WElcome back Wannabe! Congrats on dropping weight while listening to your body! That is awesome!

I have thinside out and I really like it.

I had food poisoning this weekend and I am still recovering. I definitely shrank my stomach I think. I notice that the hunger and satisfaction signals are even stronger than they were. NOT that I recommend food poisoning as a way to get in touch with your body. I think something like food poisoning just got me out of my head and all I was thinking about was survival. Like I have been eating small amounts through out the day and eating to satisfaction because any more than that makes me feel bad right now. So, I had eaten just recently and then the kids went out to play. My mind immediately clicked into "DESSERT!" and normally I wouldn't question that, dessert after dinner while the kids play outside is normal. But because I had been sick and because dessert is the last thing my body physically wants, I realized that no, I didn't really want that, it was all a mental thing. It was a strong urge though, it really surprised me. Anyway, its been a learning experience for sure. I lost about 5 pounds but Im not really sure if that will last or not. Im just happy to be able to eat again!

@wannabe: that is freaking awesome! Do you think it has anything to do with the fact that you weren't weighing yourself the whole time? this is really great news!

@pinkhippie: I'm sorry to hear you are sick or were sick. that stinks. I hear you though about that mental deal. I was on the couch last night thinking I needed something but I was not hungry so I kept it bay and then S'Mores came into my head and that was it - I had to have one even if it was a microwaved one.

If anyone thinks IE is easy, etc... they are wrong. This is something I have to work on every single hour of every day. the good news is, is that it offers so much relief to me that I cannot even tell you how it has changed my life.

I'm in the office today (I usually telecommute) and it has opened a can of stress that I cannot even explain. Trying to just keep my head down, work, and drink my water.....

@Wannabe, congratulations! I had a feeling you'd lost quite a bit on your vacation.

@Pinkhippie, sorry to hear you've been ill. It's amazing how something like that can reset you.

@Jen, I am a member of reddit, a massive online message board. I've gotten into a few fights with people about IE on that site- lots of fat shamers there. Just yesterday a person got in my face (digitally, I guess) about how IE is just about fat people wanting to stay fat and justify their awful eating habits. Six months ago I wasn't sure if that was the case or not. I remember going to the store and filling my grocery cart with all kinds of goodies because that's what Overcoming Overeating said to do. I had a strange feeling about it "What if I am just justifying my bad habits?" Well guess what, here I am six months later. I've lost a modest amount of weight and my relationship with food is better than ever. I can concentrate on my daily life. I'm not constantly thinking about food, stressing about it, bingeing, purging, hating myself for eating, etc.

No, it's not easy, but it's my only chance to have a normal relationship with food. If I stuck to a 1200 calorie per diem diet and lost all of my weight I would have to calorie count and stress about food for the rest of my life. I'd always be "on the wagon" having to watch what I take in. Every holiday, party, event, etc. that served food would take a toll because I'd be worried about the calories of what I was eating, wondering if I should eat at all, etc. Now I don't stress. Someone brought in donuts the other day- I had just eaten breakfast so I didn't give a sh*t about them. They'd probably also make my stomach hurt. Who wants that?

Pinkhippie that sucks. But you're right, I went through a bout of gastritis last week so I know, our bodies are quick and loud with their needs when we have tummy trouble! Get well quick.

Jensassy, I don't know if my weight loss is directly related to not weighing myself. I do think though that ignorance of my weight in lbs had a significant impact in how I perceived myself and how I evaluated myself. In the chicks in control section I recently started a thread called "losing track of trackers" in which I explained how I put away all tracking devices from my pedometer to my food scale and my calorie counting apps. The scale was the hardest but ultimately all these trackers were making it more and more difficult to connect to my needs. I was always measuring, weighing, counting, logging, journaling, accountability accountability accountability! Letting go has helped me tune into myself more if that makes any sense.

I will reintroduce the scale sparingly now that I'm over the extreme anxiety of my weighing myself weekly and I will begin to use my fitbit again. I missed it but I won't let myself get crazy over it.

Hi All,

11 months ago I was a Scale Addicted, Weight Watching, Calorie Counting, Low Carbing (oh yes, my crazy self combined them all) exercise-aholic, full blown nutjob. I lost 125lbs that way and then my life got turned upside down. DH and I got pregnant and then all of a sudden it was permission to eat everything I had restricted. Well, I lost the pregnancy at 10 weeks; 4 days shy of my 30th Birthday. Needless to say, I was devastated. The Doctor said it was a fluke and not related to my weight. It was rocky from the start (low progesterone) but we'd heard the heart beat and they thought things were looking up. Our next visit they couldn't find the heart beat and I had a D&C the following day. The entire reason I ever wanted to lose weight was for a healthy pregnancy. All that hard work and for what? I felt like my body had betrayed me. I did realize something though - the relationship I had with food and my body was not one I'd want my future children to have. I realized that pretty immediately, but didn't know what to do or how to do it. I gained about 45 pounds back through reckless emotional eating and a bad case of couch potato-itis. That was also devastating for me. Not only had I lost my child, but I'd also lost a body I'd worked so incredibly hard to achieve. I was infuriated with myself, but I also wanted to get to a good place with food and exercise. I read Intuitive Eating and it made sense, but I was still grieving too much to fully grasp it. Fast Foward about 6 months... I've slowly been making healthy life choices. I destroyed my scale a little over a month ago. I also did a lot of soul searching and self reflection on what my goals really need to be. I finally feel like I'm getting to a healthier place with my food issues.

I'd had a bad day so naturally, I wanted to binge. I waited for my husband to take a shower so he wouldn't know. I heard the water come on, opened the box of oreos, took a bite and promptly spit it into the trash - along with the rest of the box. It was borderline stale and I realized that wasn't who I was anymore. Progress.

3FC has always been an incredibly wonderful place for support with like minds. Thanks for taking the time to read this and I hope to get to know you all!

First of all I am so sorry for your pain. My heart hurts for you. Good for you for getting rid of the scale. I am not there yet, but as I type the scale and I are not on speaking terms!! I am really glad you came join us here, hopefully we can all help each other. Have a blessed day.

@locke: I agree that the accountability part of dieting is way harder than IE will ever be. I remember you talking about those whack-o's saying IE was just a way for us to justify all the bad food. but guess what? IE makes food, food. there is no bad food or good food, it's all just fuel/food. I'm still legalizing food I have realized. how could I not? I've been dieting for 30+ years, I can't expect for all foods to be legal in a month or two, there are too many of them that have had that "BAD" label for so long. I've done a good job of getting through many of them but I'm sure I haven't even broached the topic of some that haven't come up yet, kwim?

I also agree that this is the only way to have a normal relationship with food. My exercise this past weekend, really showed that to me. I felt so sad and the anxiety was so bad when I thought of dieting - why would I ever want to go back to that. Constantly shaming myself that I couldn't make it through a few short days, binging on food that's not on someone's predescribed 'list".... I just never want to go back there, but I really would love to lose some of this weight. I just have to hang in there for the long haul - something that I am prone not to do when it comes to my weight. I'm very thankful for all you on this board who have been there done that and can make me realize that IE is the only way to go.....

@Wannabe: back to the fitbit, eh? I've been wearing it but I'm not letting it rule my life. It's interesting stuff, but again, just data. Let us know how it goes.... say did you wear that bikini on your trip???

SoMuchFattitude, you are my HERO!

Somuchfattitude welcome and stay. I'm sorry for your loss. Remember to be kind to yourself above else.

Locke, those crazy people who say we are looking for excuses to eat and be fat come in all shapes and disguises. Some of it is mean spirited, some if it is misery loves company, and some if it is plain old ignorance. My mother noticed my weightloss and my continued weightloss while I was visiting her and we had a good chat about my treatment and IE. She seemed very happy and supportive of me. I told her that I was finally starting to feel like I can get past my food issues and how rejecting the diet mentality had done more for me than anything else ever before. After listening and nodding and marveling at how wonderful this all is she finally said that I need to "really stick to my guns to get the rest of the weight off." So even if people want to understand sometimes they can't, it's just too bizarre of a concept. It's eat over their heads, and that's ok.

Jensassy guess what? I forgot to pack my bikini. And I was so mad when I realized it because I really wanted to wear it lol!

Can you remind me again how to do the one minute meditation?

@Wannabeskinny

I'm so happy that you had that chat with your mom. The results speak for themselves!

Thank you all for the warm welcome!

Tam- I'm a very black and white person. Either I weigh obsessively or not at all. Unfortunately, for the past 3 years it's been obsessive...as in, I may or may not have packed it and taken it on trips with me. Destroying it has been the most freeing feeling ever.

Bama - Aw! Thank you! <3

Hello Ladies! God up at 4am and did 2 laps around the street. My left hip has been hurting, so I did not walk further or too fast to injure it. I took an Aleve this morning to see if it will help. Did GREAT with my eating yesterday. I ate only when hungry and stopped when full. I am just going to focus on that for the present, but it is SO hard to get rid of the diet mentality!! And being diabetic I still need to pay attention to carbs and make sure that I have a protein every time I eat a carb to keep my glucose level in the normal range. By the grace of God, when I begin to lose weight I may be able to be free of Type II diabetes and not have to worry about food groups anymore and by that time I will be VERY good at IE eating. Have a blessed day all!

@Fattitude Welcome!

Ladies,

I think I've found my *true* hunger and fullness signals. I am in strange new territory here. I really just go by how my stomach feels. I can feel that my body is losing weight but this is distinct from the feeling of hunger. It's not that pleasant; sort of an achy feeling but it's not unbearable. I'm a bit cranky. I think my body is adjusting to this way of eating because I'm probably eating less than half the food I was before. It feels *good* though. It feels like I'm doing the right thing. I don't feel like I'm going to binge or anything. I know I can still eat whatever I want when I'm hungry. I knew I was overeating before but I didn't realize how much I was overeating. I will keep you updated on how this new chapter goes.

Welcome Fattitude!

Keep on plugging TamTam.

Great job Locke!

Wannabe - that's funny! Next time and in a smaller size I bet! AND some people just will never understand - NEVER.

Here is the one minute meditation:

Breathe in for 5 seconds (or counts)
Hold breath for 5 seconds (or counts)
Breathe out for 5 seconds (or counts)
Do this sequence 4 times to equal 60 seconds (or counts).
repeat as necessary.

Thanks Jensassy, I'm going to try it today in my next inevitable moment of panic.

Locke, if you don't analyze and question this particular phase it will stick around. Enjoy!

I'm walking around the city today feeling skinny. I like it. It's gotten me thinking about my perception of other people, skinny people. I used to walk around in amazement at how other people could just BE thin. There are so many thin people around that I sincerely doubt that all of them are feeling tortured about how hard it is to be skinny. Surely this all comes naturally to them. I've always thought to myself "how do they do it? How do they stay so thin? How do they survive on such little food? Why aren't they eating everything in sight?" These were my constant thoughts. The more I thought about how easy it was for them the worse I felt about myself. Because there has to be something wrong with me. They know the secret and I don't! Why am I not deserving of the secret?

So when I first started nutritional therapy my NT asked me point blank what are my perceptions of skinny people or "normal people" as I usually refer to them. Naturally I said that skinny people hate food, they don't like to eat and are most likely lying about eating. They must be the exact opposite of me: eating in public for show and not eating at all in private. I couldn't explain why they would eat cake and be slim. Logically I know this makes no sense and I was really surprised those words came out. But that was the truth at the time.

Now I have realized that my thinking has changed along side my improved self image. I see skinny folks now and I know they don't have special superpowers. I know exactly how they remain slim. I feel like I'm in on the secret and that it's only a matter of time until I lose more weight. I don't know when but I don't care. I feel good.