[bargoo]

I just saw this on another thread, it is not orignal with me.

If you do not go after what you want you will never have it.
If you do not ask the answer will always be no.
If you do not step forward you will always be in the same place.

[CaliforniaSunshine]

The father hasn't spoken to me or seen me since I was pregnant. I am going by what the attorney said...the law. You probably didn't see my other post...but he refuses to have any contact with us...when I was preggo & he vanished, he blocked me from all of his social netwrking sites and after baby was born he changed his number. He get's paid CASH. Courts CANNOT trace the amounts. They have to go by word of mouth. The most they can do is suspend his license (which isn't a big deal to him). Again, Lawyer told me there is no such thing as debtors prison anymore and they only lock him up if they can PROVE he has the money. Smh...the law isn't what it should be. I feel so greatful to have all of you really offering compassion to my baby and I. Thank youu.

[CaliforniaSunshine]

@bargoo I am not sure what u mean...u just saw this on another thread...not original????

[bargoo]

Originally Posted by CaliforniaSunshine

@bargoo I am not sure what u mean...u just saw this on another thread...not original????

Another person posted it on another thread, it is not origional with me.

[bargoo]

Originally Posted by CaliforniaSunshine

The father hasn't spoken to me or seen me since I was pregnant. I am going by what the attorney said...the law. You probably didn't see my other post...but he refuses to have any contact with us...when I was preggo & he vanished, he blocked me from all of his social netwrking sites and after baby was born he changed his number. He get's paid CASH. Courts CANNOT trace the amounts. They have to go by word of mouth. The most they can do is suspend his license (which isn't a big deal to him). Again, Lawyer told me there is no such thing as debtors prison anymore and they only lock him up if they can PROVE he has the money. Smh...the law isn't what it should be. I feel so greatful to have all of you really offering compassion to my baby and I. Thank youu.

The baby's father does not need to have contact with you to pay child support. If he is ordeed by the court to pay child support and does not do so he can be found in contempt of court and jailed. It is nothing like debtor's prison.

[Munchy]

Originally Posted by CaliforniaSunshine

Yes I have been going through the system. They dont Make these "men" pay. Smh...Debtor's prison for non-payment of child support was abolished. Courts are just unrealistic. That's why you hear stories of women who get $15 a week and other pathetic amounts. It will just rack up and one day...maybe even 5 years down the line, hopefully my son will start to see some money coming in, because I want the best for him. ALL i do is think about the future...constantly.

This made me laugh because my ex husband was ordered to pay $12/week (and I don't even get that for many of the same reasons you're dealing with). My daughter's school is almost 1k/month! She also eats daily, needs a place to live, etc. I've been blessed with the ability to make it all work, but it's quite a responsibility being the only one who takes care of everything.

I know you mentioned not being able to afford healthy foods, but I'll tell you that I was trying to lose my baby weight I was on a limited budget because someone in my household (guess who) was spending too much.

I learned the beauty of discount shopping. I'm not sure if you have Pricerite, Aldi, Shoprite, or any Asian markets around you, but I'm able to find a plethora of produce and whole foods that are 50% less than I would spend at a "regular" grocery store. Items like dried beans, grains, apples, tofu, brown rice, eggs, and even herbs can be really cheap.

While this blog doesn't specify calorie counts, it does have a lot of budget recipes that are delicious, healthy, and balanced. http://budgetbytes.blogspot.com/

I always make an entire recipe, portion it out, then freeze it in little containers with the calorie or WW points written on them. I make about two to three dishes every weekend, and that results in usually over 20 individual meals. It saves me time, money, and energy.

Personally, I need a meal plan to keep me on track. For me, this means taking the time to plan my following day's meals down to the snacks. Lunch and dinner are usually something I can pull from my arsenal of homemade pre-made balanced and healthy frozen meals and at least one snack is fruit.

All in all, just remain positive. This isn't impossible, but it is work. One step at a time - you can and will do this!

[NEMom]

I am so sorry about your struggles. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate and it is becoming a bit overwhelming to you.
I ditto the comments to have a full physical done if you can. You may have a medical condition that which could be treated with medicine and would help with the weight loss.
Exercise does help in weight loss and it can help you feel better mentally, however, you can still lose weight even if you cannot exercise. Weight loss is 80% diet and 20% exercise. Try keeping track of everything you eat for a week, use google and look up the calories. This will give you and idea of how many calories you are eating. You can google "How many calories should I be eating to lose weight" which will bring up calorie calculators to help you determine how many calories you should be eating. Focus on your diet first and worry about exercise later. Drink lots and lots of water. Who knows, after you lose a little weight, your pain level may be less and you will feel more like exercising. If you physically can, get some light arm weights and use them sitting down, this will burn calories and help tone your arms.
I am probably 20 years older than you but I have been where you are. A single mom, no help from the baby's father financially or emotionally, broke beyond broke, depressed, tired and could not see the light. It took a while but life did get better. I met a wonderful man, we have been married 16 years. He adopted my daughter and while we have always struggled financially and lived pay check to pay check, things have gotten so much better. Try to let go of the anger you feel towards your baby's dad. You cannot force him to have an active part in your lives but the reality is, it is HIS loss. Focus on you and your baby and making the best life for the two of you as possible. Set small, positive goals for yourself, and tackle one issue at a time. Trying to deal with too many problems at once is way too overwhelming, just do one thing at a time and feel good about what you accomplish. Heck, come to this forum and shout out your success for the day. We will cheer you on girl!
If you have not already, get on every public assistance program you can. This is what we pay taxes for, for people like you who are struggling. This is the one thing I never did and I so wish I would have taken advantage of. There is no shame in asking for help.
Keep in touch my dear. We are here to support you.