Making a change before I lose myself
Hello! I'm brand new here, hoping something like this will help me get support and ideas to maintain my newest attempt at weight loss. A little background on me:
I was always on the cusp of being overweight, but I was active enough where I was able to maintain my weight. College happened, and I actually began to lose weight despite the dreaded curse of the freshmen 15. My smallest size was a 10, and I loved it. 3 years ago my dad overdosed on Vicodin. That coupled with alcohol abuse caused him to bleed out. I hadn't seen him in months (we had a lot of problems). He called me the night before he died, but I didn't answer because I was "busy". It's something I have always, and will always, regret. My brother and I had to clear out his apartment the day after he died because his lease was up. I moved home to complete my college career at a local university, and that's when the weight gain started. In the course of one year I went from 168 to 210, and I haven't been able to get it off. My best friend was always a bigger girl like me, so there was comfort in that. She has been gone at grad school for the past two years, and is now home, and she looks fantastic. She got herself a gym membership and a personal trainer and is now around 160 and beautiful. I couldn't be more proud of her, but a little part of me doesn't want to see her now that I am the blatant lazy "fat" friend. I hate these thoughts - it's not me. I looked through old photo albums of myself at my thinner weight. Happy, outgoing, and just enjoying who I was. I miss that, and I know I need to take control before I lose that part of myself...I'm still in here somewhere!
I have no real dieting/exercise plan because I can't afford diets or gym memberships, so the plan for me is to eat healthier and in smaller portions, and get my butt out and running instead of "relaxing". Time for a change for me.
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I hope you find a lot of support here.
