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Originally Posted by Lakewood
Purple - there is SO much I want to say about this. But, I can only type for short periods of time before I get tired and hurt and have to stop.
This is NOT a subject that should be taken lightly. I think we really must address it in coaching sessions. It is a HUGE mental aspect of weight loss. It's actually the hardest part. Our mind plays tricks on us with how we see ourselves.
In 1990 I lost 72 pounds. I was 138. Everyone told me I didn't need to lose another ounce - I looked great - I had all the positive feedback a girl could ever want. I went jeans shopping with 2 friends and I drifted over to the PLUS section, just like I had always done - those were my sizes. That's what fit me. I had not been shopping since I lost the 72 pounds. I grabbed an 18W and tried them on. WOW! These are a little big I thought. Hmmm, maybe the next size down would fit. Grabbed the 16W. Still too big. My friends said you're in the wrong section. So, I went to the regular section and grabbed a 16, then a 14 - too big. They thought I was nuts and kept telling me to try on smaller sizes and handed me a size 9. A size 9 REGULAR. No W, no X in back of the number. I thought they were crazy. They fit. They fit perfectly. Was I excited? Nope. Did I see what they saw when I tried those 9s on? No. I was looking in the mirror, at me in those size 9 jeans and saw a fat girl. The fat girl that I had always seen. She was burned into my mind. There was such a disconnect between what was REAL and what I saw in my mind. I knew I had lost 72 pounds, but it didn't compute.
We MUST address our self image on this road to losing the weight, too. Most people think body dysmorphic disorder is for those skinny girls - it affects us, too.
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Lakewood, I really really appreciated what you wrote here. How we perceive ourselves vs. how others perceives us is really important and in many of us, there appears to be a disconnect. I know when I was younger, I was very shy and s/w awkward so I hid. It was really helpful to look at those pictures on that site to see what others looked like as I have some pictures of what I looked like back then but they don't fully show me because I was always in baggy clothes. Yes, I was probably petite but what you saw was lots and lot of material. Over time I got better and truth be told I wore my tightest and most fitted clothes once I was heavier. It was a combination of being more comfortable in my more mature body and well that was how things fit unless I went a size or two up.
I think if society or some sort of internal message we created tells us who we are and how we should be treated and what we look like, we start to believe it and then act the part. One of the things I most enjoy watching and reading on this board is seeing just how confident women become as the pounds come off, the inches move in and and the sizes reflect back to us someone we like seeing, someone we enjoy looking at.
Transitions take a long time. Because this is a rapid weight loss diet, our physical changes are manifested much, much more rapidly than our mental/emotional changes. That takes a while and it does not happen overnight.
I think issues of a more serious or intense nature do need to be taken up with a counselor as I question the general skill levels of some of our coaches. I shouldn't rag on all but some stump me. There are different reasons some women put on a lot of weight and some women lose too much weight. Some have to do with eating and stress and some are of a more serious nature with deep underlying issues, possibly traced back a long time in one's life.
I am glad you brought this up because fat sometimes serves as well, protection, a protective layer in between the person and what they choose to deal with and what they do not. Again, too heavy for a forum like this but certainly wise to share with a trained counselor. As layers start to leave, emotions could rise up because there's you. There's not as much in between anymore.
I sat on my response a bit because I was not sure how to word what I wanted to share but you triggered some thoughts in me so this response, though not entirely directed at you. Moreso thoughts triggered by what you wrote. There's a spectrum going from not being quite used to how much weight you lost to more serious disorders which could benefit from advanced aid. I just hope that people can recognize where they may fall on the spectrum to seek out the assistance they may need. Some of us may need to just keep trying out the appropriately sized clothes until we get used it. Some may have a little more reconciling to do.
I think it's important to take good care of ourselves and try to catch things as they come along. Share with a coach if you have a good one or go beyond if you see fit.
. But you are so lucky to have the few extra inches. My daughter is 5'4" and weighs 130 also. She looks fantastic. Those few inches make a big difference.
