[BelovedWarrior]

I'm BACK!

Well, if you look at my profile I've been here before a very long time ago. I think it's been 18 months or more since I last signed in. Like some others, I ended up not maintaining progress, by my own choices of course.

I’ve started … stopped, started … stopped, started … you get the gist. When I was using 3FC’s it was very helpful. The support is fantastic!

So, why now? Why am I back now? The bare naked truth … I need to live! This which I’m doing is not living. Here’s the recent story:

November 1st, I was doing what's called a Daniel Fast and my plan was to do it through the 21st. So it would have ultimately been a 21-day fast. The Daniel Fast is taken from the Bible where Daniel did not want to eat the rich food of the other people so he asked to be served vegetables and I don't know what else. So basically, I was eating fruits, vegetables, nuts, and drinking water. So no coffee, no dairy, no meat.

On Tuesday, November 10th, I was eating in a restaurant with a friend. We sat for an hour and a half, and when I got out of the restaurant booth ... I popped out of the booth. I was shocked! Typically when I sit in a car, in a chair, or in a restaurant booth ... I hate the thought of getting up because it creates so much pain. And when I do get up I usually have to lean on something, shift my weight from one foot to the other till I can get moving comfortably, which is with pain even though I say comfortably. So when I popped out of that booth, I was dumbfounded.

So after I left the restaurant and I'm in my car I'm screaming out to God ... But I don't want to not eat meat, and I don't want it not eat cheese, and I don't want to not ... Etc.

Fast forward two weeks to Tuesday, the 24th, I did a copious amount of cleaning and picking up in my apartment because there were people coming into the apartment on Wednesday. Needless to say, I could barely walk by Tuesday night. I also realized, while cleaning I would run out of breath, but the reason was because I would hold my breath because of the pain. Wednesday --- horrible pain. Thursday still great amount of pain. I went to my sister’s to celebrate. I spent Friday and Saturday at my sister’s. I dreaded the thought of walking up the steps to go to bed, because I hurt so bad. At one point my sister said to me, something to the effect, I don't know if you realize it or not but you groan and moan a lot. I said, yeah I know ... because I'm in so much pain and I'm holding my breath and when I let my breath out is the moans and groans.

It was my intent that on December 1st I would again begin a Daniel Fast (DF) and add items into my diet to see what would affect my pain level and then eliminate that from my diet.

So, on December 1st, I began a DF. I then searched plant-based documentaries on the TV to watch; because, that's basically what a DF is.

Years ago, I watched Forks Over Knives, and a plant-based diet seemed very beneficial. This night, when I searched the TV for plant-based documentaries, the documentary THE GAME CHANGERS was listed, so I watched it. You've heard people say mind-blowing ... Literally, THIS movie/documentary is MIND-BENDING!

It bends your mind to all that which you thought was real. I still just shake my head.

So, on December 2nd, I take the month to research and prepare. Then, January 1st will be the beginning of my future Lifestyle. I expect a FULL life without pain, with more energy, and the byproduct will be losing weight ... but that's not the reason for it. The reason? So I can have life and fulfill things I'm supposed to be doing.

Also, I have accepted that I am HIGHLY addicted to food, and if I don't do something about it I won't have much of a life in longevity or quality.

I sent the above information to my family members. My sister responded, after seeing me the weekend of Thanksgiving, that she was concerned she wouldn’t have me around for many Thanksgivings.

My niece stated I need to remember to plan some cheat days so I don’t feel deprived. I understand this concept but for me… here was my response:

"I appreciate your suggestion about "cheat" days, however for me, should I go off plan it won't be a cheat day but a choice day. But again, for me they will be very far and few between if any for two main reasons:

In the fall of 2003, I weighed 242 lb. and I joined weight watchers. I got down to probably 212 or less, I don't remember, but I remember when I had lost 25 lb. I nearly started to cry. I didn't realize how affected I was by my weight. I never broke the 200 lb. barrier. I began snacking and eating foolishly roundabout September 2004, and as you remember I stayed with Mama the last 10 weeks she was with us, and she did say to me that she was so proud of me and she was hoping that I would not allow myself to be set back. Well obviously I didn't keep that promise.

Fast forward 6 years to the end of 2010 ... I studied and read the book on South Beach. So early 2011, at 270# something, I began losing weight again, lost about 35 lb. by April, and for my birthday I decided I should go have pizza with a friend. Mind you, while eating the pizza and after the pizza my stomach didn't feel that good but that didn't hinder me from basically falling off track.

Then in early 2016, I had had enough! I cleaned out all the food in my refrigerator and freezer and gave it to somebody... And I decided to do a jump start by using "Ideal Protein" (IP) which was a shake and packaged food product, along with 8 oz of meat and 2 cups of vegetables each day. I began at 294, and in 6 weeks I had lost 20 lb. I have never been one who wanted to rely on packaged food, like Jenny Craig or one of those plans, which IP was one of those plans ... so I never intended to stay on it forever. I knew what needed to be done ... I just needed to do it. In fact, if you ask anybody who's overweight, they could tell you more about nutrition than most people could .... even those who've studied it. At this point, I was craving cottage cheese and an apple. And I have to say that really did make me quite excited because I wasn't craving Fritos and ice cream. So, my mind set was good. In fact, I came to realize that losing weight and getting healthy is 99.9% mindset. In October I was down to a size 18 from a 26, and I weighed about 229. I was traveling to Texas and Arizona and started dabbling again BELIEVING, and telling myself, that once I get home I'll go back to my plan.

NEVER HAPPENED!

Oh, I've tried and tried different things, never really could get going again, mentally evidently...

So, you see reason #1 --- going off-plan really doesn't help me AT ALL.

Reason #2 ... which basically pairs with #1. I am ADDICTED to food ... plain and simple. Give me an inch, I'll take a mile. I'm sure some people could have a cheat day. But like any addiction, if you play in that field you're going to have a hard time getting out of it.

Case in point, if you're addicted to drinking and you quit drinking ...
If a person is addicted to cigarettes, they can't very well tell themselves ... I'm just going to have one cigarette and then go back to not smoking. If a person's addicted to drugs they can't dabble in that playground and have a cheat day cuz it'll take them right back to doing drugs.

And, just like weight, every time you go back to it, it gets worse the next time around.

So, as I said if you don't have an addiction you could probably allow yourself to have a cheat day, but I have an addiction and I don't want to lose ... I want to WIN!

I'm not even doing this for weight loss. That'll be a happy byproduct for me. I'm doing this so I can live life and live it more fully. This is literally true! The pain I deal with, on a daily basis, is immobilizing.

Having a happy mouth cuz something tastes good is not worth having an unhappy body that can't walk.

Thank you, I love you all, and I'm looking forward to being able to do more things together on a physical note. I mean wouldn't it be great to go bowling, or taking hikes? I would love to play tennis again or ride horse... I'm too young to be shut up in a building because I can't move."

So, if you’ve stuck with me this long, there is the story as to WHY I’m back. And, I have to say 3FC’s is a great place. People are so supportive and I need that. Don’t we all?

So --- Here’s to LIFE and Living!!