Hey, So! I'm sorry to hear that you're having a rough time of things. I was there myself at your age and I know how much it hurts.
The other wonderful ladies here have given you some excellent diet and fitness advice. Since I'm still very early on in my whole weight loss process I certainly have nothing new to add to that.
I'm a smarty pants and a pretty good judge of character so I can say with absolute certainty that you are a wonderful, amazingly interesting, and lovely young woman. Your outside might not look the way you'd like it to, but that doesn't in any way detract from all your awesomeness. You're awesome. Pure and simple.
Here's the rub. The people around you might not always be able to act in a way that truly honors your awesomeness. Sometimes they'll be flaky or inconsiderate. Sometimes they just weren't thinking (or were thinking about someone else who doesn't have weight issues) and brought home McDonalds. Sometimes people are outright cruel. That sucks in a big way, but it has nothing to do with you. You're awesome, but you're human. The people around you are human. We all make mistakes.
So while you're taking in all of this great advice about eating better and exercising, you might also remember to keep the focus on yourself. Your mom or stepdad or friends or whoever may help and support you, but they may not (or they may on some days and may not on others). But your choices about how you eat and how you treat your body isn't a statement on your relationship with them, it's a statement on your relationship with yourself. What you eat isn't dependent on them, it's dependent on you.
Love yourself. Treat your body with love and respect. Be kind in your thoughts. Eat carrots when you're stressed. Good luck!
Firstly let me say how brave I think you are- asking for help is something I always find very difficult, lowering your pride enough to ask is hard, so well done!
Secondly, i too understand how you feel about not wanting to go out. But Im sure you'll find as you start to lose a bit of weight, the confidence boost you get is amazing! You'll definitely feel proud of yourself. Make your weight loss journey something you do for you, because you love yourself- not changing yourself for others.
They say that the first step is always the hardest, but you stick it out girl. You'll be glad you did
Update time:
I've been absent since this initial post and I'm sorry. Thank you everyone who replied while I was gone. I just finished e-reading my scrambled original post and it still amazes me that so many people took the time to read it and provide any help they could possibly give me.
Good news!
What was HORRIBLE news at first was that I have to take gym this year. I basically came to the conclusion there was no way I was getting out of it and kicked and screamed and dragged my feet (not literally of course) the whole way there. My school actually uses a public gym, that we walk to and back from. I was mortified because it's public and relatively small for a gym, so there's loads of thin guys and girls every which way which would sort of be a shot at my self-esteem haha. While this does happen, it's not half as bad as I thought. We go 3x a week, plus the school paid for our memberships so we can go any time, non-school hours which I think this could have been the one rock that I felt was being thrown at me, that turned into a stepping stone. So now, I'm feeling more confident in the fact that this will go better than planned. Also, hello, I'm getting credit for making myself feel better about myself and it's putting myself closer to graduation. I busted my @$$ pretty hard today and surprisingly enough, being the laziest person I've ever met *lol* I can keep up with my much, much thinner friends. I can even out-run people that are seemingly in healthier condition than I am, going the same speed/incline/etc on a treadmill. It's almost become a game, haha. Being competitive is apparently something that'll keep me driven. It's like a nudge telling me that I can do this and that it could be something I actually turn out to like. I won't lie though, I'll admit that my muscles are feeling a little jelly-like tonight after some serious (but safe, not excessive) working out today. I should also mention that the entire walk back to my school is uphill, so even when I think I'm done and can breathe... I can't until I get back to my school lolol!
So even if I go 3x a week via gym for school, one of my friends and I are going to make it a mission to go at least one other day after school. We can even get extra credit in gym/health for doing so. The only bummer is my best friend is actually in the opposite position and trying to gain weight in fat and not muscle mass (she just can't gain weight for the life of her) but she still can't keep herself away from gym (which she thought she was going to hate, too! Neither of us have taken gym in like.. 5 years haha.)
Another bummer (so I guess the one above wasn't 'the only' haha) is that we only have 45 minutes, including the time it takes us to walk there, change, etc. So you have to cram as much as you can into like 30 minutes and hope to God you have time to shower before you have to walk back for your next class, haha!
I'm still trying to encourage my mom into buying better foods. She complains about prices a lot, still. But we'll see how it goes. Ha.
Just thought I'd update for those who have provided me some advice and I hope to stick around and be posting in the "I reached my goal!" forum in the next year or so. We'll see!
Last edited by SoHereitGoes; 09-08-2011 at 12:11 AM.
I am so glad you posted an update. It is good to hear that you are starting to enjoy the gym. For me half the battle in exercise is getting up and doing it. I like sweating once I actually get my butt in gear!
Sorry to hear your mom is not being real supportive in the food area. Make the best choices you can and try to track your calorie intake.
Best of luck and keep us posted!
It sounds like you are using the gym as an opportunity rather than a calamity. That's just what you need to do in any situation to succeed -- find opportunities, not excuses.
So glad to hear that you are taking charge and making progress both on healthy exercise and eating!
Another update! Week one: 4.5 pounds down! That's kind of sort of a good amount, especially since I don't have 100+ lbs to lose, where that kind of weight loss in common. I know it's mostly just water weight, but still! So I' 4.5 down from my usual weight that I've maintained for over a year, which means I'm almost 15ish down from highest (known) weight of all time (even though I've apparently somehow kept off 10lbs without trying for over a year)
This seemed like such an impossible task for so long, I'm kicking myself in the butt for not just trying a littttle bit harder, sooner.
I feel like I'm spamming the introductions thread with all these updates, so I'll probably move to the main support forum soon.
Gah, thank you guys sooo much for everything It really means a lot, every single word.
SoHereItGoes..can I just hug you right now? It is so awesome that you are taking charge of things, and any weight lost is worth celebrating.
I too have a sibling that is thin and beautiful and makes me want to eat cheesecake. But I have to remember that beauty and self-worth have little to do outward looks; even if I never look like a model, I am worth spending time on and taking care of.
And so are you. I am so happy that you figured it long before I did.
Good luck, and I join the rest of the members here that are cheering for you.
SoHereItGoes..can I just hug you right now? It is so awesome that you are taking charge of things, and any weight lost is worth celebrating.
I too have a sibling that is thin and beautiful and makes me want to eat cheesecake. But I have to remember that beauty and self-worth have little to do outward looks; even if I never look like a model, I am worth spending time on and taking care of.
And so are you. I am so happy that you figured it long before I did.
Good luck, and I join the rest of the members here that are cheering for you.
awsome! keep it up girl and just remember even if it 1 lbs it great.. the more you exercize the better it will feel and the more it will work...
i recomend calorie counting. then no matter what your choices at home are you will always have the choice as to how much you eat. this will help you feel in control, and theres calorie info on all the boxed stuff and you can do pretty good guesses with google.
i look forwarfd to seeing your progress and remember non of us are perfect so if you slip up and have an off day just march on and keep going!!!!
Sohereitgoes, I am new here and there are many things in your original post with which I identify, even though I am nigh on 60 years old whilst you are young.
However, something does shine through your thread.
It is that whilst your original focus is reactive, you know now that the folk here are heartfeeling, empathetic and supportive so you are becoming proactive. Please lean on this and take it to heart. From what you say you have a interactive family but they cannot emphathise with your situation. For this, the weight concern, please don't blame them just see this is not where their awareness lies. It is where ours does though.
For your weight loss this is a safe place to be.
Work with what you hear here, that you can feel comfortable with. Don't be too hard on yourself, take one day at a time or even one hour at a time if that suits you right now.
So much of this journey is about lifestyle changes, which is so very hard to do no matter what age you are and what habits you have formed. Changing just one is the first step to tackling another.
I hear it when you say you are forming agoraphobic tendencies. As a fully paid up member of that group for many many years I understand but I know that if I could wind it back and do it differently I would. Please try to change that trend now, whilst you are young. That could be your first change, an hour off the computer means an hour walking in the park, or to the shops for fresh fruit, or doing handstands in the garden! Two birds ... one stone =)
If your inspiration to go from here relies on externals, this is the safe place to be. Somewhere, though, you have the internal drive to have come here and you have not valued that enough. Please see it as a thing to be proud of.
SoHereItGoes,
I have so much in common with you! I'm also pretty young-- 16 and a senior in high school-- and I have been overweight since I can remember. Thank you so much for sharing your story-- I feel like I'm looking back at the me that began my weightloss journey at the beginning of 2011. I wanted to let you know that even in tough situations, losing weight IS possible. Even when your mom is complaining about the price of food, your family is waving tasty-smelling foods with enough cholesterol to kill an army of polar bears right under your nose, even when you're only given 30 minutes to work out, it's possible, do-able, and rewarding!
I'm so proud of you for your workout dedication, your healthy habits and your weight loss so far. You are doing GREAT, and I know that you'll stick with this and keep losing weight. When you're in a tough situation, holding on to your motivation to diet and exercise is key.
Have you heard of Fitocracy? You said that you're kind of competitive, and Fitocracy appeals to my competetive side. It's a fitness website that lets you compete with other users online. It's sort of like an exercise tracker/facebook/online game sort of thing. Basically, you obtain an invite code (I've got one if you want it), sign up, and start logging your activities. For each thing you do, you get a certain number of points. As you gain points, you level up like in a video game. Your friends on Fitocracy can see what you've done and help support you in your goals. You can also earn awards and do quests. It's fun, so if you want an invite code, you know who to ask. Happy trails on your journey!
But I have to remember that beauty and self-worth have little to do outward looks; even if I never look like a model, I am worth spending time on and taking care of. 
