[DixC Chix]

Originally Posted by Eliochacon

Today we were talking about it and she said she's dreading having meals in the 300-400 calorie range. This woman is always hungry. She claims that due to her long term overeating and her size that her stomach has stretched. Now she is an intelligent woman and a health care professional to boot so I don't argue this point with her and I don't know if she's right or not anyway but I do believe that most of the time at least she is experiencing hunger. I think I fear this as much as she does in that she's going to be miserable and sometimes I think I should just let her eat and say nothing.

Meals in 300-400 cals? She needs about 3000 cal a day just to stay the same. She'd be eating in the 1200-1500/day range and that can very well be too low for her - at least to start. She should consider 1800-2000 (maybe higher) which would give her 500-600 cal meals and 100-200 cal snacks so she is never more than 3 hours away from eating. It can be a lot of food to fill her stomach if it is more fruits and veggies than fast food. It is always more filling to eat a meal/snack with fat than without - like cheese stick and fruit, walnuts and yogurt, lunchmeat rolled up with a celery stick, hard boiled egg and V8 juice, etc.

A 1000 cal deficit per day will result in weight loss of about 2 lbs a week. It doesn't have to be punishment (hungry/miserable all the time) or drastic to eat healthy.

[zoodoo613]

I agree with what everyone else is saying: you can't change her, you can only support her in her choices. And here's the rub. You certainly seem willing to help her through the steps she needs to take to lose weight. I wish my husband were half so supportive. But what if she decides not to do it, that the thought of restricting her meals is more distressing to her than her weight? Can you support her in that? It may be relationship advice rather than weight-loss advice that you need.

[nationalparker]

Can you live with this for the rest of your/her life? Is this relationship AS IT IS NOW what you want for yourself? I think that, more than anything about her eating/lack of activity, etc., is a key. If not, then that might need some serious pondering. We all have different goals for ourselves and sometimes those goals change as WE change, which happens. But how happy will you be with your relationship if she continues to gain weight? As everyone has stated, no one can make another one do something they

don't want to do - she might journal the healthy food at home and skip the two whoppers and fries and shake she got at lunch, etc. You just don't know. You need to be sure that you are okay with your mate as she is now without thoughts of how she MIGHT BE or COULD BE.

Good luck!