Diet Coaches – Fun Spring day yesterday, with sunshine and a lingering chill: Saw lots of nesting behavior during a sunny bird walk. Watched two Black-capped Chickadees industriously excavating a hole in a dead tree trunk for their nest- acting a bit like woodpeckers. Saw several pairs of Baltimore Orioles flirting. Then rode my bike to a street fair. Was refreshing to note that I wasn't compulsively drawn to every one of the foods for sale as I would have been three years ago. I pocketed, rather than ate, the 100 calorie snack packs of cookies being distributed since I hate to turn down free stuff. Afterwards, I got DD to agree to take them. CREDIT moi.
Sue (CoastalSue) - Interesting perspective that working your Beck has helped you to slowly eliminate reasons for eating, until you have your big three left. Kudos for working so clearly to see your triggers.
Heidi (hbuchwald) - Waving. Sending healing and supportive thoughts for you, DD, and Henry.
wendy (wendylan) - Kudos for posting despite feeling so frustrated - a clear sign that wendy is still in there and not giving up. It's a challenge to let each day be over and start clean in the morning, as others here have discussed. You can do it.
Jean (kuhljeanie) - Congrats for the simultaneous culmination of so many milestones!! Kudos for keeping your perspective on your strong feelings and not just reacting to them with, for example, comfort food. Best wishes for finding serenity in this less-hectic period.
onebyone – Congrats for launching your two farmer's markets engagements. And congrats for good sales; a resounding encouraging start for the summer. Your perfect goatee admirer paid you such a lovely compliment. Hope you can get past the feel bad and just savor it. It's a cheap shot; all artists have marketing challenges. Re, "Can you ride to work?" It's an option after I solve the problem that I've fallen into the habit of carrying both a briefcase and a computer case - a bit much for a bike until I get the panniers for the rear bike rack.
KidsLibrarylady - Happy Mother's Day (on your shifted schedule). Yep, at 15 months Mother's Day is another good day for TAKE CARE OF ME, LOL.
Readers – "… You’ll be able to face challenges with confidence because you’ll know exactly how to get through them, and each time you do, dieting will become easier and easier. …" From the Introduction, Beck, pg 12.
Monday the start of the week & restarting Beck today.
Good morning coaches!
I'm excited to get in the rental car and drive to buy my first bike helmet. yep. Today's the day I haul that bike out of the dark basement into the sunshine and walk it over to the gas station (maybe I'll buy a tire pump?!) to get the tires inflated I hope. We'll see if they still hold air. If not it's a task for another day, getting those tires replaced if it comes to that.
Today I've decided to join the others in making this day one. I think I will stick to "3-meals-a-day-and-nothing-in between/no second helpings and no sugar" for today. I'll assess things tonight as I do my review of the day a la Beck. I hope to have a written foodplan for tomorrow.
Anyway have to run, car needs to be returned and I have some chores to get done before it goes back. Will check in later.
Good morning everyone.
So many wonderful, thought provoking posts. I thank you all for that.
Sometimes our fear of living in the present helps us to find so much to do we don't really have time to live each moment as it comes. I just had an aha moment reading these posts. I help so many others out because sometimes living in the present is scary. It is scary as we put our self sabotaging thoughts and what ifs in the picture. (At least for me this rings true).
I think it is a great idea to start day 1 once again.
Would it be okay to start it over for all of us on this thread as there are so many struggling here?
Just a thought.
I do hope you all have a wonderful day and thanks for all you give to this thread. Everyone makes such a difference.
Thank you all.
Ann
i was thinking, for my own (re-) inauguration, since i reviewed my old advantages and they still seem to be right, i'd focus on one or two and really think about why it's so important.
i've got two that are related:
i lessen my risk for high blood pressure
my next pregnancy will be more comfortable and healthier
i'm borderline hypertensive, and during my last pregnancy i was diagnosed with gestational hypertension. it never got out of hand, and my kid was born normally and on time, but it stressed me out. more than that, i gained a LOT of extra weight and was miserable the last three months. back pain, swollen feet and ankles, couldn't sleep because i couldn't get comfortable. the truth of the matter is that i probably gained 20 pounds i didn't need to because i thought of pregnancy as a free pass to binge and eat whatever i felt like eating. imagine a total lack of judgement by yourself and everyone around you about what and how much you eat, and how big you get. dh thought i was sexy pregnant. i was finally "allowed" to be fat. yay for me! only problem was that i was physically uncomfortable, and it exacerbated my natural tendency towards high blood pressure. towards the end i was hospitalized overnight for observation. turned out okay, and i was so close to due that no one was very concerned, but it was an awful way to spend 24 hours and i'm sure dh didn't enjoy it much either. can't imagine doing it now with a 15-mth old. yikes.
we're thinking about trying for #2 late summer/early fall. a toxic body isn't fair to me or the next kid. i want to be as comfortable as long as possible. i don't want to worry about my blood pressure or the effect it might have on my unborn child. i don't want to worry about a stroke or heart disease for myself at ANY point, either. i want to be around and healthy for my family. i also read about studies that suggest that the health and weight of the mother during pregnancy might be a determinant of future obesity for the kid. yowza. i was so careful about so many things, but #1 was unplanned, and i never wanted my pre-pregnancy weight to be 189 (which is what it was.) i've got a couple of months and i know from history that my blood pressure tends to normalize around 160-165 lbs. there is no reason in the world not to get to a healthier and safer pre-pregnancy weight. i've lost the pregnancy weight and a couple extra, so i know i'm capable of going all the way.
tomorrow: i want to be hot! -related advantages.
heidi, my heart goes out to you. i lost my old kitty pablo last year. grief sucks! let us know how we can support you.
congrats to bill and nessa! TREMENDOUS! credit you both for clean eating and getting and keeping it in practice!!!
sue, let me know where you are on the "staying present" thought. it keeps coming up for me in different ways, especially when it comes to eating - although clearly it's part of the Big Picture. it was comforting to read what you wrote about transitions. i need to give myself a little slack. (always.)
onebyone, kidslibrarylady, newlifestyle, wendy - anyone else who needs a refresher, you're welcome to climb on the wagon with us!
completely unrelated but just have to mention - MY KID HAS TEETH! he's been super grumpy for about a week, and saturday morning there they were. two on the bottom. go kid! bill, didn't forget what you said earlier. you called it. OUCH! he bit me and i yelled, which stopped him in his tracks. hasn't done it since.
this just showed up in my inbox (i subscribe to his newsletter.) something for me to meditate on today...
What if, like a baby, we are born at peace - in tune with the infinite, in touch with our bliss, resting in the well of our being. But even as babies, our very human needs from time to time interfere with our connection with this innate well-being. We experience physical discomfort. Because we do not yet understand the source of our discomfort, we do the best we know how to do - we scream bloody murder!
Then, to our delight and amazement, someone comes (this is in a functional household) and "makes it better" - they feed our hunger, dry our bottom, entertain our nascent brains with funny noises and rollercoaster type movements, and before we know it, we are back in touch with our innate well-being.
Over time, it would be the most natural thing in the world for us to connect/attribute that return to well-being to the people or activities that seem to be causing it - we are OK because Mommy loves us, we are OK because Daddy protects us, we are OK because the people around us, for the most part, appear to have our well-being at heart.
And then one day we do something in our joy that mommy or daddy doesn't like - we splash colors on a wall, or cry when daddy's tired, and suddenly the ocean of love we are used to swimming in is filled with sharks and other monsters.
Before long, we have bought in to the myth of love and well-being outside us.
But well-being - happiness, connection, love, peace, spirit - is your nature. And the reason you can never consistently hang on to it when you pursue it from the outside in is that it's already inside you. It would be like looking for your keys in the street when you had left them in the house - no matter how long and hard you look, you can never find what's not there.
Sitting in the hospital that day, watching the baby Kai as he slept off the rigors of his birth, it became clear to me that the source of well-being comes from deep inside us. It is not the fruit of something we do; it is the essence of who we are. And all our attempts to find wellbeing from outside ourselves, no matter how well intended and practically followed, are doomed to fail. Not because happiness and wellbeing are unattainable, but simply because it is impossible to find what has never been lost.
Last edited by kuhljeanie; 05-12-2008 at 11:19 AM.
Hi everyone,I just wanted to say I am doing bad! bad! bad! I feel like such a failure.Doesn't seem to matter what diet plan I try I am just stubbornly refusing to follow it. I start each day with good intentions and they just fall to wasteside and I am off eating well everything bad! I have been reading my cards and listening to my cds but then I just start thinking it will never work and go back to the same old behaviors.Very frustrated!
Don't know if this will help you, but LadyBugnessa sent a post a couple of weeks ago that really inspired me. She had emailed Dr. Beck and received a reply from her. This isn't an exact quote, but I think it's a pretty good paraphrase. Dr. Beck said that her most successful dieters were the ones who mastered the skills she teaches in the first 14 days of the program, no matter how long it takes to master those skills.
That really made an impression on me. So, instead of "being on a diet", I'm working really hard on mastering the skills. Yes, I'm recording what I eat, and more or less trying to stay within my allocated 27 weight watchers points each day, but I'm focusing most on learning those first 14 day skills. You might just want to focus on those skills for a while rather than put yourself under the pressure of "going on a diet".
Or, if you have the book handy, you might want to look at Day 20, page 166 -- "Get Back On Track". Here's a quote you might find helpful, "It's destructive to continue to eat in an unplanned way for the rest of the day just because you ate something that wasn't on your food plan."
Just wanted to check in. I stuck to my 3 meals a day, no second helpings, no sugar--oh oh. I ate a licorice. Crap! I almost did it. Ah well that's as bad as it got. I went for a walk with DH to the mall and bought a biycle pump and bicycle helmets for both of us.... shhhh! Don't tell DH but he may get some exercise in! Holy Crow! I'm not telling him if you don't! Tomorrow we'll see if the tires hold air and if not the mall had innertubes so we can fix it. We have the technology.
And that's my Monday. Before I go to bed I'll read Beck day one again.
I have a new name for Sabotoging Thoughts. From here on out I plan to refer to them as the Diet Devil. It's shorter to type, and just as descriptive. The Diet Devil grabbed hold of me Saturday night, and caught me in a weak moment. That same darn tin of key lime cookies I successfully resisted in the middle of the night last week was still on the coffee table. I had shoved it out of sight on the lower shelf. I usually don't lie on the couch and watch TV, but my husband was out of town, so I was enjoying my new found freedom to sit wherever I please.
Well, there they were, on the lower shelf where I normally wouldn't even see them. Diet Devil was really clever this time. Northwest, it said, you can eat those cookies and still stay within your food plan. After all, you've allotted 3 points for a treat today. And, it isn't after 10 p.m. so you won't be breaking your "No choice, not eating after 10 p.m. rule".
The manufacturer of these gourmet cookies is really clever, too. They're called thimble cookies and they are literally the size of a thimble. So, no matter how many of them you [I]end up[I]eating, when you start out you feel like you couldn't possibly eat enough to do any harm. They're lime flavored and completely covered in confectioner's sugar so that they have this perfect sweet and sour taste.
After the first couple of cookies Diet Devil put me in some kind of trance where on one level I knew exactly what I was doing and on another I didn't care and kept shoving little thimble cookies in my mouth. I finished off the lot and I expect it was more like 12 points worth of cookies. Then I felt really yukky. It's been a while since I've consumed a lot of white flour and white sugar and it puts me into some kind of malaise. Not fun.
Oh well, I made a mistake. The good news it that on last week's weigh in I've lost 3 pounds, so I'm 2 lbs. away from my next goal. I am taking the long view. It doesn't matter how slowly I lose as long as I am making progress. And, I define that as improving my skills, even if that isn't immediately resulting in weight loss.
Thanks to all of you for your posts. You are an inspiration, especially those of you who do so much excercise!
good morning
it's critical patch week no time to catch up with personals... :sad: sorry!
did want to say i'm starting day 13 Overcome Cravings today and yesterday the scale showed an new low of 217.8.
oh and 43 days (SIX WEEKS) of clean eating under my belt. Credit ME.
Congratulations on you latest weight loss. And, I wanted to say thank you for quoting your email from Dr. Beck about concentrating on the skills learned during the first 14 days. That has really helped me.
Hi coaches and friends,
Thanks for the reminder of the importance of the first 14 days skills. I turned to candy today...I am so disappointed in myself. What is this all about? Am I secretly wanting to stay at this weight? Am I scared about getting lighter for some reason?
I really like how Sue narrowed down the sabotaging thinking to her big 3 reasons that are the last to tackle... my sabotaging thoughts come up when I have to make a decision about something big and it isn't terribly clear, when I am feeling down. I also completely relate to the teaching situation with looking forward to breaks from school but then not knowing how to balance all of the unstructured time. I have gotten better since I have realized this in the past and now plan a few things but it still isn't nearly as structured as a teaching day.
I also love kuhljeanie's note about our innate inner calm. I have REALLy been focusing on living in the moment and being calm, not obsessing over past or future events but being as clear and present as I can be as often as I can. It is so easy to go on autopilot.
I can get tired of oprah sometimes but I am currently reading the NEw Earth book and watching the webcast discussions about the chapters. I am definitely not keeping up with a chapter a week-going at my own pace. The book is about living in the present moment.
How can I remember that food does NOT solve my problems or relieve anything but hunger? Maybe I should put a sticky note with that written on it inside my sunglasses...heyyyy....invention idea.
My "advantage of focus" today is on enjoying the energy I have when I am closer to my goal weight.
Afterschool, my dad and my brother (in from Denver) came over for dinner. We were all with dd in the backyard kicking the soccer ball around. It felt good to be able to move easily..it made me want to get on a soccer team myself again-it has been YEARS! Even Henry got into it a bit...he is exhausted now but this afternoon allieviated any doubts I may have had about whether I should have euthanized by now.... he enjoyed being with us all, playing and enjoying the intermittent sun shining down on the lawn we were runnnig around on.
So...I really appreciate the comments about getting back on the wagon, about how we will stumble along but always get back into the game, etc...
Off to bed... hope everyone has a diet devil free day tomorrow!
Did hours of boring paperwork and didn't get any real exercise-managed to re hurt my back inspite or maybe because of being so sedentary. tomarrow I swim or else. Eating remains moderate and with out cravngs or unplanned eating. This is so rare for me!! I did make a killer spinach salad tho for dinner and I did to all the chopping and prep 1st thing in the morning to insure I had the veggies ready.
Was reading that in the early 1900's 98 % of the people were normal weight in th US-now 60 % are overweight-the author blamed processed foods and that food being less nutritous now. I think the ease and cheapness of processed food has really been hard on us health wise. One of friend loves the hot dog at cosco-$1.50 for dog and coke-He just raves about the deal. I looked the cals up on makers site and that one dog is about 280 cals with 260 cal from fat 22 gms of fat in one. That can not be good for us.
I think that advertising has helped promote that food can have a recreational use-remember that slogan "you deserve a break today" I certainly have used some very unhealthy foods to get thru the day-Too bad farmers can't spend millon adversiting broccoli, carrots, apples and celery as so good for us-anyway some of my 2 cents on why this is such a complex problem and while we all need to make healthy changes there are some some marketing geared to supporting our sabatoging thoughts. Thank heaven for the rational Beck ideas.
BillBlueEyes-what a perfect sounding day-earned after a week of stress at work. Much credit for passing the 100 cal snack to DD-wonder how many folks eat 2-3 of them at time.
onebyone-sound like you are being so proactive in your plan for food and exercising-it always great when the stress and busyness is less and one can focus on changes. Congradulation to you.
KulhJeanie-I try to mediate each day and when I do- I am so much calmer-taken some workshop in mediating and sometimes get CDs out of the library to help me. Like alot of the Beck changes - I can easily go back to old habits and forget to mediate-But then at certain point I pay attention to the fact that I am feeling crummy and not mediating, eating unhealthy and getting depressed or at least anxious. Then I put on a guide meditation CD.
Your posting about inherent self value is still something I am working on. I have always worked as an adult and now due to my age, obesity and poor mobility-along with so few jobs here-mainly service types maids and waitresses- I don't have steady work-do some subsitute type of work-I really question my worth if not being productive-this has been very tough for me-Dh has been very supportive. I was raised if you haven't earn it you can't spend it.
If our handcraft business works it will help financially and psychologically-Yeah I love being busy and productive also.
Take care and glad you are watching that elevated blood pressure.
Northwest-yes they are diet devils and there are so many of them-how many of us have a just a bite or small sliver of something-over and over again- as we slowly delude ourself into an extra 500 cals. Guess that why Beck has that No Choice idea-such a good one but hard to do at times. Glad you lost weight and most importantly kept your postive attitude.
ladybugnessa-Congradulation on your successes.
NewLifeStyles-True how our minds can be our own worst ally to create that you "must" and "what if" versus just looking at what is at the moment. Really like the concept of looking and responding to sabatoging thoughts for my own internal changes.
Heidi-love hearing your extra moments with Henry. I also can get very tense with confusing decisions-I hate to be wrong! Really hate when someone tells what a "bad decison" I made earlier. I think I can punish myself more with "what if" than just make the decision and living with the consequences. When down-high sugar processed foods was/is the drug of choice-the very thing which made me more lethargic.
The candy-good news you noticed it and questioned your decision-you did not go mindless into binge eating. Stopping is realy good-it beats all or nothing-and then over eating for hours.
I'll check that book out on Oprah-heard good things about it.
Diet Coaches – Done. Passed the event at work that had me stressed, then spent the rest of the day being fairly unproductive. Seemed to have the same PMLD (Post Milestone Letdown Disorder) making its way around this thread. A minor deviation from eating on plan. Was eating dinner alone and put my serving of corn chips on my plate - but left the bag on the table, right in front of me (BAD idea). So, of course, when finished with my little pile of chips, I simply made another little pile. Then a third little pile. Not all that much, but decidedly not living by my eating plan. When I can see the bag, my Desire for more leaps up big. Lesson learned: Remove the bag even when you're being rather casusal because you're eating alone. Oh Well.
Sue (CoastalSue) - Kudos for doing your chopping in the morning so you couldn't veg out when you were tired in the evening. Such a relevant observation, "some marketing geared to supporting our sabatoging thoughts" just when northwest is confronting thimble cookies. And Kudos for continuing to eat on plan. Hoping for some sunshine for you for swimming tomorrow.
Heidi (hbuchwald) - Your soccer play time sounds fun; Kudos that you were "able to move easily." Nice reminder of your weight loss to date. Continuing to send supportive thoughts.
Jean (kuhljeanie) - Thanks for the thoughtful quotes from Michael Neill, and your recollection of the thought, "...the source of well-being comes from deep inside us." OUCH! for nursing with teeth. LOL, of course, but being aware of El Nino learning about a shark in the ocean of love. Kudos for reducing your Advantages Card to the most important two items. Methinks I'll try to do the same to help focus.
onebyone – Kudos for the new bicycle pump and two new helmets. We're on our way to making this the Beck Cycling Thread, LOL. And Kudos for sticking to your new first day of three meals on plan. Ouch for a single licorice, good for you to keep it in perspective as a small thing.
Nessa (ladybugnessa) - Congrats on your new low scale reading. Kudos for 43 days of clean eating, and Double Kudos for giving yourself credit for it.
Ann (Newlifestyle) - Thanks for your comments about living in the present. Good to be reminded that that's the goal. You asked, "Would it be okay to start it over for all of us on this thread as there are so many struggling here?" I think it would be great if the crowd starting from scratch led us on discussions about the first 14 days. Any takers?
northwest - Thanks for the reminder, "So, instead of 'being on a diet', I'm working really hard on mastering the skills." Ouch for your Diet Devil and the thimble cookies. It really is dirty that their name implies it won't be too much. And Congrats on your latest 3 pounds.
Readers – "… The difficulty and frequency of these challenges will gradually diminish until eating differently is just a way of life." From the Introduction, Beck, pg 13.
Credit moi for starting the day with a good breakfast, eaten quietly and mindfully. Have to work on the large bites at some point. And putting down the food but I did sit still and eat with no distractions. I am off to the school to do my ceramic tech job. I need to put in 3 hours. I will want to do 1. Oh well... I found out yesterday that a kids store that carries my paintings has a cheque for me and they want more. Yay! I was going to wait to pick up the cheque but think I'll swing by today. It'll go into more canvases and onto credit cards. My goal over the summer is to get rid of as much credit card debt as I can. Now's the time cause during school I'm really not making much money.
Well I put my Beck book "in a safe place" again and cannot find it again. Rats.
This must be a subtle form of self-sabotage. Do I want it bad enough to search for the book? Sheesh.
Okay better go. Time to get on with the day. Have a fantastic Tuesday everyone.
day 2 of day 1 - create your advantages list. since yesterday spent so much time thinking about the deep, inner source of self-love, today i'm going to focus on all my shallow, superficial, i'm-going-to-look-hot advantages.
here's just a few:
I like looking at pictures of myself. Single chin and visible cheekbones! C cup boobs! Butt dimples! Abs! Tight firm thighs!
I get joy out of shopping for clothes. I can wear better clothes in smaller sizes.
I feel good when I look in the mirror.
I have more confidence.
i've always suspected that under the layer of extra padding, i have the body of a (short) underwear model. to be fair, i've never gotten thin enough to tell - but i'm going with it anyway. have lots of nice muscle tone and i'm curvy, so imagining what i'd look like at a healthy weight? with cheekbones? daaaamn. how lovely would it be to enjoy clothes shopping? to be able to try on the clothes i like because there's ALWAYS an 8 on the rack, but not always a 14 or 16. how fantastic would it feel to look in the mirror and feel joy and pride about how i look? to be able to buy nice, tailored shirts and pants? in support of these advantages, i started a list of specific clothing items i'm going to buy when i'm at goal. they're going to be nice, too. none of that cheap old navy or target "in-between" crap that i've been wearing until it's shabby.
i also suspect that i'll take more time with my hair and my makeup, because having some pride in your appearance extends to taking better care of yourself overall. i might even make time for that extra 2 minutes it takes to remove the chipped, nasty toenail polish that will sometimes stay on my toes for months. how wonderful to move around the world without feeling the need to hide or camoflauge any part of yourself! how liberating!
i also suspect that others will treat me differently for two reasons: 1) i'll carry myself with more respect and will consequently demand more respect from others, and 2) thin people are taken more seriously than fat people. i read something somewhere (don't quote me, it might have been yahoo, so take with a grain of salt) that overweight people are paid less than thinner counterparts. somehow the idea isn't all that shocking. there's a thread on 3fatchicks about the horrible treatment some of us have received from medical professionals. even if it's totally imagined on my part, i'll be glad to be free of all that crap.
heidi, glad to hear that you and henry are able to enjoy this time together! i was thinking about getting a copy of a new earth. how are you finding it? worth the price? i've caught a few minutes here and there on oprah xm radio, and it sounds like he's put some good ideas together. just not convinced it's different enough from all the other stuff (four agreements, etc.) to justify the money. bill, love "PMLD"! something to be aware of in the future. good point about thinking about el nino and those sharks. i'm acutely aware that everything i do, say, and put in my mouth is followed by a small pair of watching eyes. lots of neural pathways getting developed. sue, so glad to hear that michael neill had that to say to you! i'm convinced that at our root, it's usually about the same thing. beatles said it best - all we need is love!northwest, LOVE "diet devil." thinking of it like that might help me avoid the ba$t@rd in the future. onebyone, wendy, newlifestyle - what's your advantage today?
Monday
Monday the start of the week & restarting Beck today.
)
he bit me and i yelled, which stopped him in his tracks. hasn't done it since.
The Diet Devil
. It's shorter to type, and just as descriptive. The Diet Devil grabbed hold of me Saturday night, and caught me in a weak moment. That same darn tin of key lime cookies I successfully resisted in the middle of the night last week was still on the coffee table. I had shoved it out of sight on the lower shelf. I usually don't lie on the couch and watch TV, but my husband was out of town, so I was enjoying my new found freedom to sit wherever I please.
northwest, LOVE "diet devil." thinking of it like that might help me avoid the ba$t@rd in the future. 