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Old 09-04-2008, 08:15 PM   #1  
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Post This is where I am right now....

I struggled with what to write, because I didn't want to seem like a depressed, discouraged, hopeless individual. But as I thought about it, maybe I am in that state right now. I just want to succeed, so that I can love myself. I want to be able to be honest and truly genuine. I am obsessed with food. I have been "trying to lose weight" for 5 years. So far...70 pounds gained. I think about it all the time... what will I eat next, when can I eat next. Then after I eat... Oh Lord, what did I do? Why? It's another night of going to bed feeling like a failure. This is destoying me. My husband walks by the office, and I feel ashamed that I am speaking like this. He would tell me to stop and that life isn't that bad. Where do I start? How do I break the cycle? Am I the only one?
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Old 09-04-2008, 08:31 PM   #2  
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Hi Prunellar!



You are not alone! Many of us here have our own issues with food. Whether it happens to just be eating a little too much, up to & including using food as a self-medicating drug. Please don't be ashamed to type what you're feeling here.

You do not need to lose weight to love yourself. In fact, eating healthier... doing more physical activity... takes love. We should love ourselves enough to want to do these things. You are not a failure. Ever. This is a process. A long one. One step at a time, sometimes tiny baby steps, sometimes a step backwards... but as long as we don't give up, we are not failures.

How about beginning with a change you may be able to handle easily? Water. It's wonderful, pure and pretty essential to many food plans. Do you drink sodas, juices or other things? Try drinking water instead. Just for a day. One day. Hey, if a whole day seems like too much, then start with one meal.

Habits take a long time to break, and a long time to build. Be patient with yourself.

You may want to check out the Chicks in Control section. But, please post wherever you're comfortable.

You can do this. All the best of success!
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Old 09-04-2008, 08:42 PM   #3  
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Thank you so much. It it so nice to feel accepted. You are right about not needing to lose weight to love myself. I can do this, I know that I can. I expect perfection, to a fault. I will set daily goals for myself. Tomorrow- walk around the neighborhood for 45 minutes and eat healthy snacks. I will let you know how I do tomorrow night!! Again, thank you.... it means so much to know that it's okay to be honest and real.
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Old 09-04-2008, 09:46 PM   #4  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by prunellar View Post
Thank you so much. It it so nice to feel accepted. You are right about not needing to lose weight to love myself. I can do this, I know that I can. I expect perfection, to a fault. I will set daily goals for myself. Tomorrow- walk around the neighborhood for 45 minutes and eat healthy snacks. I will let you know how I do tomorrow night!! Again, thank you.... it means so much to know that it's okay to be honest and real.
Taking a walk & choosing healthier snacks sounds like a good plan for tomorrow. You deserve this. Keep us updated!
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Old 09-04-2008, 09:49 PM   #5  
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Welcome and good luck!
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Old 09-04-2008, 09:56 PM   #6  
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I'll let you in on a little secret. All of our folks at goal? They weren't perfect. In fact, in the maintainers area, probably half of us at any time are working to lose a few pounds we've gained back. We have off days. We have a whole thread devoted to trying to keep us on plan, and if you read there, in the "No Excuses" thread, you'll see that we only succeed maybe 75% of the time. So how did such "imperfect" people meet their weight loss goals?

We did our best, committed to making small changes, and when we did go off plan, we just committed to getting right back on.

Perfection doesn't count nearly as much as just committing to doing your best.

I'm glad you're here, and can't wait to hear more from you soon!
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Old 09-04-2008, 09:57 PM   #7  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by prunellar View Post
I struggled with what to write, because I didn't want to seem like a depressed, discouraged, hopeless individual. But as I thought about it, maybe I am in that state right now. I just want to succeed, so that I can love myself. I want to be able to be honest and truly genuine. I am obsessed with food. I have been "trying to lose weight" for 5 years. So far...70 pounds gained. I think about it all the time... what will I eat next, when can I eat next. Then after I eat... Oh Lord, what did I do? Why? It's another night of going to bed feeling like a failure. This is destoying me. My husband walks by the office, and I feel ashamed that I am speaking like this. He would tell me to stop and that life isn't that bad. Where do I start? How do I break the cycle? Am I the only one?
Well, you start by making a change right now. No more talk like that. You are wonderful, and deserve to feel good about yourself. I would pick a program out tonight that sounds like it might fit you (I am on WW and love it) and your lifestyle. Start by taking a walk around the block or track or wherever. Then the next day you go a little longer and a little harder. Keep doing that and you are going to feel a huge difference in a month. You can do this, and it sounds like you want to. Don't wait to start in a week or month -- do it now. Every meal is a chance to start all over.
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Old 09-04-2008, 10:48 PM   #8  
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Hi prunellar, you are definately not alone. When reading your post... its like describing how I used to be ( not long ago). For quite sometime, I realized that I have problem with emotional eating and its really destroying my life. I used to planned my binges.....then saying to myself... ok this is going to be the last one. But that never happened and I will continue to have binges...after binges....
Same thing, after those binges, I would asked myself why did I do it. It gave me a moment of relief and hapiness but they do not last. And like you mentioned... going to bed feeling upset and like a failure!
Until a point where I avoided all my friends... families and was living in my own world. Thats not how i want to live... so i need to change. A little at a time, set small goals. I am not eating 3 healthy meals aday.... ( where I used to starve .... and then breakdown with a mega binge) and some heathly snacks ( olives/ cheese/nuts ).
I really do realized that a balance diet make a whole difference! When you allow yourself to eat...proper food...the less you carve for those bad things. But I still allow myself one "reward" day where I can choose a meal to reward my week effort. That actually gives a the motivation throughout the week, everytime I feel like giving up.... just 2 more days until...the reward meal....
I am now losing weight while not starving myself. I feel so much better...not going to bed with a full stomach.... with those guilts and all.
I still have like 20lbs to lose but I am sure I will get there if I continue to be strong and talk the sense into myself.
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Old 09-05-2008, 07:23 AM   #9  
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I woke up this morning, read all of your posts and I am feeling very energized and motivated. I keep hearing "small goals", and things like one step at a time. That's the problem.... I want it now... maybe because I am the spoiled baby sister? I will and can commit to one day. That's my goal today September 5, 2008. Thank you for the support. I will let you know how it goes!
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Old 09-05-2008, 07:40 AM   #10  
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Welcome to 3FC, prunellar! This place has really helped me ever since I "got serious" on August 17. I would come and look at the "reached my goal" and "mini goal" photos, read the stories and really be encouraged. Every day I tell myself that I can only control what happens right now--the past doesn't matter (especially since I'm a good one for thinking "If only I'd started this back in April or May, I'd be farther along") STUPID, worthless thinking that I ban from my brain when I realize what is going on. I can only control THIS MEAL, this day, this moment. I am making healthy choices right now, not tomorrow. (I mean, I want to make those tomorrow too, LOL, just don't want to obsess today). Yesterday I wrote in my WW notes (I subscribe online) that on Thanksgiving day, I will eat whatever I want for dinner, then on Christmas I'll have some chocolate candy. By giving myself permission to indulge for a meal or a day later on, I will not only enjoy it so much more (cause I DESERVE it!) but will also be of a mindset of eating right today so that I can do that later.

Sorry, got longwinded! Usually I just say....WELCOME! and glad to have you here

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Old 09-05-2008, 09:55 PM   #11  
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Guess what? I did it!! I had a great day and met both goals. Thanks for your help. I can do it again tomorrow.
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Old 09-05-2008, 10:14 PM   #12  
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Best wishes to you. You are in some Great company..
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Old 09-05-2008, 10:17 PM   #13  
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Way to go, prunellar!!
anita
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Old 09-05-2008, 11:57 PM   #14  
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Congrats, girl! I knew you could do it. Keep up the good work. For me, I needed to see a change on the scale to keep motivated. Just always remember where you start. Every pound gone is a pound you work hard for and deserve. If you slip up, it's okay; you don't have to throw away the whole day and go crazy and eat whatever you want. Every meal is a chance to start fresh.
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Old 09-06-2008, 08:02 AM   #15  
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Yay, prunellar! Go you!

-Susan
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