Back on the wagon, and kinda discouraged; can anyone relate? - (kinda long)
So hi- I joined today and have posted a few things here and there, and have decided to take a little time to introduce me. Hi. I'm Fat. I think its fitting that i acknowledge that "fat" and all of its negative connotations has been a part of my identity for 20 years. I can't tell u what my highest weight was, bcuz i only recently stepped on the scale- after weight loss (looser clothes, observations by others). I wish to God that i could snap my fingers and have the weight disappear; or even better- that I could blame this weight gain and "plateau" on someone else. But I really can't. Was anyone else shocked at the amount of food they ate? When I look at how many calories i need to eat to lose weight (still a satisfying amount) and take an HONEST look (journals, labels, etc.) at what i've put in my body; EVEN when i've been working hard to figure out what's best, I get.... sad. I've already made a lot of good changes. I'm journaling online, and now i'm getting involved here. I'm moving more, sleeping more, taking better care of "ME" in general. Some days i feel like i can fight an army of fat cells. Other times (sometimes during those very same days of confidence) I feel like i'm on a slow boat to China, and then when i try to jump on a fast one i get shipwrecked. I think part of this is coming from the fact that i'm sick right now. I was eating a homemade soup and my significant other asks me if I was going to eat a certain dish with him later. I felt like his tone was condemning, even though he really hasnt been that way to me. I told him that i probably wouldnt (Even though i wouldve if he hadnt said anything) and that i would have it later. For soooo many years i have used food to soothe, comfort, adn entertain. I love food, and just about everything about it. For those into astrology i AM a Taurus- a Taurus Sun, Moon, with a Cancer in Venus. Even the stars will let you know that i love comforting and catering! Lately i've made some fabulous meals that have been incredibly healthy. I know I can get to the weight and size that i want to be (And yes, i mentioned nothing about health. All about weight and size today ); I just need to build a bridge an get over the fact that i didnt do what i needed to do in order for me to be at the size i wanted to be "sooner" than later. Alas, I think i shall pick up my brick and mortar. Glad to be here, and i am looking forward to taking this journey with you!
(PS- im a prof. female in my late 20's in NV)
I too, feel fat and... sad. This has been a part of my life for over 10 years. I wish I could be "normal" around food.
I go through long periods of denial about it, though if I clocked the time I spend each day thinking about food, and how unhappy I am with how I look and feel, it is depressing.
But coming here, and finding like-minded people who understand where we are, and who want to give and receive encouragement, is something we can congratulate ourselves for.
I'm in the same slow boat but I'm older and fatter than you are. I think I'm just gonna take this diet one second at a time. I often overeat and isolate because I feel really bad about my physical appearance yet overeating and isolation make my physical appearance worse. I am breaking this cycle today.
My tiny goals are: the next food I put in my face will be healthy, I will exercise today and I will reward myself with a long hot bath.
I feel good because I have began the process of changing.
You can feel good because you have also begun the process, you are young and will lose weight fast and you seem like a really smart, nice person.
Once we start seeing progress on the scales, we will start feeling better about our self's.
I too, can SO identify with what you wrote. I am happy that you are being so honest with yourself and all those here. It really is a huge first step. Do what you can to continue to surround yourself in support. We are all here for you and I can think of nothing food related that these ladies or myself haven't been through. Welcome.
It's great that you are taking the steps to be a happier and healthier you. My parents are overweight...obese probably, and their attitude is that no matter what they do, they stay the same weight and just don't care anymore. That really is not the truth though. They eat SOOO bad. Everything is fried or made in a ton of butter. Even when they do attempt to make something healthy, like a regular salad, they cover it in cheese and dressing.... So GOOD FOR YOU to be here and to really want to do something about it! I wish I could get my parents to do the same thing.
Verstehen - so much of what you said I can relate to. I suppose I could spend a lot of time reflecting on all the things I did wrong. I'd need a lot time though. lol. It makes me happy though, to think I am on the right track now.
I think a lot of us can relate with your feelings of despair and self-doubt. I know I can as I've been overweight or obese all of my life.
You are now in a place with a lot of help and support that I am sure will inspire you. I found very helpful to look around the forums and read others' experiences to realize I am not alone and that others have gone through the same things I am. Pay special attention to the posts by people who have been successful at this (one of my personal favourites is rockinrobin), they helped me immensely at the beginning and they still do when I start to doubt myself.
I can relate....and I hope that it gets better. You just have to keep working hard and reminding yourself why you started - of course, seeing as I've just started with alot of the same issues, I am only telling you what I've been telling myself. Sometimes it helps, and I think 3FC will help too!
Start your process right by telling yourself EVERY DAY that you are worth the time and energy it will take to accomplish your goal!! Especially as women, we are so busy taking care of everyone else in our lives that we forget to take care of ourselves until it's too late. I am a daughter, sister, friend, and teacher who now recognizes my need to take care of myself first SO THAT I can take care of others! I am no good to anyone if I am not good to myself-- it took me 29 years to learn this, but now that I have, I will never put myself and my health on the back burner again!!
I started at 273 pounds a little more than a year ago, and I weighed in at 212.8 this morning. That's 60 pounds lost-- I would have NEVER imagined that to be possible. I went from a 24/26 to a 16. Incredible! The key is planning (again, taking the time for yourself to plan) and consistency. Make the plan and carry it through. I plan every meal, snack, and beverage for my week on Sundays-- and then I use the plan as a checklist during the week to hold myself accountable. There are definitely times when I go off plan (birthday, etc.), but I am always making conscious choices! For so long I felt like a victim of the fat suit I was wearing-- not the case! I choose what I put into my body-- and you will be amazed at how your eating habits and wants change when you start taking care of yourself!
Also, if something is not working for you, change it up. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing while expecting different results-- just because something worked for others on here doesn't mean it will be the best for you. You have to shake up the snowglobe if you want to see results!
You ARE worth it! I can't wait to see what amazing things you're going to do for yourself! Use the boards when you're feeling great and struggling-- I just started about a month ago here, but I have already found the people to be amazing!
Good to meet you Verstehen,
One thing about it, you call it the way it is and don't sugarcoat it. But I think we're all on the right track now. We're on our way to better days and better boats! lol
Back on the wagon, and kinda discouraged; can anyone relate? - (kinda long)
); I just need to build a bridge an get over the fact that i didnt do what i needed to do in order for me to be at the size i wanted to be "sooner" than later. Alas, I think i shall pick up my brick and mortar. Glad to be here, and i am looking forward to taking this journey with you!
Hi Verstehen!
