Here is what I do, I also try to manage my "portions" as best as I can.
At home I use a salad plate rather than a dinner plate, that helps me not feel like I am not eating anything because my plate looks empty!
When I eat out I ask for a "to go" container right away and put in at least 1/2 of my meal, sometimes 3/4 of it depending on how big it is. I also try to eat all the salad that comes first, then I am not as hungry for the rest of the food. Then you also have a "lunch" for the next day.
Breakfast is about the same, I eat using a SMALL bowl rather than a regular size one. If you have to buy yourself a smaller place setting just for you. Make it special and pretty that way you dont feel deprived. I always make myself plenty of vegis, my family sounds to be like yours. I pick through what I make and get the healthier things out and eat more of them than the other stuff. Also, small changes in the cooking will help reduce fat/calories and if you make them a little at a time your family should not notice a difference and then after it has been a few weeks, you can reduce more...they tend to get used to a particular taste, and before you know it, they are actually eating healthier and not even noticing.
At work I always bring lunch, a healthy frozen meal, or a cup of soup, something that I know the ingrediants/nutrients of. If I get busy and dont have lunch along, I only order a salad from the cafe next door, and they know that I dont want Cheese on it and little special ordering criteria. That also helps me feel less guilty when I am home and dont eat much lettuce since it goes bad fast since I am the only one eating it.
Also a little trick I have learned over the last 2 years, when I eat at my in-laws (or anywhere else like a buffet or party) I spread out the little bit that I do take over the plate so it looks FULL, that way people do not ask my why I am "not eating" when infact I am just not 5lbs of food like the rest of them..lol I do not PILE my plate therefore, I mustnt be eating....go figure!
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