I'm so happy with the way that food experiences went today. I woke up with a craving for Ethiopian food, but that usually spells trouble for me -- gorging on a huge take-out container for two, followed by feelings of discomfort and defeat. Today was different. I promised myself to stop, upon nearing fullness, and toss the rest out with no guilty feelings about "wasted" food.
I ate what I wanted, enjoyed every delectable bite, and bagged the rest for disposal. Spent the rest of the day feeling satisfied and in-tune with my body.
A doctor's visit yesterday confirmed that the intuitive eating approach is working. My A1C (3-month average blood glucose level) has dropped two points and is now in the desirable range for a diabetic, and I'm moving toward a size of large that feels more manageable for me.
Ok things are off track. I'm overeating since I've come back from my trip. I usually do. I don't know of it's readjusting from jet lag, eating the foods I've missed, from stress, or if I'm reacting to the weight loss. The weight loss is a bit drastic I suppose, 9lbs in 6wks. I don't know why my first instinct when I lose weight is to put it back on. I'm sure I'll get back on track. I feel humbled that everything can be going so well where I feel in total control and then bam, I'm searching for cookies late at night.
Edit: I was just going through my inbox and found this from Isabel Foxen Duke. It seems my suspicions might be right about reacting to my weightloss. I don't step on a scale all summer and suddenly once I did it thee me off and made me judge myself. It seems as soon as I patted myself on the back as "good" for losing weight I started Overeating. Oh how sensitive and broken I still am. http://isabelfoxenduke.com/why-scale...you-binge-eat/
Last edited by Palestrina; 08-24-2014 at 07:58 AM.
Welcome to all new members! Im so happy to see you here!
Wannabe, I know exactly what you are talking about with that. The book Starting Monday helped me a lot with that. I did the same thing when I first started IE. Would drop a lot of weight and quickly eat it right back on. I think losing weight made me feel really anxious and just like you said, a pat on the back like oh good job which implies that you weren't ok the way you were before.
Last edited by Pinkhippie; 08-25-2014 at 12:10 PM.
I go to the Dr for my annual lady exam tomorrow and that means it'll be the first time in 6 weeks I've stepped foot on a scale. I am beyond nervous. I haven't really thought about "good food" or "bad food" in nearly a month, but then yesterday it hit me that I was weighing in Tuesday and I ate total crap with crap choices (nachos for lunch, pizza for dinner) due to emotional eating. I haven't done that in 6 weeks.
I tracked my calories today because I felt out of control from yesterday's choices. This cycle has got to stop. Ugh - here's to hoping after tomorrow I settle back down.
Thanks TamTam for the welcome! It's been a crazy couple of days, and I haven't been able to stop in. I had a few minutes this morning, and continue to be inspired by y'all. I so appreciate the sharing that happens here.
I've learned a lot over the past few days. I feel better with less food. I have more energy with less food. My mood is better with less food.
I say less food, and I also mean better quality food.
I haven't been on in a while because I was trying to really work on this "eating beast" and this site can be very triggering for me to want to lose weight and restrict. I've been thinking about you guys frequently, though! I realized that while I had been doing a lot of intuitive eating, I was still operating on a very unhealthy belief system and wanted to overhaul.
Like most of us, I am a restricter AND an overeater. We have our predictable cycles between the two. So, I started working on the restriction first. I've done pretty well - working on accepting myself and allowing myself to eat. Well, fast forward a few weeks and my clothes are dangerously not going to fit very soon. I haven't been weighing myself or daily food journaling but focusing inward on what I want to eat and allowing myself to eat it. And because I'm coming out of restriction, I want all of the "bad" foods. So, yeah, I gained weight. And now I am holding on with white knuckles not to start restricting BUT I'm trying to figure out the relationship between restriction and eating healthy as a part of self care. I'm so afraid to focus on healthy eating and then completely backslide and be right back where I started - 5lbs (probably) lighter and miserable.
So, how do I do this. Where does - I want to eat healthier foods because they make me feel better cross with restriction. What are the warning signs for "rationalized restriction?"
I think I am seeking this for two reasons - one, I am honestly afraid to gain more weight and two, I feel like crap lately and I think it's all of the crappy food in my body. I WANT to eat better but I don't know how to do it AND not restrict. Does that make sense?
Like most of us, I am a restricter AND an overeater. We have our predictable cycles between the two. So, I started working on the restriction first. I've done pretty well - working on accepting myself and allowing myself to eat. Well, fast forward a few weeks and my clothes are dangerously not going to fit very soon. I haven't been weighing myself or daily food journaling but focusing inward on what I want to eat and allowing myself to eat it. And because I'm coming out of restriction, I want all of the "bad" foods. So, yeah, I gained weight. And now I am holding on with white knuckles not to start restricting BUT I'm trying to figure out the relationship between restriction and eating healthy as a part of self care. I'm so afraid to focus on healthy eating and then completely backslide and be right back where I started - 5lbs (probably) lighter and miserable.
The compromise that I use is that I eat one less healthy meal (at most), and two healthier meals. That way I don't feel like I can't have something that I really care for to eat, and my diet is pretty reasonable health wise. I also eat 120g of carbs/day (that isn't bad I can for example eat small pizza for lunch, dinner with starch, and eggs for breakfast that way, or add small portion of whole wheat bread to breakfast for about 20g of carbs, and eat pastry for about 40g or allot of low carb fruit, it isn't that hard to balance), and I make sure to eat fat with every meal (other then low carb fruit or non starchy vegetables). It seems to work pretty well so far.
I follow the way of the book Overcoming Overeating in that I eat what I want. I don't try to eat healthy, I don't count carbs or calories. I'm still working my way through foods that I haven't allowed myself to eat for years. What I've learned is that you cannot rush this process. I eat better now than I did a few months ago but it's not because I'm trying to eat lighter or healthier it's because that's the way I truly want to eat. I do not restrict when I eat intuitively. There are no crap choices because I don't eat crap. Crap is what comes out of your rear end and I never want to eat that. You have to trust this process and eat what your body is urging you to eat. You will find yourself eating less and less as time goes on and more of the foods that make you feel good. Patience is the key.
I haven't been on in a while because I was trying to really work on this "eating beast" and this site can be very triggering for me to want to lose weight and restrict. I've been thinking about you guys frequently, though! I realized that while I had been doing a lot of intuitive eating, I was still operating on a very unhealthy belief system and wanted to overhaul.
Like most of us, I am a restricter AND an overeater. We have our predictable cycles between the two. So, I started working on the restriction first. I've done pretty well - working on accepting myself and allowing myself to eat. Well, fast forward a few weeks and my clothes are dangerously not going to fit very soon. I haven't been weighing myself or daily food journaling but focusing inward on what I want to eat and allowing myself to eat it. And because I'm coming out of restriction, I want all of the "bad" foods. So, yeah, I gained weight. And now I am holding on with white knuckles not to start restricting BUT I'm trying to figure out the relationship between restriction and eating healthy as a part of self care. I'm so afraid to focus on healthy eating and then completely backslide and be right back where I started - 5lbs (probably) lighter and miserable.
So, how do I do this. Where does - I want to eat healthier foods because they make me feel better cross with restriction. What are the warning signs for "rationalized restriction?"
I think I am seeking this for two reasons - one, I am honestly afraid to gain more weight and two, I feel like crap lately and I think it's all of the crappy food in my body. I WANT to eat better but I don't know how to do it AND not restrict. Does that make sense?
BeachBreeze, I am by no means an expert, and still in the process myself. I feel compelled to respond to your inquiry. I'm telling myself that this might be long, just be warned.
I've studied with Geneen Roth, and I teach Ayurvedic nutrition. What i notice in both of these situations is a process called 'mindful eating' or 'eating meditation'. It's the process of really being with my food. So, before I take a bite, I look at the food. Then I smell it. Then I take a bite and experience what it feel like to have my teeth sink into it. I chew slowly, listening to what it sound like inside my head, and chew it completely, until it is liquified in my mouth. Then I swallow. I feel for the experience of the food flowing down the gullet, and landing in my stomach. (it took me a very long time feel those things.) Then I really empty my mouth, rolling my tongue around making sure that I get all the bits and pieces that might be still in there into my tummy. And then I experience empty.
Empty is scarey for me. I usually take a bite before I'm completely empty because I fear being hungry, not having enough, not getting my share, whatever.
And then, from the place of empty, I inquire if I would like another bite. If I do, I take it. If I don't, I experience what I've eaten by sitting quietly with myself.
What I notice is that it takes a long time to eat like this, and that I often forget, after a bite or two or three, and fall back into my pattern. What I'm noticing now is that if I remember to go back to valuing my experience, I can take a few more experiential bites. And sometimes, I don't.
What I learn is that even a few bites lets me know what feels good to me and what doesn't. And then I make the choices about what to eat from self love, rather than from fear of getting fat, or self loathing. Or the fear that things that will never change so I might as well eat whatever crap some part of me wants to eat.
So, I'm not restricting myself in these situations, I'm being with myself in these situations. This is something that I"m still learning to do, and I'm starting to get that giving myself exactly what I want is a monumental act of self love. And, what I want is continually changing, the more I wake up to what my experience is and what it is that I think I am doing vs what I am really doing.
I'm telling myself that this is hard to follow, and I might be talking in circles. Hope its okay.
I follow the way of the book Overcoming Overeating in that I eat what I want. I don't try to eat healthy, I don't count carbs or calories. I'm still working my way through foods that I haven't allowed myself to eat for years. What I've learned is that you cannot rush this process. I eat better now than I did a few months ago but it's not because I'm trying to eat lighter or healthier it's because that's the way I truly want to eat. I do not restrict when I eat intuitively. There are no crap choices because I don't eat crap. Crap is what comes out of your rear end and I never want to eat that. You have to trust this process and eat what your body is urging you to eat. You will find yourself eating less and less as time goes on and more of the foods that make you feel good. Patience is the key.
I got obese without being on any diets, and without making any restrictions on what I eat, so that doesn't work for everybody. I don't think that I am obsessive about my restrictions but I know that I can get ridiculous appetite when I eat what I want without restrictions.
I got obese without being on any diets, and without making any restrictions on what I eat, so that doesn't work for everybody. I don't think that I am obsessive about my restrictions but I know that I can get ridiculous appetite when I eat what I want without restrictions.
You're on a thread for people who are following intuitive eating, which is eating as your body dictates. Were you paying attention to bodily clues as you became obese or did you stuff yourself until you felt sick? When I say eating without restrictions I mean eating what my body needs as it is dictated, not by what I think it needs.
I got obese without being on any diets, and without making any restrictions on what I eat, so that doesn't work for everybody. I don't think that I am obsessive about my restrictions but I know that I can get ridiculous appetite when I eat what I want without restrictions.
When I first started IE I sort of thought the same thing. I was a dieting failure, honestly I could not stick to a diet for more than a couple of days. I didn't think I was restricting, what the heck does restriction have to do with someone who is binging out of control all the time? I thought my problem was lack of restriction!
I don't knew how to explain it effectively at the moment but it turns out that even the guilt I felt over not being restrictive enough was enough restriction to keep me a a prisoner to food.
