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Old 07-26-2001, 04:21 PM   #1  
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Talking 10 things to do to annoying telemarketers!

10. When they ask "How are you today?" TELL THEM! "I'm so glad you asked because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died..."

9. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located. Ask when it was founded. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.

8. Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of pause as she tries to figure out where the h-l she could know you from.

7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends ....would you be my friend?"

6. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for
bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.

5. Tell the telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you a case of beer and some chips.

4. After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.

3. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they will give you their HOME phone number so you can call them back. When the telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their HOME number, you say "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The telemarketer will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!" Say
good bye - and Hang up.

2. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke.
"Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"

1. And first and foremost: Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD down.


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Old 07-26-2001, 07:46 PM   #2  
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Have printed this and put it by the telephone for future reference !!
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Old 07-31-2001, 02:20 PM   #3  
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I'm getting ready to start answering "Is this Mrs. XXX? " with, "No, this is Mr. XXX's mistress. Can I have Mrs. XXX call you back? "
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Old 08-10-2001, 02:08 PM   #4  
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Default This reminds me of a true story...

About ten years ago a had a little problem paying my bills, and I was living at home with parents at the time. The bill collectors would call at all hours, annoying the **** out of my parents. One called to ask if I was home and my father replied, "I don't know where she is". The collector thought my father was lying, which he was, and asked him again, this time with an attitude. My father said, "No. I don't know where she is. But when you find her will you let me know?"
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Old 08-11-2001, 02:50 AM   #5  
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Default This is a great idea

I love this idea about what to say to telemarketers, they sure are a pain in the neck, and always calling w hen your busy, I have one that is a commercial , and there is no way to hang up on this because it's a recorder all the time, so now when we see the name, we pick up the phone, and hang up right away., when I know it is not the recording, I just tell them that I'm not the lady of the house, and tell them to call tomorrow, when I know I am not home. I'm glad that I'm not on the other end of the phone., it would be very depressing.

Take care, and it's nice to see a thread that has nothing to do with weight. Full house.
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Old 08-12-2001, 04:50 PM   #6  
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Smile cool ideas

+nest time i will be sure to try them
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Old 08-14-2001, 10:29 PM   #7  
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Love the great ideas. I have tried the one where you write everything down & make them spell everything. Drives them crazy! I always tell them that I don't buy ANYTHING over the phone. Usually stops them
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Old 08-24-2001, 12:05 PM   #8  
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My husband works nights and knows the feeling when receiving a call in the (middle of his night). One time he asked for there home phone so he could call at 3 a.m. and asks questions.
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Old 08-25-2001, 01:18 PM   #9  
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Talking LOL

I had a telelmarkerter call me over settting up appointments for satelittle system sales. Well my hubby had just went to work for the cable company and needless to say we got our cable free. ( company perks..gotta love em ) well she went into her thing and wanted to set an appoint up. I told her I am not interested that I get a good deal from the cable company. So being as telemarkerters are she goes all into more details and trying her darnest to conviece me that I just dont know what I am missing. She ask what day was good for me. I told her again but this time told her I get a really really great deal from my local cable company and that I am not interested in messing up my bargain. LOL Sooo on she goes once more. ( I being in an ornery mood let her waste her ) And again she asked. I told her same things and she asked " Do you mind telling me the deal you are getting? " I said well it is like this. I get free cable and as a perk I also get to sleep with the cable man every night..lmao. Bang, it was like that phone was fire in that womans hands. I never got to tell her that it was my husband! I must add that I probably wouldnt have either..lmao. To this day they have never called my number back. ( When they do I am ready because now I get free cable high speed internet to...rofl )
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Old 08-26-2001, 10:11 AM   #10  
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Kas, that is absolutely incredible - I love it!!
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Old 08-31-2001, 02:43 PM   #11  
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Default truth is better than fiction

I know some people dont believe it reeally happened like that but as they say truth is alot better than fiction..hehe..I just wish i could do another telemarketer that way and make them hang up on me...hehee
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Old 09-08-2001, 02:36 AM   #12  
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Talking Veteran telemarketer replies

I know how aggravating they can be because I USED TO BE ONE!! We were trained in rebuttals for every type of refusal known to man. "I know you don't want to talk about this right now, ma'am, but . . . . " You name it, I've heard it. The best thing is to tell the telemarketer to put you on that company's Do Not Call List. I don't know if this is true in other states, but here, if they call you again (after you request to be put on the DNC list)you can sue them for $500 each call. Also, I was once put on the phone with a 2 year old by a frustrated man when I asked for the "lady of the home"!!
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Old 12-07-2001, 10:25 PM   #13  
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Lightbulb Aha!

I'm going to put my 4 year old on the phone the next time I get a call! Thanks for the tip!
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Old 12-08-2001, 12:14 PM   #14  
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Here in New York State, the Governor instituted a "Do Not Call Registry" and if a telemarketer calls, they can be fined. But on occasion, we still get a call.

My husband one time answered a call from a cemetery and kept the person on the phone asking a gazillion questions and then said his only request would be that he would have to be buried standing up - the telemarketer hung up.

What I usually do now is when the phone rings at dinner time I let the answering machine pick up - 9 times out of 10 there is no message. Telemarketers don't leave messages.
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Old 12-08-2001, 05:00 PM   #15  
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My husband has requested to be put on Do Not Call lists. At least we don't get the telephone companies calling anymore. I understood that they only have to keep you on that list for a limited amount of time; I don't know just how long. Also I don't request it myself; I guess I'm just chicken to get into it with them. I tried it once, and they actually told me that it would some 3 months or something to get that "activated".

I just hate arguing with strangers, it practically makes me sick to my stomach. I'm sure that's one of the things they are counting on. The worst offenders these days seem to be companies we are already doing business with -- they want to sell us MORE. My satellite TV service called yesterday and tried to sell us a package we didn't want. He kept asking why I didn't want it. He actually said "Don't you watch TV?" What an idiotic thing to say to a satellite TV subscriber! But it comes across as so insulting. I just hate them.

At the same time I feel a lot of pity for the people whose job it is to annoy and offend people in hopes of garnering a few scraps of business. In my opinion, it's no more worthy of human endeavor than begging on the street. I really don't understand how badgering and harrassing someone is going to make them a good customer.
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