[Kodekai]

Hi,

I'm Kodekai... I feel a little odd being here because I'm not a dieter. I should explain...

I am 18 and have had eating disorders since I was 14. Long periods of anorexia mostly, a brief period of binge eating and now, bulimia. My days tend to be either eating only vegetables at mealtimes, or totally skipping meals and bingeing, followed by the purge.

But I am trying to learn how to eat normally - it will be extremely hard, which is why I wanted to join a forum filled with sensible people with 'normal' perceptions of what the human body should be like.

Right now, I don't know what I weigh, I have banned myself from the scale. But I'm 5'10 and a UK size 6/8. My 'natural' size is around 12/14 i.e. on around 1800 calories a day. I swing between being disgusted with my behaviour, and being terrified of gaining weight.

So my goals are... to stop purging. Once and for all, the purging has to stop. I think this might take a while, but I hope I can do it. And... to gain enough weight that my periods are regular and healthy.

I don't think that I will ever be able to sit and eat three normal meals a day, but I can at least give my body what it needs, and that is my reason for coming here. It seems like a healthy, reasonable forum. Is this ok? If people feel I should be somewhere else then I will understand.

[Ashley103]

Hello Kodekai and welcome to 3FC. I can't speak for everyone else, but I feel this site is open and welcoming to anyone who has a problem with their weight and wants to get healthy. We all need all the support we can get. There are many people on here with either purge now or have done so in the past. Take a look around the site and find a threat you feel comfortable and join in with posting. In case you haven't seen it yet, there is a special support forum for people with control issues - binge eating, bulimia, etc. The link below will take you to that page.
http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=64

[Cheryl14]

Hi Kodekai!

I totally agree with Ashley! Everyone here has issues with food in one way or another. We are all in need of learning more about how to feed our bodies better. You belong here as much as any of us do!

I commend you for having the courage to face issues in your life and to DO something about those things that you feel can be better.

Everyone here is just wonderful! I gain a great deal of strength knowing that so many strangers I have never met REALLY UNDERSTAND me!

I hope that you find some answers that you are looking for and that you will share your insight with all of us.

Cheryl

[WeightOnMyMind]

Hey. I also have eating disorders and am trying to return to healthy eating in a sense. Lately I have been living off fruits and vegetables mostly. So we have that part in common. We have to learn that we NEED to eat better to LIVE. I'm sure you know that feeling of having zero energy and no motivation and pure guilt over eating but sooner or later we must overcome that if we intend to live, and live well.

[Kodekai]

Thanks, guys! I'm glad it seems there's no problems with me being here.

WeightOnMyMind: I know exactly what you mean, exactly. Sooner or later, I guess we have a choice to make. It doesn't mean getting 'better' right now, but just learning perspective and finding it within yourself to take some steps towards a healthier lifestyle. Once you realise that the eating disorder is a problem, things become both easier and harder, but being healthy will be worth the battle, I'm sure of it.