in their house. Never. Ever. They have a treadmill in the house. Which they all use. This is the first time that I've EVER met someone who grew up in such a household. He IS aware that his family is different. Luckily, he doesn't resent it. Not one bit. It's just part of "what he does" and "who he is".
Add me to the list of moms with guilt for not teaching my children healthy habits from day one. I also felt I was doing fairly well-- my girls only drank diet soda, we rarely had too much junk in the house, etc. But.... we didn't exercise, we ate out A LOT and SPLURGED when we ate out and our PORTIONS were too big. My 18 y/o dd is very overweight and not yet ready to face it. It breaks my heart. I truly feel guilt. My younger dd (almost 14) seems to "get it" more. She doesn't exercise much but she does some and she is active and she eats pretty healthily (we keep no junk in the house now of course). She is 100% fine on her weight. With my older daughter, it is the elephant in the room that no one mentions-- we tried talking to her and we made it worse, much worse......she knows how to do it and what needs to be done. I see her taking small steps-- she said she is going to take two (once a week) exercise classes in college. I pray that will be a first step. I haven't met her friends in college but she said they are mostly around her size......sigh.........
Michele, your DD is watching you and learning, even if she doesn't say a word. And when the time is right, she'll take that knowledge and be successful.
It was the same way with my DD and myself. She was 19 and overweight and didn't want to do anything about it. So I didn't say a word, even while I lost all the weight. I rarely talked about weight loss and exercise at home because I had done way too much talking about it over the years and not enough doing. So this time, I let my actions do the talking. She saw me go to the gym every day and she saw what I was eating (and not eating). 'Nuff said.
When she graduated from college, she weighed herself to discover that she had hit 200 pounds. And then decided to change and ask for my help. We put together a diet and exercise plan for her and she lost 55 pounds in about seven and a half months. And she's kept off all but five pounds for the past four years.
DD's time will come. And she'll let you know when she's ready for your help. In the meantime, just continue to be the role model that you are. We can't change the past, but we can change the future.
I also have a lot of guilt for not teaching my children about proper nutrition and exercise while they were young. My son had his dad that was a stickler for exercise and healthy food and this is probably why DS has never had a weight problem. My son also ate at a lot of expensive restaurants but he never overeats (even if it's his favorite food in the world). He loves weightlifting, football, golf and has always been happiest being outdoors.
My DD has struggled considerably with her weight for the last 5 years (although realistically she only needs to lose about 30 lbs). . She prefers junk food and often overeats. She has given up on exercise or healthy food and says "it doesn't help anyway". (Which isn't true, she just expects immediate results!) It breaks my heart to see her so unhappy with her body but I know from experience that saying anything to her about it will only make it worse. In fact she tells me "I don't want to hear what kind of low-calorie, low-fat, low-carb etc. plan you are doing and I don't want to know if you went to the gym today or not". She totally resents me trying to remain healthy! (although deep down she appreciates that I am much healthier than I previously was).
So instead of rubbing it in Lacy and Shelbey's faces about my attempt to stay healthy, I post here. I can definitely say that today I am sore. My gym has a big circular walking track and I've been sneaking extra exercise. Each time I finish one of my regular workout machines, I walk 2 laps on the track before I get on the next machine. I calculated yesterday that it gives me an extra 1.5 miles of walking each day! I copied this idea from watching other people doing it, LOL.
My son's GF's mom gave me a compliment (I think). She said "I can't understand why you go to Weight Watchers and workout at a gym, you are totally skinny already". Lol, just goes to show that sometimes others perceive us differently than we perceive ourselves. Cause I think I'm fat right now!
Thank you so much for your words of wisdom Meg. That is what I need to hear. You have me in tears right now. I need to somehow get dh to understand this as well. He thinks she will continue to pile the weight on and will never get married-- he has said this. He makes me feel guilty about exercising and eating healthy too-- he says I've gone overboard, but I have to remember that I'm setting a good example.....
But.... we didn't exercise, we ate out A LOT and SPLURGED when we ate out and our PORTIONS were too big.
Here too. We also never exercised. Another thing I regret terribly. How I wish we would have gone for after dinner walks, bike rides. Tossed around a frisbee. Played handball, hopscotch, jumprope. SOMETHING. No, we sat on the couch.
And Michele, I agree with Meg, (duh), your daugther is more than aware of the changes taking place with you, whether she says so or not. She's taking it all in. And one day, it will be her turn. And she'll know that she CAN reverse things and she'll know just what to do and where to turn.
My stepson is only four and I already see the terrible example that we are setting for him at our house, and his mom's. Ours is the best of the two - we keep healthy snacks for him, we don't let him eat whatever he wants whenever he wants it, but we do give in to the fact that the only meal he will eat at this point is nuggets and fries... sometimes pizza... sometimes spaghetti but that is a fight. We are taking the easy road and I'm so afraid he is going to pay for it as he gets older. I've been trying to make changes, but with DH taking the easy road as well, plus he often gets all the junk he wants when he wants it at his mom's, well, it is really hard to change the direction. And, it is really odd - DH is overweight and has lost and regained a number of times. his ex-wife is, also. She often complains that her mother gave her food as the solution to all of her problems as a child and that is why she is overweight today. She always swore she wouldn't do that to her child, but here she is doing it. DSS is slender, tall and in the smallest weight percentage for his age so they say 'it isn't bothering him, we don't have to worry yet'. Well, three years from now when he is overweight and still eats nothing but junk will be too late...
I'm just trying my best at this point to set a good example as best as I can, for all of them.
Great discussion. It was the arrival of my first daughter 3 years ago that really spurred my weight loss efforts. I wanted to set an example to her in all areas of life. I realize this is a daily decision I have to make and that I won't do it perfect or even close on many occassions. Keeping things in perspective, I realize that there are many things I want to instill in her life that I see as a priority even over good eating habits (as important as that is). I will keep making as many good decisions a day as I can and leave the outcome to one who is wiser and more capable than I. Like was discussed in previous posts, I think leading by example is the way to go and no matter what age your children are the learning can start today.
My children are 6 and almost 5 and they know the difference between healthy and not-so healthy food. My daughter's in the first grade and they even studied the food pyramid in health class this year. However, my daughter loves to eat and will eat just because she is bored. On the other hand, my son has no interest in eating and I wonder how he can survive on so little.
I offer them fruits, vegetables, lean proteins and whole grains every day. But they already know that if they want pizza or fast food, all they have to do is ask Daddy - he loves that stuff. Anyway, I just do the best I can to encourage them to eat healthy food and create opportunities for them to be active. I don't want to make such a big deal out of it that my daughter has an eating disorder when she's 11, but I would also hate for her to be overweight and have to deal with the problems and feelings that that brings (like I did).
Growing up we almost never ate vegetables. My Mom doesn't like them and never cooked them. We would have rice or potatoes and that was the "vegetable". I don't blame her at all, but I just want it to be different for my kids.
