Hi Amber,
Welcome to 3FC. I read your post and have the same goal as being under 200lbs by New Years. I also can relate to the feeling bad about yourself thoughts.
There are days I feel so fat I do not even want to go out in public.
After browsing through this site it help me put things into perspective and know I am not alone.
If you read the diet blogs and browse through the recipe and exercise forums you can find a ton of great advice.
Your New Year's Goal definitely seems doable with a lot of hard work and support!
Best wishes!