Happy Thanksgiving Fiddler, LaDean, Mom2mollie, Obi, Jo, CherryAutumn, and anyone else I might have missed. Not sure I'm ready for this. I've not been feeling too well lately but hope to get through tomorrow by God's grace. I'm sure everyone especially DH will pitch in and help.

Something to think about.

LEAVE THE STUFFING FOR THE TURKEY:
TRY MINDFUL EATING INSTEAD

By Michelle May, M.D.

This holiday season, experience maximal pleasure from all
the wonderful food and special occasions. By eating
mindfully you'll eat less and enjoy it more. The key to
mindful eating is to notice the details. Pretend you're
writing an article about your Thanksgiving or other holiday
meal for a gourmet magazine. The following tips are from Am
I Hungry?® workshop six:

* Focus on the people you are sharing your meal. Engage in
interesting conversations. Ask questions and really listen
to your companions.

* Notice how hungry you are. If you aren't hungry, become
aware of the reasons you feel like eating anyway. If it is
for social reasons, then be social for awhile longer then
eat when you get hungry.

* Decide how you want to feel when you are done eating.
Stuffed and miserable? Or comfortable and content? Then
fill your plate or order accordingly.

* Mentally describe the table setting and the ambiance.
Notice the aromas, colors, textures and presentation of the
meal.

* Before eating, take a moment to be truly thankful about
where your food came from, including all the people who
invested their time, effort and talent to get it from farm
to plate.

* Choose food carefully by asking yourself what you want
and need. Don't waste your appetite on cranberry sauce
shaped like a can if you don't love it!

* Put one small bite in your mouth. You only have taste
buds on your tongue so the flavors of a large bite of food
are lost on your teeth, cheeks and the roof of your mouth.

* Notice the texture and flavors of the food on your tongue
then slowly begin to chew the food. Breathe while you chew
since flavors other than salty, sweet, bitter and sour
actually come from the aromas.

* Set your fork down between bites. If you begin to load
your next forkful your attention will be on the next bite,
not the one you are eating now. And if you are focused on
the next bite of food instead of the one you are eating
now, you won't stop eating until there are no more
forkfuls.

* Sit for a moment and let the flavors and experience
linger before you take the next bite.

* Notice as the food gently fills your stomach. Pause for
several minutes in the middle of eating to reconnect with
your hunger and fullness levels and enjoyment of the meal.

* Food is abundant this time of year (actually every time
of year for most of us!) Remind yourself that you can eat
more later or at another meal so there is no need to eat it
all now and ruin the experience by being too full.

Mindful eating is a great way to enjoy Thanksgiving and
other meals more while eating less. You'll be thankful that
you did!

In Health, Enjoy!
Michelle May, M.D.

Happy Thanksgivng everyone! And there is a lot to be thankful for besides food!
I am feeling very unlike myself this morning, because I am normally not a traditional holiday celebrator, but on a whim I invited a couple of friends whom I haven't seen in a couple of years, who also don't do family stuff, over for Thanksgiving, hence, spent yesterday doing last-minute shopping for traditional Thanksgiving ingredients!! But I enjoy cooking, actually more than I enjoy eating, so it should work out fine. So there will be four of us altogether, and one person says he'll clean up the mess! Perfect for me. The only traditional TG thing I really like is dressing. I make mine with about 10 ingredients, kind of spicy, and including oysters. Also by the time I have cooked it all I don't have much of a desire to eat it. Very appropriate post by Michelle May, Carol! Cranberry sauce shaped like a can - HA!!! Funny. Does anyone really love it?
I hope everyone has a very lovely day!!!
jo

No, I don't like the canned stuff but my SIL made some fresh with orange juice and it was really good. I'm with you, Jo, after all that cooking I can hardly eat. I think we had 18 for dinner. Today my daughter and SIL are painting my kitchen in exchange for me making her a dress. Better get busy.

It seems kind of lonely on here lately. I guess some may be out of town this weekend and not near a computer. I could use some encouragement to keep going. I know a certain weight is not important but i need to be Healthy. I want to be around while my little children grow up and to be a good example for them. I don't want them to have the same relationship i have with food.

Cheerful Winter greetings to CherryAutmn
 

Good morning, CherryAutumn,

Sending you huge waves of positive encouragement this morning. I'm not a poster on this thread - I hang around the Beck Diet Solution thread - but I'm an ardent reader here because you Intuitive Eating folk are onto something that I'd like to have.

I'd love to have a sane relationship with food. And your goal of teaching that to your kids is super. Isn't it a fun thought to believe that we could have a generation of kids who didn't have our food hangups? Starting with eliminating, "Clean you plates; there are children starving in China."

Have a mindful eating day today.

__________________
XXXXXXX 7 XXXXXXX 14 XXXXXXX 21 XXXXXXX 28 XXXX||| 35 ||||||| 42
Completed Beck Program-day 32. 10 to go. Keep going!

Hi CherryAutumn, I know what you mean about this thread being slow sometimes. If everyone would post more often it would pick up. Bill, What is the Beck Diet about?

Forgot to ask, Bill, how did you lose your weight? I looked at some of your old posts but couldn't find it.

Here is a link that might be a help to someone.

http://www.mindfuleating.org/

I'm all over the place!
 

Since I've joined 3FC's, I've been all over the place. I've been trying to find a new lifestyle, not a "diet". I don't like being told I can't have something....it makes me want it more. I don't like weighing and measuring....it makes eating feel like a science project. I don't want to count "points" either. :(
I do like to read labels though, and I do want to know what is going into my body. I don't want to pay extra for "diet" foods like fat free cheese and sour cream, nor do I want to eat these "foods". They taste gross and if something tastes like plastic, it can't be good for you can it?:?:

I joined WW, hoping to get a little more structure and support in my life. I fell in love with the members on the first day (it's more like a senior citizen meeting!) and I want to keep going. I just don't want to follow the plan. I don't like it. It's too much work for me. I like the core plan's approach of learning when you are full or hungry. I think that is what appealed to me the most. I think that's what inspired me to research intuitive eating and low density foods. I couldn't help but laugh after doing all the research, because my little italian grandmother (who lived to be 91) was a gourmet cook and lived this lifestyle her whole life! Her favorite thing was to cook gourmet meals and her favorite saying was...."everything in moderation!" She would prepare course after course on Sunday, but only eat a small portion of each. Each meal ended with a last course of fruit, nuts, some kind of dessert and black coffee (with sambuca added). She was never fat, nor was she skinny...she was just right.

All my years of dieting, and I'm right back to Grandma Lucy's sage advice..."Everything in Moderation!"

I think this is going to be the approach for me.

Missingmyerica - Welcome. I think that your grandma was so right. I think it is kind of funny because my Grandma Diane does the exact same thing. She has always been small (not skinny) and she eats when she is hungry and never heaping plates. And her meals were always delicious.

I find that i do the best when i give myself options. I like options in other areas of life to. I love to draw and right and i love to have a good selection of pens and colors. LOL So i am trying to give myself options in what i eat.

:welcome3: MIssingmyerica, My mom was the same way........lived to be 90 and a moderate person. I think you would enjoy the link I posted above. I haven't even taken the time to fully explore it but I looked at it and it looked interesting. CherryAutumn, talking about art made me think of my sewing experience. I sewed a dress for my daughter the other day while she and her DH painted my kitchen. It took me all day but I was hardly hungry . ha!

'ello everyone. :) Just thought I'd drop in and say 'ello.

so, 'ello. :)

I found a great way to lose weight and I thought I"d share. It's called, BEING BROKE. haha, we used to eat out most of the week, now we are so in debt and we're putting all our money on paying off our credit cards. We eat healthy dinners at home almost every night and go out maybe once or twice a week if that. I lost 15 lbs when we first started eating at home without even really trying. NOW of course, I'm putting some effort forth. I'm home alone all day and find myself eating out of boredom.

So I'm watching that. Made a huge pot of veggie soup to eat during the afternoons/evenings so I'm not pigging out on junk food. Also, only eating when I'm absolutely sure I'm actually hungry.

:)

Hi Lottie. We don't eat out much because we are about a half an hour from good restaraunts and even fast food. Maybe that's good. I stay home all day, too, and find it hard not to snack. Today I sliced and orange in the afternoon and that was a victory for me. I have one teenage daughter still at home who loves snack type food. She is the youngest of 10.

I have been so down and unmotivated. I am afraid i will just keep gaining and gaining. I don't know what to do with myself. I feel like i have no control or will power. What have you ladies used as motivation and does it work?

Going on another diet is enough motivation for me. Whenever I do that I always gain back whatever I lost right away and feel terrible. Then I level off and start losing slowly again and wonder whatever posessed me to go on another diet......less than a month ago it was because I was going to see some of my high school friends that I hadn't seen in 20 to 40 yr. ha!

Welcome, Missingmyerica and Lottie!
CherryAutumn - I am sorry you are feeling down. Good question about motivation. I have gone through very long periods of non-motivation. Like YEARS. I think I am just coming out of one of those periods now. I've been going to the fitness center, and reading a lot about weight training, pilates, and nutrition. If I give myself the appropriate inputs it helps me. I really am influenced by my environment, more than I like to admit, so I am trying to make it so that my environment is motivational. I just bought a new vegan cookbook with pretty pictures in it. The pretty pictures of nutritious foods help me to think in the right direction, even though I have not yet made any of the recipes. 3fc helps too; seeing so many other people focused on health. I guess I am trying to feed my head appropriately.

Jo, how's the challenge with Fiddler going?

I have lost zero weight/inches. So I guess I need to save up my money for New Years! Either that or hope for a miracle!

Hi,

I am 64 years old and been dieting off and on since my early 20's. I was thin for the first 22 years of my life. Didn't eat unless I was hungry. Then everyone fussed at me because I didn't eat enough. I hated eating breakfast, but was pushed into eating it because "It is the most important meal of the day" you know. I actually learned to eat "normal" and gained all this weight and I am so tired of diets. I lose and gain. Got back to 150 lb once just eating when I was hungry. When I mentioned on another group here that I was thinking about just not dieting any more and just eating only when I was hungry, someone mentioned Intuitive Eating. I've never heard of it until today. Then I found you here. I am curious to learn if any one else is on this group that is around my age doing this and does it really work?

I have read some of your posts and I feel the same way many of you do. I just don't want any more of this "can't have this; can't have that"... "have to eat this and have to eat that". Tried WW, but they say you have to eat all the points. Some days I didn't want ALL THE POINTS!!!! I just don't think you should force yourself to eat when you don't want it and most diets say you have to eat what is on their plans.

Sorry this is so long. I'm just desparate. I need to lose, but I need a new way without having to eat all the food they say you have to eat. The only time I've ever really lost weight and felt good was when I ate less food. I know they think I cheat even had a doctor accuse me of it, but gain weight instead of lose when I follow their plans and eat all the food they say I have to eat. Thanks for your help.

Welcome Patty. I am 58 and have lost 20lb with IE with 40lb to go. Maybe if I wouldn't try to diet every once in awhile I'd be further along. But the dieting world has a strong pull. Your post could have been mine. We like long posts here.

Thanks Carol for the warm welcome and sharing. It has been so nice today. I ordered the book to learn more about this way of eating and hope I can learn to get rid of diet thinking. I printed out the info that was on the IE website. I started out with a Slim-Fast this morning for breakfast before I found the email from a friend telling me about IE. I ate dinner around 2 pm because DH likes to eat somewhere around 2 or 3. I finished off a diet dessert I had made a few days ago. You know what was interesting? We went to the store to get DH his favorite candy he keeps around. He is thin (normal weight) and I usually like to pick up a little some thing too, but now that I am free to eat it I found that I didn't want any candy. Usually I like to buy Christmas candy and I looked but I didn't want it. It just didn't look good to me. Also checked calories on something I wanted in comparison to the diet and found that the real thing had 10 calories less than the diet. Go figure.

Do you eat breakfast? My Daddy used to say he could go all day without eating, but once he ate something he had a hard time stopping. DH has said to me many times "all you think about is food". It is true. When you diet all you think about is what you can or cannot eat or what you have to eat. I think this is going to be just what I've been looking for and fun. I want to lose the weight, but I don't want to have to think about food ALL THE TIME.

Please feel free to share with me anything you think will help. Looking forward to getting to know you and others here.

This happened to me as well, I like to snack in the evenings before dinner (we eat VERY late) and I got a bowl of those olestra fat free chips (which leave a vaseline like film in your mouth) but they are ok, I ate a few and poured the rest in the bag. It's that whole, "If you can't have it you really want it" thing. Now that I can have snacks I"m not as interested...

I find myself realizing after a few bites i don't even want this. Then if i sit and think of what i do want i eat some and then feel more satisfied i don't keep looking.

Welcome Patty!
I think it is so silly when diet plans "make" people eat more than they want to!
Also, one of the reasons most diet plans don't work for me is that I am kind of quirky, I think we all are in different ways - and any plan that makes assumptions or takes an average of what works for most, isn't going to work optimally for any individual.
For example, I don't like to snack. Some people do. But a diet that tells me I have to eat a cracker or something else I don't even like, at 2 pm is not making it for me. Also, I need to eat in the morning, but not traditional breakfast foods. Any diet that instructs me to have a poached egg and toast is not making it for me. Some people prefer not to eat in the morning at all. I don't think they should "have" to.
There is the often repeated warning that if you don't eat enough early in the day that you will go bonkers and overeat later. For some people, yes, that is true, but it doesn't apply to me.
I like the concept of IE because it lets people be themselves, and not fall into some universal prescription of dietary advice.
jo

Yesterday I made some chocolate muffins and forgot to put in the oil. After tasting one I threw the rest away, then made a new batch. In the old days I would have found a way to eat the bad muffins but not now. I almost do better when I go by the feel of my clothes rather than relying on a scale. Really the only way I've ever lost a great deal of weight is when I've been seriously ill. Every diet I ever went on, even a diet center where you weighed every week, I only lost about 15lb. When I found out about IE I thought....this makes sense.

I am so confused and at sea. I know that I need to lose weight. I was 291 pounds when I stepped on the scale this week. This scares me so much. I know why I am overweight. Because I overeat and am very inactive. I have looked into IE, but all the books say that you may gain weight while you are letting go of the "diet mentality" and just the thought of topping 300 is enough to send me into a panic.

I have always been "overweight", I was 130 pounds in the sixth grade. But I was never "fat" until I topped 200 pounds. I carry weight very well and people always guess that I am 30-40 pounds lighter than I actually am. So, I know that I probably shouldn't judge myself my the scale and the BMI charts, but its hard not to.

Just this week, I spent over $200 on new diet products, the 6 Week Body Makeover and then when I felt that it was too restrictive I spent money signing up for a Medical Weight Loss Clinic and buying all of their nutrients, which I am supposed to start on Monday.

Before I head out shopping and buy all of the "diet" food on the lists they gave me, I was searching here to see if anyone had done this type of plan, had any advice or some recipes. Instead, this thread popped up and I decided to take a look.

I feel drawn to IE, like it is the "right" thing to do...but the work is hard and not structured the way that diets are, so I feel like I am not anchored when I try to embrace it.

This whole thing is so frustrating!

Hi Peachinabrownbag - welcome!
I know what you mean, IE is not structured. Some people need structure, I am too much of a rebel for that :smug:
But those nutrients you bought are probably really good!
I like all your determination and all your mini-goals!
If I were to go on a specific structured plan, I know I'd still tweak it a little bit, like not eating something I hated or NOT eating when I had no desire to.

Wishing you success in all your goals and I hope to get to know you here!
jo

hi everyone!

i like the intuitive eating plan better. i've tried counting calories and ww, but i go off of it and feel like i spend too much time thinking about food and worrying about what to eat.

lately due to some stress and depression, i've been eating pretty mindlessly for the past 3 months and not exercising. it's time to get back to the basics for me.

i'd much rather eat when i'm hungry and stop when i'm comfortable. going on a diet for me puts such a focus on food. i want to just live my life and make healthier choices!

Hello all,
I've been reading all the postings, just enjoying the support.
Happily I've been maintaining lately, just trying to eat when I'm hungry. We've been getting our house all fixed up to sell, and been up at 7am and to bed at 1 or 2 am... sometimes I get ravenous at 11 pm, and used to I would have denied myself and then probably gorged later. But I just find a healthy snack (just had an apple and some popcorn) and relieve the hunger. I haven't lost, but haven't gained, either.
The hardest thing about this is when we meet with family to eat out and I'm not hungry at all... any tips from anyone here on when that happens? I think that's the reason I've been maintaining and not losing. Also I haven't had time to exercise--working my tush off fixing up the house!
Blessings!

Fixing up a house is a great way to lose weight. My DD has lost about 10lb and she's not overweight. As for eating out with friends maybe something small like a cup of soup or tea would be ok. Just tell them you're not hungry. It gets easier as time goes on.

Carol - thanks so very much for the reference on another post about mindfuleating.org. It has been really helpful. I always liked WW core plan idea of eating if you were hungry and stopping when I was finished. I wanted to use it with the pts system, but met lots of opposition on their website especially from those counting pts. This morning I remembered that core plan says to check your hunger before you eat on a scale of 0 to 10. Also don't remember if it was WW who said use he 5 minute theory where you think you are hungry or want something and instead of eating it right away, you wait 5 minutes. If you still want it in 5 minutes, then you probably are hungry and should go ahead and eat it.


peachinabrownbag - Welcome here. I too am new here. Just learned of IE a few days ago. I was afraid of eating like this and gaining too. Then I remembered reading some where on a diet I went on once that said that for a few days you might eat more, but that you would finally slow down and eat less. I think that as long as you don't use it as an excuse to binge, I think you could do it. I know I had to ask myself why I wanted to do IE. I want to learn how to eat right and feel like I'm in control. I am tired of going out to eat or going to peoples homes and trying to stay OP with a diet that doesn't allow me to enjoy eating out or eating with friends.

I met a woman one time who told us at a diet group I was in that she hated to burst our bubble, but that she ate whatever she wanted. She not only lost weight but maintained it this way. We thought she was absolutely nuts. She said "If I want a banana split, I have a banana split". She said, "I just don't eat anything else with it". She told us that some time that was all she ate that day. Now after learning about IE and reading about no-diet sites what she said makes sense. I have done this many times when we travel and the strange this is that I didn't gain weight. May I suggest that you look at website mindfuleating.org that Carol guided us to on this thread. I think it will help you decide what to do. It has really been a BIG help to me. It has worked for others so it can work for us.

Jo - I too have become a rebel in my eating. I found myself wanting the very foods a structured diet says I can't have. IE automatically takes care of that problem. I am a snacker especially at night (retired and free to stay up late and get up late). IE gives me the freedom to eat little snacks when I'm hungry even in the evening. It just works for me all the way around.

Thanks for the welcomes. I look forward to getting to know all of you. Hope we all wil have a great IE day.

Patty

mom2mollie - First let me say what a precious baby. Is that Mollie?
I agree with Carol. You could have a cup of soup or tea if you want it. Also want to elaborate on why I think you will find it easier if you say you are not hungry. I know from my own experience with diets that when you say things like "I can't have that" or "I'm on a diet" etc people have a tendency to try to talk you into eating some thing any way... especially things you don't want to eat for some reason. I don't know why people do it, but I absolutely hate it when they say "Oh come on... 1 bite won't hurt you". No one bite won't hurt us especially now that we are do IE, however, we are learning not to eat when we aren't hungry we don't need to eat if we truly don't want to. And I believe we should feel like we have the right to make that decision. Just my thoughts on the subject. Hope my thoughts help.

Patty

Hello again, Intuitive Eaters! And a big welcome to all the new posters! :)

CherryAutumn (What a pretty name, btw), you DO have control. The ironic thing about diets is that they want you to GIVE UP control by following some external plan that is someone else's idea of what a person should eat to lose weight, instead of listening to what your own body is telling you.

When I hit bottom I was somewhere around 300 pounds (a little heavier than the "before" picture I'm posting). I had that same feeling that I couldn't stop myself from gaining, and the idea of losing a substantial amount of weight seemed impossible. So I stopped focusing on the goal and focused on the process instead. Common sense told me that if I ate only half as much as what I was currently eating and started exercising regularly, I should lose weight, or at least stop gaining. And if not, then I still wouldn't be any worse off than before. I also started focusing on the quality of what I was eating, rather than the quantity. I learned to cook the kind of food you find in 5-star restaurants (I can't afford to go out for that kind of food, LOL) and found that I could be satisfied with a very small amount of really good food, whereas I could eat 5 Lean Cuisines and still feel like I was missing something. I worked on becoming a food snob, telling myself that I deserved only the best, and that my body wasn't meant to be a garbage disposal. After dragging myself to the gym half a dozen times to work out, I found that it really was starting to make me feel better and that I liked it.

It takes control to deprive yourself. It doesn't take control to do something nice for yourself. That change in attitude made all the difference for me.

Here are some before/current pics. They were taken about 1 year apart.

:welcome3: Sternfan. Lets us know how you are doing with IE. Fiddler, I really like your new picture. Looks like IE is still working for you. I enjoy reading your posts, Patty, and hope you keep sharing. That's what keeps us all going.

Fiddler - Thank you so much for your post. Your right i am not a garbage disposal and sometimes i really do treat myself that way. I stuff something in my mouth as fast as i can thinking if no one sees it it didn't happen. LOL yeah i know doesn't make much sense. I obviously see it when it adds inches to my body.

It is nice to see all the new members posting. I guess in a way i am still a new member to. I really don't have faith in this new way of eating yet. I feel ashamed to say that. I am going to keep trying though and the ladies on here will help me do it.

Hi Everybody

This is day 4 for me on IE. I have to admit I have probably over done it the first few day, however, the nice thing is that I a beginning to relax with it. I think it is because I can now eat the way that was normal for me for the first 22 years of my life. Got up this morning and wasn't hungry so I did not eat breakfast. Had my coffee and then had lunch. I have had little mini-snacks this afternoon and I feel great. I did gain a little like someone said we might, but I think that will begin to come back down soon. Just wanted to check in real quick and let you know how I'm doing. I really enjoy reading your posts and how things are going or have gone for y'all. See ya later.

Hi CherryAutumn and Patty. I have a bad cold and it seems to take me about 3 weeks to get over it ever since I've been taking prednisone. I always seem to get sick when I reduce the dosage. It happens every winter. You'd think I'd be getting used to it by now but no. My DH got the vaporizer going for me at 1am last night and I quit coughing. I still manage to have an appetite!

Way to go of your first 4 days, Patty! I'm also learning to skip the "most important meal of the day" if I'm not hungry (or until I get hungry). I must say, I feel so FREE with this way of eating. Mollie's been getting me up in the middle of the night the past few nights-- when she gets hungry, she needs to eat. THere's so much I can learn from my little munchkin about that!
Blessings!

hi carol, so sorry your sick. that predizone made me gain wt. hope it doesn[t you. i read in a home remedy book i have that to rub vicks on bottom of feet and helps coughing quit. so would be worth a try.. hope your well soon. LaDean