Hi everyone,

I keep wondering when I'm going to be able to do this....It's good for me to hear, realistic for me to hear, that everyone has setbacks. I've been going around and around, and Valerie Bertinelli has lost 21 pounds on TV!! I've been thinking and planning and fretting all that time...sheesh...get on with it, I say to myself!!!!!

Stacy, wow, I may have to totally give up on fast food, too. Good for you and your husband! It is addictive and so easy. I wonder if they study just the right chemicals like the cig companies do, to addict us! But ultimately, I'm the one who drives my car there, orders it, and then puts it[and too much of it] to my mouth.

I still feel myself fighting the following the plan I make with NO CHOICE. I haven't moved beyond that in the book.

The other day I said to myself that hey, at least I have a choice with planning whatever the heck I want to eat (now that I'm doing low cal) w/my weekly planning, and then even the night before I can change what I want on my plan, so in a way, that's a LOT of freedom.

If I can look at it like that, then I don't feel my wings are clipped as much. I don't think I've ever made it thru one day following my meal plan since I came to that day in the book. One of the most successful people I saw at Overeaters Anonymous did that....she called in her food plan to her sponsor every day, even after she lost all her weight. And she didn't veer from it. Not many did that, and most struggled and struggled. I know it's a good thing for me right now. I know I need to do it right now.

Sue, I would still count that 1# as a victory...congrats!

Liannie: "I just can't (NO CHOICE). I can't go through all this suffering only to undo it with 2-3 crazy binge-filled days. It's not worth it."

So true---all that work just to fall into the hole. I need to remember that. It's so not worth it.

Maybe next time I write I'll be on track....
girly

'Mornin ladies!

Long day today so just a quick shout again....

Sue, a husband who would give massages would be worth renting out to friends! My husband is one of these calm and serene types who pretty much never needs a massage, so he doesnt think about giving them either. Of course, I've never asked....

I'm recovering old ground too, weightwise. My 3-day binge last week got me back up to 174 and I'm back down to 172 again today. I'm SO TIRED of losing the SAME weight over and over and over! I'm really going into hermit mode until August 1 so I can slide the ticker over to 170, my goal. I think I will then maintain for a few weeks rather than try to continue dieting along with two closings and a move. Thankfully the boss goes on vacation tomorrow so I can take her off my stress pile for a minute.

Good for you with the swimming! It's a great calorie burner.

Girly, what is your struggle with the overeating? Is it emotional? Is it addictive foods? Do you let yourself get too hungry? Are you not sleeping well enough? Fatigue and thirst both create artificial hunger for me. Maybe if we analyzed exactly what the triggers are, we could help. You know us....always willing to analyze and ponder!

As for me, I made it another day on plan. Thats three in a row. I guess I'm taking it one day at a time, like an alcoholic. Today there is a meeting at work which has catered food. NO DESSERTS will be my mantra.

More later, gotta go.

L

Hi Everyone,

Hey, good cheer to everyone. We all are going to win over the lure of food and be much more healthier, active and attractive.
Yep, these changes are a real bear. I fight stress, anger and depression when not eating my comfort food which I told myself had the ability to calm me. I have operated for years that food could "solve" emotional problems. I am really bright gal-how could I believe that for all these years! Now "all" I want is to lose 190 lb is a couple of months. Luckly I am not an unreasonable person-not with others-just with my own body. I can over feed it, under exercise it, force it work when tired or sick, and then get mad at it for not losing weight fast enough when I finally treat it right for a couple of months.

girlythin, I so understand the wanting to cater to the impluse to eat what ever I want, any time I want and how much I want. I am embrassed to say how much satisfication that implusivity gives me-That is one of my very core personal rewards-I want no one take away from me and they can't. Only I can do that slow hard work to change the value of implusive eating. I have some control in my own home as allow very few comfort foods in it, but out of the home it is a HUGH battle for me. Even ocassionally late a night when I am alone down stairs, I will "sneak" some peanut butter-I can feel the relaxation of eating it alone when not even hungry. I would not enjoy it at all if my husband was still in the front room and heard what I was doing, He would not say anything, but the "sneak" would not be so sweet nor have the personal sense of "reward".

I have spent years having my mind override my body's needs-My body is begging me-by the use of pain to listen to it and stop overeating, yet my mind says -forget the pain-enjoy this treat just one more time over and over again.

I guess I am musing that to "think like a thin person" I personally need more respect for my body's true needs, not the addictive little girl that is part of my mind. I really need to learn how to reward/ calm/ enjoy myself without the use of food. I have to work on ignoring the sight of food or even signs about food-Just seeing the ice cream store plants the need to have one. This "need" then become a battling thought for hours. I do use the "Oh Well"-thought it is so reoccuring that it can trigger overeating hours later. I can do some calming using meditation when I remember to do it. Rewarding my self -especially self praise is very diffiicult. I tell myself nothing I do is really that good-it could always be better hence little chance for my self praise. Enjoying myself socially without food or drink-that is very very hard for me.

Hope doesn't sound to crazy to everyone else, but it really helped me to write this stuff.

love reading everyone's posting
Stacy-you are awesome-you will have so much insight as a trainer.

I agree Liannie it is one day at at a time-often it is just minute to minute to fight the urge.

Karina hope your travels are going well.

To a new attitude to food-may it a fuel and no longer my "bad buddy"

sue

Sue, that's awesome that you are so commited to your swimming. I think as time goes on and you lose the weight that the consistent exercise will really help with your mobility. You'll be much better off then someone in the same boat who does it with exercise alone. As for me I think the principles that helped me the most were just the ideas of what was "normal." Normal people don't turn to food for comfort, or eat until it's uncomfortable. Another big one was hunger is not an emergency.

girly, what if you tried to slowly make changes in your meal plan? Maybe try writing down a less strict plan with maintaining calories. Maybe plan for lunch out, have your favorite dinner, but control the portions. Yea, you probably won't lose weight but it may help you follow what's written down and stop the bingeing. Then you could slowly make changes to get the calorie intake down to where you want it and it won't seem as extreme or limiting. I could never have gone from how I was eating originally to my current plan. It took a looooong time.

liannie, 3 days on plan is great. You know honestly even with my loss I don't know that I've made it 3 days!

I have to start thinking about what I'm going to do when my family is out here visiting in a couple weeks. In the fast that's always been my downfall. Hopefully I'll be able to keep with my eating habits. I don't think the exercise will be too much of an issue. I also have a lot of cleaning and reorganizing to do between now and then. 5 people in a one bedroom apartment is not going to be fun!

Have a good day everyone!

Quick shout to everyone before I do my workout and then run out the door to work....

Yesterday was a disaster. I caved on the desserts at the meeting, then had another 1-woman ice cream eating contest. I need to beat me up some more before I'll be rational enough to figure out how to stop this. I'm back on plan today but I need to analyze what happened so I can prevent it from happening again.

More later.
L

Hi,
Liannie and Stacy---you are both close to the 160s....that's so cool.

Stacy, it's a great suggestion to start in a less restrictive way. I'm not much of a moderate person, sort of all-or-nothing, but maybe moderation is better. I thought that doing low calories was a moderation already....still figuring out what's next.

Sue, you are right. I think that we are all gonna get it. It's relearning how to live in the world. I think that if I can get this, I'm going to be invincible. I'm not giving up. You said, "I personally need more respect for my body's true needs" and this really rang a chord with me, too.

Liannie, in regards to my whys in overeating, they are numerous--and prob boring to anyone but me. I think I work in an inherently stressful job, and I've never handled stress well. I wait too long to eat, and then overeat. I get dehydrated bec. I've always been like a camel and hate drinking water. I have increasingly loud and painful symptoms when I eat wheat, yet I ignore them b/c my body CRAVES wheat and wheat products. There is alcoholism majorly in my family lineage, and though alcohol isn't an issue for me, I believe that I have some sort of addictive component to my eating, possibly from that. If I eat low carb, I can get the cravings somewhat under control, but I feel too restricted on that, so I'm going to need to strike a balance on that b/c I think my blood sugar screams at me.

The last thing is more ephemeral...it feels like this compulsion, and I seem to lose this impulse control when it happens. No matter if I've got a plan or I've got food ready, or I cried at my reflection the night before, if it hits me, I feel this irresistible urge to eat. I need to get ahold of it...it is pretty blinding. I think it's prob a "craving" and that I need to do the anticraving techniques, and then build up a belief that I can live thru it.
***************

On the positive side, I've done well with exercise overall, I've somehow stayed at 177 for several days, and I have 4 days ahead of me work-free to make healthy meals and take good care of myself. God bless Dr. Beck, that's for sure, and you all, too.

Thin-in-spirit...
girly

Girly, you are singing my song! My job is like a bundle of stress wrapped in barbed wire! I am trapped and tangled in it, and would be shredded trying to get out--right now at least. I eat from total compulsion when I get stressed out and feel driven to eat more and more and more when the first dose of carbs hits my tongue. But it IS too restricting to go completely without them, so I fight along in this crazy struggle. I want the Beck techniques to work and I use them more and more each day, but 40 years of bad habits is tough to overcome in a couple of months. I keep telling myself the same things I tell all of you: when the scales rack up more "good" days then "bad" days, I will be happy with the number I see. It will just take time, effort and consistency.

Hey Sue, Stacy and Karina!

L

HI Everyone,

Yeah, after 2 weeks I have lost all of the 8 re-gained lbs and now back to what I weighted on 7/13. This gain was the result of 2 trips and 5 meals with friends.-I was really trying to cut while dinning out too. Set back was icky, but the good was that I kept on trying to lose the lbs versus going into months of mindless eating.
Now I have a 46.5 lbs total loss. Really want to lose another 35lbs before holidays. I hope that my vigilance keeps up. There so many incredible caloric foods in this world. For the first time in years went to our local movie house and did not get any food from the snack bar. DH got 2 candy bars, friend got popcorn.

ladies, really related to stress overeating, off all the factors-stress was my hughest factor for gaining so much weight. -Have you heard the idea that overeater are very often perfectionist? I have been told that I am too hard on myself. Even volunteering I push myself and get stressed. I really hope you can find ways of reducing stress. Liannie-you job plus a move sound tough, Glad Girlythin you have a couple days off. Kiddos to you both for keeping up the exercise. Today I was getting stressed about some timelines, so I thought don't swim-told myself it was like medication and I would not skip my blood pressure meds because too busy. Really did feel better afterward.
Girlythin-I also feel that I have some addictive wiring going on in my brain-I truly believe that I can change unhealty habits of my brain. That is what is so appealing about Beck-not just diet rules, but skills to self moderate. Often it really is just one day or one bite at a time.

sue

yay, Sue!!

Hi Everyone,

I am a 39 year old teacher in upstate NY. I have two children, ages 7 and 5 and a supportive husband. I am a lifetime dieter.

I have always struggled with my weight. I am not severely overweight (5'2 and 133 lbs) but have always been overweight in my head. I need to lose 10 pounds and just can't seem to do it. This weight feel intolerable to me. I have to do something, yet the dieting seems to backfire.

I read and enjoyed the Beck book last month. I got off to a great start and then fell into my same old pattern. The pattern is.....

1. have a great start and feel excited
2. see some weight loss (say 2lbs. in 2 weeks)
3. have some type of challenge (such as being out on boat all day with friends) and do my best to eat well under circumstances, feel great and in control (not perfect, but definitely improved)
4. gain weight from said outing
5. decide dieting isn't worth all the HARD work if it is so easy to regain, think that if I can eat a LOT more and maintain or diet like **** only to maintain I may as well eat and enjoy (I guess I don't want to work hard w/o results)

I know part of my problem is lack of consistency and also lack of persevering past the above scenario.

I am going to pull out my Beck book, begin rereading, and start posting here. I think it will really help to have some friends on the same journey.

Michelle

Welcome, Michelle!

Welcome Michelle!
Good Morning (in alphabetical order) Girly, Karina, Stacy and Sue!

Michelle, the Beck book is a wonderful tool to get us to rewire our thinking and habits! You'll see from the last week or so of posting that three of us have been struggling with emotional eating, festive/restaurant meals and stress. So some lessons have to be reworked over and over. It seems like you share our same pattern, and we are glad to have you with us. Building collective energy will carry us all forward.

Sue, GOOD FOR YOU on not skipping the swimming. Exercise is medication! It definitely keeps me from being fatter and more depressed, even if it isn't the cure-all I wish I could find. And congrats on being back to your last lowest weight reading AND avoiding movie theatre foods. I'm not getting near the scale yet. I've been too lax this week and don't want to disappoint myself.

Girly, I just read an article in Time Magazine called "why we get addicted" and it talked about addictive behaviors being an impulse control issue and how our brains are different that other people's. They showed through funtional MRIs of addicted people and cured addicts that the brain can be changed after years of using the new habits. So there's hope for us after all! We just need years and years of retraining. That's nice to know. If we actually keep at this, it will finally work.

Stacy and Karina, HEY OUT THERE!

As for me, I'm getting ready for the last-minute packathon to begin here at home and I will be trying to exercise and avoid convenience foods this weekend in an effort to keep calories at 1400 or less. I re-read my primary reasons for wanting to lose the weight this morning but I'm not working on specific lessons again until Monday. Hunger tolerance and avoiding emotional overeating, as always, will be the key.

More later, I'm sure...
L

Hello Again Everyone,

Thanks for the warm welcome. I began rereading the book again and had to laugh out loud when I read the characteristics of overweight thinking (34-41). I have many of them! I especially suffer from feeling things are unfair.

Here are my reasons/advantages for losing weight....

I will get up in the morning and feel great wearing whatever I choose.

I will shop and select styles I love, not just whatever fits.

I will hit 40 looking and feeling my PERSONAL BEST.

I will feel like an athlete.

I will like my legs. They will be toned and strong.

I will view myself as someone who naturally eats healthfully and enjoys it.

I will feel proud of my accomplishment.

I will END this issue in my life….the obsessing, energy draining, see sawing nature of it. It will be been there, done that.

Michelle

QUESTIONS AND THOUGHTS FOR TOUGH TIMES

Am I thinking powerful, positive, thoughts?

Do I BELIEVE in myself?

What are the alternatives?

Will I like the result of this?

What kind of thinking error could I be making?

What would I tell a friend?

How MUCH do I want it?

Is this part of the difference between being interested in losing weight and being COMMITTED?

What helps me be successful?

What helps me feel STRONG, mentally and physically?

If not now, WHEN?

If not now, WHY?

SO WHAT!

I have the power within me to choose to overcome adversity.

No bite of food is worth, no ice cream cone, no snack, no temporary “fix” is worth giving up my goal.

I must believe to achieve.

Amen to this one! This is probably the one with the biggest significance for me. Actually a lot of your reasons resonated with me.

I keep adding to mine. I added # 23 today. Today I did my walk for exercise, and although I wear sports bras for 95% of the moments of my life, I was in a sports bra and just so self-conscious of my boobs. I hate being this chesty, and even though I wear a mondo support sports bra, they can only do so much when you are moving fast. I can't wait to be smaller, and also to not have to wear sports bras and spanx and to always be careful of what I'm wearing in my non-exercise times. So #23 was just "to be comfortable in my own body."

Most people don't realize I'm as big as I am b/c I've learned how to dress well for my size. IN fact, I've even taken up sewing b/c I can pick the right style, the right material, etc to look the thinnest possible.

Yesterday I went shopping for material, and I was frustrated b/c I couldnt' find anything that fit all the criteria for what I can wear.

It'll be so great to just buy what I want b/c it's cute, not because it has vertical lines, or it's dark and slimming, or it has the right neckline, the right size print, etc. One great thing about being overweight IS that I've taken up sewing. Love it. I'm sure I'll continue it after I ever lose this weight.

Well, I'm rambling. Beck-wise, I did a lot of things on my checklist and a few I didn't do. Today was supposed to be put an extra portion on your plate and don't eat it, but I didn't do it, so tomorrow that'll be my task. I got my menu made out for the whole week. That feels good.

Liannie, you are always so thoughtful in your posts. Hope your moving goes as swiftly as possible.

Hello to Stacy, Sue, and Karina....

Have a great Sunday.
~Girly