Morning all. I've haven't been on line since Friday. I came down on Saturday with what I am referring to as 'the death flu'. I won't try to catch up but hugs or congrats to all who need them. No weigh in this week, it's bound to be all screwed up.
I also haven't been online in a week. My friend visited Thursday - Monday, and I was out in the field the past two days, so no checking my computer. We had a lot of fun! I took her to the store and she bought white bread, Frosted Flakes, potato chips, and Nerds. Though I didn't eat those things I did do too much emotional eating while she was here. My roommates asked me after she left how we're friends b/c she eats large volumes of junk and is thin as a rail.
Good news - I went to my gyno visit and he switched my BC pills as I hoped. I know that some bad eating habits contributed to weight gain, but I genuinely believe the BC was making me retain a lot of extra water, made it hard to lose weight, and some other unpleasant side effects. I'm hoping that this switch, coupled with me keeping my workouts together (at least they've been consistent!) and pulling my food together will pull me out of this upward weight spiral that I've been on. Once I figured out my pill might be doing some of this, I got so frustrated my healthy habits further fell apart. Hopefully I can also get under the red line in the next few months.
My roommate is hosting a baby shower at our house Sat. for a friend, and she can be... lazy... procrastinate... so the other RM and I are trying to nudge her into getting stuff done. I have a lot of other events going on too. My life feels very hectic right now.
Kery, , I hope you are able to get some more sleep. When I'm stressed and under pressure, a good night's sleep gives me the energy to tackle my responsibilities with a much better attitude. Less coffee sounds like a good plan.
I have read everybody's posts, but can't respond to them all at this minute, but just want to say hello to everyone. And I hope we all have a little less stress, and get under those red lines! Seems like a common theme this week.
Less coffee will happen anyway because I totally forgot to restock on it, so I'll probably just go on "forgetting" for some more time... days... weeks? With the 2 kgs of various teas I have at home, it's not like I don't have anything warm to drink.
My parents came to visit today, which was a great thing, because not having to face another afternoon alone surrounded by piles of work was something I seriously needed. (Yes, I said "screw you for today, homework". I know, bad. I'll deal with that later on.) Of course, they had to bring cookies to have tea with (they thought I'd like it, someday I should really tell them that I have a problem with food, hmm), but I managed to pass on them. It might seems a trivial thing, but it's all about breaking my stress-->binge-->more stress-->more binge rut for the time being, not doing the "everything in moderation" thingy vaguely hoping that my ability to be around such foods is magically restored (yeah, right). So I'll take that small victory, go brush my teeth now that I'm done having dinner, take a deep breath, and have a quiet night without worrying about frelling homework.
Welcome back Lisa and Megan! We haven't seen Shane around recently, I wonder where she is?
Mel, you were right about the Cymbalta side effects. I feel way better today, just a teeny bit queasy and dizzy.
I worked from home today, which means no gym since the gym is by work. But I am proud to say that I gave myself a home workout -- I walked up and down the stairs 40 times! (That's 40 up and 40 down!) Phew. My legs are shaking now. Must be time for crunches.
Kery - sounds like a day off is just what you needed!
DGA - I don't know anything about Memphis, but I've moved to a place I didn't know people before (although I took DH along -- BF at the time). It is pretty tough, but if you have other people starting your job the same time as you you should be able to make friends pretty quickly!
Last night I finally had the psychiatric evaluation for continuing my lifetime disability. It was 2 hours of explaining what it feels like to be depressed or manic and the whole business of voices and visions when my medications aren't working right or I'm under a lot of stress.
I'm not optimistic that my private insurance disability will continue after the doctor files his report. I just didn't get the sense that he realized how carefully I have to live my life by not shopping in malls or 'box' stores that trigger stress that leads to episodes, or how dependent I am on my husband to do all the driving and social arrangements and how often I have to cancel at the last minute because I'm 'not well'.
Then today, I went for my annual GYN visit and learned that now that I'm on Medicare, they will only pay for an 'annual' every other year. So next year, I'll have to pay out of pocket, cause I have to have a yearly check up.
So I got all those things out of the way so now I have to get them out of my head and not ruminate on them during vacation. We have a 8 am flight from Newark, NJ to Puerto Rico then a change over to St. Thomas and will be there in the afternoon.
Although, flying has never been a problem for me, I'm actually very nervous about our travel day because we often don't leave enough time for long term parking, and the bus, and the baggage check in, and the security check that we're often running through the airport from one end of a long terminal to another and just barely make our flight. Which totally stresses me out and I have a meltdown when we get onboard.
We're staying at a hotel in CharlotteAmalia the first night and getting the sailboat on Sunday. We'll go out to dinner on St. Thomas the first night and DH promises we'll head back to St. Thomas by next Saturday so we can go out to dinner again for my birthday.
He also said we should be able to find some very small local restuarants on two of the islands we'll visit in the Spanish Virgin Islands. Years ago when we were on the tiny island of Nevis next to St. Kits, we would go to local restuarants that were just the front room of the cook's house. We ate what ever they made that day. Usually, some form of goat and vegetable stew.
Today, I packed up two sets of mix and match bathing suits for over eight different combinations. One for every day on the boat. I put my favorite suit along with a sundress and sandles in my carry-on-the-plane-bag just in case they lose my luggage. If we have time, I'll change at the airport in Puerto Rico.
For all of you who want to stowaway, we actually have an empty cabin because one of the four couples couldn't make it.
I've been very busy with my remodeling efforts. (DH is at work for the week, so I'm having to work by myself). I figured out that I'm perfectly capable of laying ceramic tile and grouting it by myself. It is looking beautiful and I'll try to post pic's after it's all completed. I'm actually enjoying this project, it gives me a sense of accomplishment. My laundry room and one bathroom are now finished. Hopefully tomorrow I can start painting the kitchen (ceiling and all) and be ready to start tiling it by at least Tuesday. The only bad thing I've noticed is my hip joints are hurting from so much sitting on concrete and getting up and down. But, I'm stoked about getting this work done.
Anne, I plan to plant strawberries by the end of March. Yummy, I love strawberries. I'm also like an old person when it comes to gardening. I love the fresh fruits and veggies and it does taste better knowing you grew it yourself and how hard you worked for it. Also gotta have my potatoes and snow peas in the ground by the end of March.
rockinrobin, my DD had an experience like your DD had. She passed out at school today in the bathroom (after a particularly bad vomiting session). I don't know this time if it's a virus or her usual stomach problems. I went and picked her up when the school called. She's very pale right now but no fever so far.
Megan, I hope the new BC pills work better for you. I always felt like my BC pills contributed to my wt. gain problem when I was younger.
I've managed to drag myself back to eating OP again for the last few days.
Oh, glorious On-Plan Day! Whew. It does feel good to be back on track. Why the heck I convince myself that gobs of chocolate taste better than eating well is beyond me. If I could bottle this realization and sell it, I'd be a millionaire! I am aiming for that red line and I am determined to cross it! Today is three weeks until when Tom comes home so I think that has something to do with it, too. Gotta get myself all prettied up for my man! I don't honestly think he notices when I gain or lose five pounds, but being on-plan and feeling healthy makes me feel so much better, and I think my whole aura is happier.
Kery, I really don't think you can whine here too much. You have to get it out! Living every day with those emotions all bottled up isn't good for you. You don't think it has anything to do with the foot pills, do you? I once had to have dental work done and they had to put me under conscious sedation (I have a diagnosed severe phobia of needles, so I had (we'll call them) "issues" with the novicane.) and the next day I was literally having suicidal thoughts. It was bizarre.
Joy, hope you feel better soon! Good call waiting on the weigh in.
DGA, moving is fun! I never thought I'd like it, but just this year we literally moved across the world and we had a blast. You have to keep an open mind, try to find out what the fun local things to do are, and meet lots of new people! Good luck!
Jessica, you are a true stair master! What a feat! Hope you can walk tomorrow...
Megan, glad you got a new prescription! I don't care for the hormonal birth control methods much. I was on a pill from when I got married to before Connor was born and never went back to them. I found a book called Taking Charge of Your Fertility that explains how you can use basal body temperature and (TMI alert!) cervical mucous and position to determine whether you're fertile or not, and hence whether you are capable of conceiving. You can use the information to get pregnant or avoid pregnancy. It was really empowering to learn so much about my cycle!
Carolyn, I'm there! We're about an hour from Newark so I'll meet you at the airport! Good luck with your travelling, and I'm sorry to hear your doctor's appointment didn't go well. I wonder if there's some kind of clinic that has reduced fees that you could use on your in-between years?
Lily, I hope your daughter is feeling better! Have you heard anything from her doctor yet? I'm sure your tiling is looking gorgeous!!!
I'm off to watch Lost with my green tea! Have a nice night, all!
Kara
Last edited by tomandkara; 02-21-2008 at 10:08 PM.
Kara -- Interesting. I hadn't even thought of that! I checked the list of 'undesirable effects' again, it doesn't mention anything that could be close to that, but... you never know, I guess. At least I don't poop yellow.
I am somewhat ashamed of mentioning it, but the past night, I've had my first binge nightmare (dreaming of eating crap all night long, basically--complete with thoughts of "oh noes, I didn't even manage to spend one day without bingeing"). o_O The good thing is that when I woke up this morning, I was like "ugh, okay, where's my HEALTHY food? I definitely want THAT instead of junk!"
Speaking of food: in Germany, my father found 1 kg yogurt containers. That's almost 2 lbs. (For me, a yogurt is 125g maxi, I have a hard time envisioning a bigger container.) I was quite dumbfounded. That store carries lots of delicious foods at a low price, but gee, when you live alone, the size of said food containers is an open invitation to gain on weight!
Kery, I buy yogurt by the quart, which I think comes out to about 1 kg (assuming the old "a pint = a pound" and there are 2 pts in a quart). It is a big container, but my DH eats yogurt like most people eat ice cream - every day!
I made it to the gym for a run at 6:00 AM this morning, in addition to some ellipticizing yesterday after work. That combined with preparing all my meals in tupperwares since I'll be running around for the next day and a half makes me feel a little better about facing the world. I have to go to my office in the city and I'm going to stay there to see "The Tamer Tamed" at the University this evening. I'm really glad I've started to go and see some theater, even if it means driving 4 hours. I need a little culture sometimes! Of course I'll have a few hours to kill between work and the play. Shopping, perhaps?
Tomorrow afternoon/evening is the baby shower my roommate is hosting. Of course it will be fun to celebrate our friend's baby, but all I can think about is dealing with the food. The bad news: I know what food there will be, and other than the veggie platter there is nothing remotely healthy. Good news: it's at my house, so I will have my food too. More bad news: It's at my house, so the leftovers will be too. I think it will be a matter of willpower at the shower, having my own food handy, and distraction/go stay at my BF's Sunday to get away.
I also buy my yogurt in the 4-cup/2 pint (~2.27 liter, according to the converter) container, or the single-serving ones - depends what the store I'm at has available. I eat yogurt almost every day but I don't have binging problems with it.
Kara, I totally agree with what you say about "feeling" better to pretty yourself up. It's definitely my mood, or whether I'm smiling, that my BF notices most. When I flipped out about the BC and told him "it's making me fat! I've gained 15 pounds since we started dating!" he had the most clueless expression on his face. Bless his heart, he's not that good at lying, he genuinely has no clue about my weight fluctuations. Some men are oblivious! Only 3 weeks until Tom joins you, how exciting!
Kery, if your dream didn't turn into a reality, that's the important part! I'm recalling a particularly vivid chocolate cake dream I had once. Mmm, cake. I hope today is a little less stressful for you.
Carolyn, I'm sorry you don't feel hopeful about your evaluations and disability. I can only imagine how frustrating it must be for you. Enjoy your vacation, it sounds wonderful!
DGA, you'll have to make new friends wherever you go. You're obviously close to your family, so I would say imagine if you could drive the round trip for a weekend - how often - once a month? Twice a month? I don't know how you are about driving distances. From someone who lives 23+ hours by car from her family, it doesn't sound so far to me, lol. I know you'll make a good choice!
joy, I hope you feel better soon.
What is everyone up to for the weekend? Hurray for Fridays!
Megan -- Thanks goodness, no, it didn't turn into reality! But it sure felt like it had for a moment--it was so vivid and true-feeling. When I woke up, I was seriously convinced for a second or two that it had been real. Well, I guess that's why it was a nightmare and not just another random dream.
And re: the baby shower, ugh, I bet thinking about the food and the leftovers would be on my mind all the time too. Good luck in coping with that...
Megan-- It really isn't that far of a drive. I know once I get out there and get settled in, I'll be fine. It is making the decision to go. I think I am though. It really is an amazing opportunity. I earn 1 day off each month, so after a couple of months, I can take a long weekend. Plus, Nashville is halfway between home and Memphis, so that is a great meeting place. A comforting aspect is my boyfriend's parents are there, so If I feel the need to be "babied" I can go over there!
I finally made it to the gym yesterday, although my running was half-hearted. Going today. And for once I'll be able to make it to the Saturday class I've been wanting to try.
Yogurt--I sometimes buy the big container of Dannon Lit n Fit. I go through it like crazy. It is better for me to buy the single serve. Although, I suppose there are worse things I could eat a lot of than yogurt!
Kara, Thanks for the reminder, I'm supposed to call today and find out when my DD's next testing is scheduled for. Hopefully it will be next week when DH is home to do the city driving. (although his driving scares me to death).
As far as yogurt goes, I buy the single serving ones or it will go to waste around here.
Kery, I've had food nightmares before and mine usually revolve around eating cake.
Megan, wishing you the best of luck with avoiding temptation at the baby shower.
DGawDawg, once you get to Memphis, you'll be by my SD#3. She's in the Coast Guard and is assigned there on a ship.
I guess I'll go start painting my kitchen. I just had a revelation this morning, I won't be able to finish tiling it while DH is gone this week, because no matter what he'll have to move the refrigerator for me. (the other appliances are all built-in and won't need moved). But, I'll go ahead and get as much done as I can while he's gone.
I've been wondering about Shane too. Perhaps she's just busy with her new job?
I buy the large containers of plain and vanilla yogurt, and the individual containers of fruit flavored. I've never had a problem with binging on yogurt, so it's more about price and portability.
The red line is so far behind me that I barely even remember what it looks like! Help! Help! It is definitely, definitely time for me to get my eating back in gear. I've had a week and a half of unrestrained eating and it is doing me no good. Also, I seem have developed a brand new sugar problem. I think there must be some neurological reason for this...like sugar and chocolate cause the release of similar hormones or something to cigarettes, or hit a similar pleasure-center in the brain? I've never had sugar cravings like this before. I think I need to cut it out completely. Does anyone know: if you need to give up sugary sweet stuff entirely for a while, is it a good idea to temporarily give up fruit too, or are fruit sugars unlikely to trigger cravings?
At any rate, it's a mess and I'm getting fat. Time to belt tighten and lose weight. Quitting smoking has seriously been the most destabilizing thing that I've experienced in a very long time. All I can say is, thank god for exercise.
In other (extremely destabilizing) news, bf has received a job offer from a liberal arts college in NY. This is great except that he'll be moving to NY in August while I stay here in WA for another year. Given the difficulties and contingencies of the academic job market, we don't know when we'll be able to live together again. I have to find my own job for the following year and the odds of my landing one in NY aren't particularly good. This is very, very stressful. He and I have been living together for nearly 8 years. I don't want to live alone without him. Bah!!! Stress!!!
My roommates asked me after she left how we're friends b/c she eats large volumes of junk and is thin as a rail. 
, I hope you are able to get some more sleep. When I'm stressed and under pressure, a good night's sleep gives me the energy to tackle my responsibilities with a much better attitude. Less coffee sounds like a good plan. 
We miss you!
Time to belt tighten and lose weight. Quitting smoking has seriously been the most destabilizing thing that I've experienced in a very long time. All I can say is, thank god for exercise. 
