Almost half way there... oh hello :)
Hello all!
I was wandering the interwebs today looking for weight loss pictures, stories and other motivation and I stumbled on this site. Looks like a great place to share and get inspiration.
About me:
I've been working since September '09 to lose what seems to be a second person riding around on my shoulders (physically and emotionally). I've been fat since I can remember, though I believe there are picture of me around 3 years old where I look like a regular kid ... but none after. My childhood was littered with teasing and shame over my weight. The first time I remember being teased was before I even started school, in a daycare or something. Should kids under 5 even know what fat is? I did, and apparently so did they. This ray of sunshine continued as an almost daily occurrence for many years.
I remember stepping on the scale at a doctor's office sometime in my very early teens and wanting just kill myself over the 247 pounds I saw in front of me. It became my singular goal at that time to make that feeling go away. I started walking around two miles a day, and eating very little. I remember feeling pride in getting through a day having consumed nothing but a can of diet coke. While, I realize that this is inappropriate and unhealthy, I did manage to lose about 40 pounds. I remember starting the next school year, which must have been 9th grade, with someone asking me... "What happened to you?" While I was still bigger than most of the kids (5'9" and 200lbs) I was no longer disgustingly obese and no longer an ugly awkward kid, later that year my braces came off and looking back on it now, I realize I wasn't as repulsive as I felt. I hovered in the low 200's for the rest of my high school career, by the time I finished my first year of college (which was actually my senior year of high school) I was higher than ever, around 260. I managed to lose 20 - 30 of that and maintain it for a couple of years. When I was about 21 I started to gain weight, a lot of weight... very quickly. There was a lot of emotional eating, and even more emotional drinking. My dad died unexpectedly, my mom's mental and physical health was deteriorating (Time... and heart surgery both heal the heart it seems), I was a full time student, and working full time. I was stressed. I felt alone. I was alone. I guess that's why I ate. I know that's why I drank (feeling nothing felt better, and I'm pretty funny when I'm drunk) By the time I was 23 I had gained at least 60 pounds, more crept on over the next couple of years. I didn't step on the scale, thinking, "it can't be that bad, I haven't gained THAT much weight." Finally in '09 after already losing some weight (based on clothes fitting looser) I stepped on the scale and saw 336.6 staring back at me. "God... that must mean I've probably weighed 350 pounds at some point" I thought to myself. My first goal was to JUST get under 300. I was so disgusted and disappointed that I would let myself get to this point.
Since then my main focus has been to get myself on track. Gym, doctor's appointments (which I am thankful to report concluded that I have GREAT cholesterol, normal glucose, and normal blood pressure - even though all normal, these have all improved since losing.)
As of this morning... I have lost 61 pounds. My ultimate goal is to get under 200, but for now my next goal is 75 pounds... so, 14 to go.
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on your weight loss so far!! Good luck with your continue efforts!!
