[Lynnfit]

Hey there! I am so excited I found this forum, and I'm hoping to add support to my weight loss journey! My name is Lynn, and I last weighed myself in November. I was 168 pounds.

One thing I believe in when it comes to weight loss, is understanding other people's stories. When I'm at the gym, I see girls that are similar to me in size and shape, and I always wonder- what's her story? Can I be inspired by her? Or can I inspire her?

Did she used to be thin and fit, but go through something difficult that made her gain weight? Or did she grow up being "chubby," and cry herself to sleep because she felt unattractive? Or is she comfortable and just staying in healthy?

But, we can't necessarily ask someone that, unless it comes up in conversation. So I love forums like these, because I can read stories, take advice, and pay it forward.

Here's my story.

Three years ago, I was 165 lbs, always feeling disgusting, overweight, unattractive- you name it, as long as it's negative, I've felt it. I'm quiet and shy, and my body didn't help. I always wore hoodies and loose tops, anything to hide my tummy.

My best friend at the time was a guy, and he wanted to get fit. So we joined a gym together. The first 6 months, I got down to 155. I was doing an hour of cardio in the women's room. I wore baggy sweats and tshirts, and ran from the private room to the exit so no one would ever see me.

He convinced me to start doing weights. I did. We cooked together, watched our food, and we limited our ice cream intake ;p. And in the next 6 months, I got down to 134 pounds, and I was starting to see my muscles- arms.. Legs.. Abs! I wasn't just losing weight, I was becoming fit! I started wearing "normal" gym clothes, and I was wearing the cute clothes I always dreamt about! I would be lying if I said I thought I was thin then. I didn't. I still saw myself as "big"... but just not as big.

Anyway, he had to move away because of a career change. And I was on my own. I quit the gym, because it was far for me. I joined a generic gym and barely went. Then, I went through an emotionally abusive relationship for a year.

And when he cheated on me, I became depressed. Putting on all of my weight & then some. In September, I was 168. I didn't want to see 170. So I joined an expensive gym with classes.

September through now, I did yoga, kickboxing, and Zumba. I also did a weight lifting class. But I only saw a little change. I know it was my diet and lack of weight training holding me back.

2 weeks ago I changed up my routine. I started lifting, and taking more intense classes, like a HIIT class. It kicks my butt. And I barely made it through. But I did!

I know what it feels like to be 35 lbs lighter. I want it back. So. Bad. I'm terrified of the scale- I don't know if it's better to check or to not check.

Any advice, support, and tips you can offer would mean the world to me!

I look forward to reading YOUR story.. Because you're here for a reason, too. I'm hoping with support, and offering support in return, that I'll reach my goals, and that you'll reach or maintain yours!

[bodyreboot]

Hi Lynnfit. I only joined this forum last month after making the decision to do something about my weight issue. I totally understand where you're coming from and can relate to how you feel.

I'm 5ft3in. The lowest weight I ever went to was around 128lbs (from 150lbs) when I did the South Beach Diet 12 years ago. But I've always been a chubby person all my life. My siblings always called me fat. Since then, I've kind of let myself go, relocated to another country for work and subsequently having to deal with living by myself for the first time, then moved back home and then left work and then had to deal with turning middle age. At my heaviest, I was probably 200lbs and I'm quite ashamed of it. I'm now 166 lbs. which is where you are now and height-wise, we are pretty close. We can try to inspire and motivate each other to lose the excess baggage.

I would love to go back to 130lbs but I will be happy with 140lbs. I'm pear shaped. I lose weight first in my face and chest/tummy (also the last to gain). I gain weight first (also last to lose) in the arms and legs. I'm appendage heavy and I've learned to deal with it.

I think the only way you can get back to doing this is to know how much you really want it. Like I know I wanted to lose weight back when i was so big. But I never really pushed myself. It was only mid-March this year when I felt like I was at my lowest point ever. Like I felt like such a loser that i decided to take charge. Like I just snapped. And the only thing that made sense and that I wanted to do was to lose weight. Losing weight is the one aspect in life wherein you get what you give. That means if i eat less/healthy and work out more, for sure I will lose weight. It became a challenge for me to prove to myself I can do it.

I also have many excuses. Especially here in the Philippines, traffic is the ****. I'm not going anywhere or doing anything that takes a long time to get there. So I found a good enough gym that's less than 20 mins from my house. I found a spinning class that was less than 20 mins away from my house too. I'm all about proximity and convenience. So that made it easier for me to push myself to work out even if I had to do it myself. I found friends to go with for spinning class. But gym time is alone time. You just have to want it bad enough.

I tried out my old clothes from around 4-5 years ago and they're loose now. That's really a great feeling and keeps me going. I want it sooooo bad and I feel like bikini bod is sooooooo close that I can almost taste it. I want it and I will not stop working for it until I get there. That's the kind of feeling I have now. That said, I still have down days where I feel guilty for not sticking to the eating plan. Back then, I would just quit altogether if i strayed from the food plan. Now, I just continue and work harder at it.

Everyone has their own motivation and push factors. You just have to find yours and stick with it. I am ashamed to admit it but before, the reason I tried to lose weight was to get a man. Like I feel that men only like thin women. And that was probably why I gained it back and some. Since i did lose the weight but the insecurity was still there. I was just so physically insecure. It felt even worse when people would say "why are you single? you're so pretty and fun?" That's even worse. Now, I just want to feel/be healthy and look good. For myself. Not for anyone else. Not for my parents or family or SO.

It's very cliche. But you have to lose weight for yourself. It took me a long time to accept this. And once I did, it was all systems go.

Believe that you can do it Lynnfit.

[Lynnfit]

@bodyreboot thank you so much for sharing your story with me! It sounds like we have very similar experiences and I look forward to talking to you and supporting each other! I also tried to lose weight in order to be noticed. This time, I want it for me. So let's get it for us! Keep up your awesome work!!!

[bloominbutterflies]

Welcome lynnfit! I'm one of those people who NEED a scale, otherwise I tell myself I am doing fine and then I get on and I'm fatter than ever lol.

I spent the vast majority of my life being about 140 lbs. I never felt good at this weight. To this day I think of the 130's-140's as a very awkward weight range for me. I'm not thin enough to feel attractive...but I'm not huge, so I tend to try to wear tighter fitting clothes and then my tummy pokes out. But then if I try to wear looser tops they make me look bigger. When I turned 18 I decided to change my life and lost about 30 lbs bringing me to my 110 lb weight. It was such an empowering experience.

I was 171 lbs for New Years...what a nightmare. I was practically ripping my pants apart around Christmas with my fluff and had to go shopping for size 16 jeans. The thinnest I ever was is 110 lbs. I stayed around 110's and low 120's lbs for about 3 1/2 years from age 18-21 and fondly look back at them as my "hot years." I wanna feel hot again before I get too old! I started plumping up though...about 10 lbs a year. I ate out constantly with my friends...sometimes as much as 4 times a week. I developed a lot of bad habits, and was going through an extremely awkward time in my life. I was very anxious about career/school and got sick often. By the time I was 25 I was in the 60's, and then brushed up at 170 for New Years...totally freaked out and that brings me to the present at 165.

I'm losing weight very slowly and carefully this time around. I feel I'm at an age where skin stops being so elastic. I am hoping to get long term results and good habits, a life style change. Once I lose this weight, my hope is that I can maintain a 110-115 lbs weight range until I'm 35. Hope we can encourage each other .