Congrats Karina! That is so great. Don't you love it when things happen with ease? I'm not well-versed on pregnancy at all, but it seems like things will be fine....it was early and you don't overdo.

Liannie, good luck with all your exciting endeavors. Sometimes if I can think of stress as excitement, reframe it as excitement, then that helps.

Stacy, congrats! Almost in the 160s and a jaw that can cut ice

Hi Sue!

Today I decided to make cupcakes for a student...I made them and then we decorated them in class for July bdays. I teach adults but it's fun to do stuff like that once in a while, and I have them for 10 hours a week!

Anyhow, I've been feeling so strong; you know where this is going, right? I had 2 unfrosted when I was making them, which is only 180 cals, I had none in class, but when I got home, I got weak and I ate two frosted. I was overly hungry, and I don't know--I just have gotten looser with things, thinking I'm in good control. I'm not over my cals for the day yet, but I probably will have to eat the tiniest dinner. And I'm hungry; that sugary crap just feeds the beast, but it doesn't feed you.

I didn't read my response cards; I waited too late and then was rushing around, which always makes me want to overeat--the stress of running late.

And I'm letting myself be too spontaneous. I'm seeing why following the food plan is going to help. It's starting to sink in. It WILL be great to just plan my day, put it in FitDay, and then That's IT!!! Not going back toFit Day all the time b /c I'm changing the plan, and then having to recalculate to make sure I'm within the calories I want to eat.

It's making me feel obsessive, so in a way, having and following the food plan would make me less obsessive. This is the food plan, and that's it. This is what I get--and that's it.

Looking forward to success AND to letting this just be part of my life and not THE focus of my life.

girly

OH YEAH! I do agree on that one. I was just telling a friend of mine how I have to make this my main focus because iwhat I'm trying to do is unnatural for me. I'm used to "feeding the beast" too much and then having to feed the darned body too! I can't imagine how I made it 6 whole months back in 1989 going from over 230s to 150s--straight through the without one slipup. I don't know where I found that dedication because now I often find it so wearying! But it's gotta be done. NO CHOICE, as the card says.

I hope you made it through your day and managed to eat a little dinner as well as the cupcakes. I'm at around 1450 calories today instead of the 1300 I was striving for but I was just too hungry.

And Sue, I have that "party like a fat girl" mentality too. That's how I undo all my hard work every time! In fact, today when I got out of traffic court unscathed (just a fine, nothing on my record), my first thought was "I'm going out for breakfast." Nothing like a nice greasy plate of pork, eggs and potatoes to celebrate, right? I'm telling you, it's a shame. My skinny little husband nibbles off a saucer and I waddle up to a trough. I've been like that since childhood. Self-restraint, planning and recording on some level will be my burden for the rest of my life if I want to get and stay thin. "Intuitive Eating" doesn't work for someone whose brain is urging them to eat like it's the eve of their execution every day of the week, you know?

Well, it's Midnight now....bedtime!

L

Hi folks,

Changing these ingrained food habits feels very obessive to me also. If I let down my guard I find it so easy to overeat.
Yesterday had dinner planned and to attend a meeting at 6pm. Just I was starting dinner our cat brought a darling frighten wild baby bunny into the house, After she dropped it ran about the house in a panic, by the time bunny got returned to the outdoors, no time to fix dinner. Gabbed some yogart and 2 tbls of peanut butter. Then when I returned I used the rest of my cals on a Hugh Gin+tonic.(didn't want to fix anything at 8:30. This was followed up bunches of cereal straight from the box. Just got the box 2 days earlier thinking I could handle it and keep to the daily measured amount. wrong.

So more new rules-Not ready for any cereal with any sweetner in it in the house. I must stock up on some of the south beach dinners for emergencies. Must keep the alcohol cals to about 5% of my total cals, I have been playing a game that I could eat less and then use extra cals for both a martini and some wine. Most all of my binges had some alcohol served at the same time.

Tonight we had a great dinner at our friends-they were so supportive-raw veggie snacks, low cal soup, bbq salmon and veggies, plus fresh fruit dessert.-the whole meals was absolutely great. What help not to go crazy and over eat. special friends.

Tomarrow we are off the stay at a B&B and meet some friends and then dine in the casino there. I really want to stay focused, -not eat bread and have a lower cal dinner. I am so tired of undoing days of losing weight which then has to be re-lost. How did you do Liannie losing all that weight without a slip for months.

hope everyone is doing well
I'll check in on Sat.

sue

Greetings from Bingeville,

I need to go look through the book and reread the stuff on emotional eating. I had a terrible day at work yesterday. It was the end of a week on extra long days and very little sleep, conflict with my boss and bad news about an employee I really really need possibly leaving us. So when somebody brought in a box of doughnuts, I just couldnt resist. I ate 3 over the course of the day and then the floodgates opened and the ice cream came rushing in. I'm pretty mad at me today and am trying to get back on track.

I had a business breakfast this morning and boxed up half the food to bring home for my husband, so that worked out okay, and I've stuck to a tuna sandwich for lunch and a baguette with butter for dinner. Yeah, a lot of carbs, but no sweets. Tomorrow it's back to no-carbs again so I can get completely back on the wagon.

Sue, the way I stayed so true to plan back in 1989 was by completely eliminating my social life for 5 months and creating a very structured environment for myself. I had a cup of milk (mixed with a cup of coffee) for breakfast, a Lean Cuisine for lunch, and a 500 calorie dinner from a rotating list of about 10 different dinner menus I created for myself. I turned down 95% of all social invitations and kept all off-plan foods out of the house. I remember repeating my mantra over and over "no bite of food, no drink of beer, means more to me than this." By the time January had rolled into May, I was able to be more reasonable about it, but for those first five months I basically was in my own self-imposed diet bootcamp. I had an easier job then because I was a secretary and not a manager so stress eating was less a factor. Or maybe I was just younger and more resilient. Who knows?

Anyway, onward we struggle. As long as we keep at it over the long term, we WILL get there. I will be working on the cravings and emotional eating lessons in depth for the next several days. More later when I work out the details.

L

Hi guys,
I'm sad to report that I'm out of control. I had those cupcakes, and then I had major cravings. I did a couple of the techniques, read my cards, went for an hour long walk because that usually helps, got in control, and then it started again. It was too hard to go thru that again; I just gave in and ate what I wanted. I ate McDonald's night before last, ate good all day yesterday, then ate Chinese last night--completely overate.

Today I made a meal plan for the whole week, ate on plan till about 3, forced myself to do the shopping, but threw some m and m's in my basket, and now I've over eaten again after the candy. NO fast food, but I'm way over.

By yesterday morning, w/2 "bad" meals, I was up from 175 to 179. Despite exercising intensely 2 out of 4 days, and 2 out of 4 moderately. I think that triggers me b/c it's so unfair....I didn't eat 9000 calories to gain 4 pounds. And I just start to say f&*K it...it's too hard. The deck is way too stacked against me. My body is f**Ked up.

Now I'm just where I was before. I think it's too hard. I don't think I'm ever going to get out of this ****. I don't think I'm every going to be thin again.
Right now, I don't even care. It's too hard.

OK, sorry to be negative, but it's where I'm at.
girlyfat

Girly, I'm sorry to hear you and Sue and I are all having the same struggle right now. Your 4 extra pounds is water. You didnt eat 9000 calories! The water weight will come down once you get back on track. You WILL get out of ****. It will take months and months but as the tally racks up more "good days" than "bad days", the weight will come off. And you're right. It's hard. But it's not TOO hard. It's just plain old hard. And it will take a long time. But we'll be here doing it with you, if that's any consolation.

L

Hi everyone,
I probably won't drop by much for a while--we are in the crazy moving process right now! Hope to pack the truck tomorrow and leave Sunday or Monday. We're going to stay with friends in Chicago before heading to Oklahoma. I definitely want to stay on here though; I'm starting this pregnancy 20lbs higher than last time, and I hope to keep my entire weight gain to only 20, maybe 25 lbs. It's going to take some serious work, as I've already been starving and eating pretty much everything in sight.

Girly, I wonder if the gain you saw is due to the high salt concentrations in both chinese and mcdonald's food? That could have made you retain water like crazy, which could easily add up to 4 lbs--water is heavy! Try to eat low salt for a few days and see if it goes back down. I bet it will!

Liannie, the very structured diet is also how I've been successful, although the cals were too low to sustain. It's definitely hard to maintain or get inspired to try again.

Sue, your life sounds like so much fun! Although I love having a baby, I miss the carefree childless days too. A baby is hard on the social life, for sure!

I'll check in again soon. Take care, everyone, and hang in there! Don't give up!

Hi friends,
My temper tantrum is over and Im feeling better. I'm feeling like I might be able to get back on it again. The overall damage has been 2 pounds.

In the year before I got diagnosed with the thyroid problem, and all the docs were just telling me eat less, and "you're fine," I remember dieting and stepping on the scale and gaining weight despite really good efforts (+30 pounds in less than 6 months), so I think I got thrown back into the memory of that frustrating time. My medication has my thyroid as normal as it's going to be now; my values are quite good.

Not to mention that as you said Liannie, it's just plain old hard. Karina, you're right. It prob was the salt. I really thought I'd gained 4 pounds, but it must have been a lot of water. IF I'd stopped immediately, and not continued to eat badly for another 2 or 3 days, the damage would probably be only 1#. Oh well.

Well the good news is that I shopped and my food is planned, so all that is done for a week. And I've kept track of my food and calories during this whole time, so I know exactly what I've eaten.

I'm hoping that I can somehow make it through today sticking to my plan. And then another day, and another day, till it starts feeling easier.

Thanks for your support

~girly

Sue, you do have good friends! I wish my friends would make that nice meal for me. How are you doing?

Good Morning All,

Girly, I'm so glad you're feeling better. My "pre-diagnosis" thyroid story is similar to yours. I maintained weight if dieting and gained weight if eating normally for MONTHS before I finally got the diagnosis. It really sucked. And then my doctor when hearing my symptoms tried to diagnose me with depression until I insisted on the thyroid test.

Anyway, you're right about your little setback...OH WELL (just like Dr. Beck says). I'm feeling the same way now. I overate again yesterday despite my plans to make it my first day back on the wagon. Now I realize, after having slept 11 hours, that much of it was fueled by fatigue along with job and home stress. I re-read Day 33 on Emotional Eating today and I realize that I need more education on these techniques than those 3 pages offer, so I'm going to check around on Amazon to see what else is out there.

As for me, I already have menus made for the week and will be going to the store shortly. I need the structure and organization to stay true to plan. I'm going to deal with my troublesome work situation (one of Beck's solutions: deal with it or change your mindset) then let it go. I WILL get enough sleep this week and I'm going to go back to playing New Age music in the car when I'm stressed instead of pulling into McDonalds. At least that's the plan.

Sue, I hope you're doing okay and will be visiting again with us soon.

Karina, we'll miss you but will be waiting here when you get back. It's just us four and Stacy now so your absence will really make a difference. I'm moving in 3 weeks (only 40 miles though), so I know what life is like right now. Hang in there!

Happy Sunday all,
L

HI folks.

Sounds like everyone is dealing with alot of stress-work, finances, moving and the challenges of eating out or with friends. Liannie, thanks for letting me know about how you lost so much weight without set backs. I also believe that hermit-hood is the most guarantied way to lose weight. Just not a very practical or satisfying way to live. I gained so much weight dealing with the stress of teaching, supporting and living with 4 over active teens ( who are now very responsible, delightful adults) Yes, Karina you will get your social life back as children get older.

I get a real pressure build up when around "comfort foods or drink". It is like I can only refuse eating caloric items so many times in a short period of time. The more frequently I see them, the more they chips away at my resolve. I also find no matter how hard I work at moderation when out I almost always gain. I can taste all the salt added to everything.

At first when I ate out, I would feel entitled to over indulge as I had been soo good at home-my type of food tantrum girlythin. How could one meal, day or trip cause so much damage? Well, it always came with such a regain.
Then I sort of watched it-no bread ect-still had big regains. Last trip really really watched and still gained 1/2 lb in 2 days, I really believe that to be water.

I must return to planning and uck-cooking everything I eat. We do eati very healthy at home-sometimes a bit boring tho. The pain of my joints keep reminding me to lose weight. Hope to under 300 by Christmas

thanks to everyone for all the posting. It is much more fun than doing a journal as love to hear about everyone's struggles and successes and feedback. Just writing about everything helps me so much. L if you find more books about mind changing let me know. I have become more postive due to meditation. We can change our attitudes. It is just how that is trick for each of us.

keep on thining
sue

Sue, you're right: hermit-hood will get the weight off but is no longer practical for me either. I joke with my other 40-or-50something overweight friends that somehow the food just tastes better now that we're older, but I think we're just more foodcentric than we were before. Back when I lost all the weight in 1989, we did a lot of beer drinking, barbecuing, and tailgating type of activities that were mainly centered around sports and what the men liked. Now that I'm older, I've developed my own excuses to drink and overeat--martini nights with the girls, wine-soaked dinners with other couples--which might be more sophisticated but are still way too caloric nonetheless. Problem is, I don't want to give them up for months on end! They're pretty much all I have beyond job and home. So I struggle like you do. I can only pass up so much so often.

And yeah, we gotta cook. In fact, I have to get up from the sofa in a few minutes, clean the kitchen and then make 3 days' worth of meals so that I dont eat something spontaneous and stupid during the week. May I add that my dear naturally-thin husband will be playing computer golf while I'm slaving away? Dr. Beck would say to give up the "it's not fair" thinking, say "oh well!" and just get to it. And I will, because I've got to lose this weight. I've got to. There's no way around it. And I want to.

I'll fish around out in cyberspace on my next computer break and send along some mindchanging titles if I find any.

L

Hi all,

back to the scales-I have had a 4 lb gain over the last 2 weeks and really want to get it all off.( plus an additional 150 lbs) I know I have not had 3500(4)=14,000 extra cals during the last 2 weeks. A friend gave me a tandori rub-had it all over the measured bbq chicken last night and gain a lb. Now wondering if there was salt in the mixture. I have made some great changes using the Beck book, but it sure isn't easy for me to lose-age and poor mobility are taking their toll.

Liannie you mentioned how you gain after you got married-a sense of celebration. I have the same pattern. 1st husband-very controlling, underlying sense of anger, hated me being 35 lbs overweight after the birth of our son. -found nothing physically attractive about me then( I am 5' 10'') it really wasn't that bad). 2nd husband, easy going, mellow and raised in cal wine county-ah yes the wine soaked dinners.(1st husband there was no alcohol or sweets in the home) 2nd husband is truly an adult hyper active guy-never stops and burns off 3-4.000 cals a day. I kept up with him on the food intake, but only burned off 2,000 a day.Years later he is thin and active and I am large, slow and too inactive. It is kind of like getting old, how did this happen so quick-I was just 40 and weighed so much less.

Karina, Stacy and Girlythin-Hope all is going well in your busy lives.

sue

girly, good to hear your feeling better. We all go through those rough periods then get back on it. Too bad we couldn't just skip those times, this whole weight loss thing would go so much faster!

liannie, I really struggled with fast food too. At my worst point I was going sometimes 6x a week. I just slowly cut back and now I only eat out with my husband and no more mcdonalds or burger king type. It really is a slow proccess, the stuff is seriously like a drug! And yea, cooking is a pain! I can't remember the last time hubby cooked a meal!

sue, we love having you here as well! Your posts are always so very insightful and thoughful! Sorry about you gain, but I agree it's probably mostly water weight. Just remember what Beck says, all a gain is is an oppurtunity to look at your plan and reevaluate. And it says nothing about who YOU are!

Things are going well here. I'm down almost 20 pounds since starting BDS! After being "stuck" at the same weight for a year or more that's just ridiculous. The fact that a few simple ideas (losing weight is more important than a cheeseburger, it's not normal to be uncomfortable after eating, thin people don't turn to food, etc) can have that HUGE of an impact is amazing. For once my goal seems attainable and maintainable.

Things are going good on the running front as well. I have another 5K coming up this Saturday which I'm looking forward to. My goal is to finish under 30 minutes. I also decided to do a TRIATHLON in October. How crazy is that? It's the shortest distance possible for a tri. 400 meter swim, 9 mile bike, 1.5 mile run. I'd like to do the longer one (all the distances doubled) but I'm limited by the swim. I'm still learning and have yet to actually swim in the open water.

Hope everyone's well! Keep on Beck-in' ladies!

Quick Hello Ladies,

Stacy, you are KICKIN BUTT! I am so impressed with your exercise regimen. I'm just now building back up over the last 2 months after about 3 years of only sporadic working out (that darn courtship and wedding again!), and will likely never be at your level. But you are SO inspiring!

Sue, age and poor mobility are a problem. My post-50 weight loss attempts are long, grueling and only seem to cover short distances. Do you have access to a pool? A water aerobics class would get you moving painlessly? Or how about Sweatin with the Oldies tapes? That's an all-sizes low-impact way to get started. Unfortunately for us over40s, it's all about the exercise. Oh yeah, and consistency, and patience, and all that stuff that takes time....

As for me, I did okay yesterday staying within my calorie allotment. The job is gearing up to get on my last nerve again this week, but I'm determined NOT to overeat over it. I just can't (NO CHOICE). I can't go through all this suffering only to undo it with 2-3 crazy binge-filled days. It's not worth it.

Shouts out to Girly, Karina and anybody else out there!

L

HI everyone,

Stacy you have made life changing skills. Your exercising is increditable and will continue as it is your new study and career. Good luck with the swimming. I never swam in the ocean-too much undertow in Northern Cal. Love lake swimming-no chemicals. What Beck skills were the most important to you? 20 lbs change is great.

Liannie thanks for the care, swimming is my one consistant exercise. There is a lovely outdoor expensive pool about 20 minutes away. It is luxury -both gas and money, but I keep going. Plus water resistance burns so many cals.
Your work sounds like alot of stress-hope it gets better soon. I never mind any type of work-occassionally the politics, egos and slackers at work would drive me crazy.-other times it was just the tough time folks were going thur, (I have been a teacher and social worker, domestic violence worker)-. Good for you for dealing with the tension without overeating. Figure out relaxes you (not foood or drink) then let me know too! I always wanted my husband to be able to give massages-he doesn't.

well I lost 1 lb-I figure this is the 4th time I lost this lb in 2 weeks. I have 3lbs more to go to reach were I was 2 weeks ago. It does feel like a stubborn diet time. I feel so unhealthy I want to eat correctly, yet I want a quicker pay off for resisting old comfort foods. I feel just seeing, smelling and thinking about alot of high cal foods causes a gain. A bit of a rough diet patch for me, great fun socially, -however it is now a quiet "hermit" like time for a couple of weeks.
Best skinny wishes to all
sue