[DNW]

One day down, 30 more to go..

Points: 3
Food: 1831 cals....just under the wire....whew!!
Water: 64 oz.
Exercise: 2 mile walk this morning

Just got back from drawing class and I am starving so I will have a strawberry smoothie, which is included in my planned food for today.

I hope I can meet the challenge in the long run...I alway start out so good!

Good luck to everyone

[Tiffany123]

Hellooooo ladies. Ok, this challenge was a wash for me too. At least today. I was so busy, I didn't even GET a drink until afternoon and then I needed the caffeine so bad, I had a Diet Pepsi...the exercise I did and the food was fine.

Ok...*sad, sad face*
I am NOT going to be able to keep track of Challenge points this time around. I am so freaking busy right now, that I just can't promise to stay on top of it. So, either someone else will have to do it, or everyone can keep track of their own points.

Here is the scoop with the job/jobs. I registered with the University of Illinois so I could try to get on with them. I registered with them 8 months ago. They just now called me about a temp job. There is no guarantee that this will turn into a full time job. There is no parking. I drive from out of town and have to park in a metered parking place. Six dollars a day, $30 a week, $120 a month. I have to pay this out of my own pocket. There are permit parking places, but the waiting list is approx 10 years long. No joke.

Now, I was working at the County Clerks office before that. It was a temp job through a temp agency. There is a position opening up that they will have to fill. Odds are, they would have filled it with me IF the current County Clerk is re-elected on Nov. 5th. The pay was less than the University, but actually, after I pay for parking...it might be even.

Mike thinks the University would be a better choice. I had conflicting feelings about leaving the County Clerk's office to go to the College. If I were to just quit, I would not have had a chance at getting back on, so I told them that I had a death in the family and I was leaving the state for a week. (I KNOW, that was terrible)

Now, in the meantime, I am trying out the University. I came home today and checked my email, and the temp agency sent me an email saying that they sent another temp to the County Clerks office on Monday and the CC office called her today and said they wanted me back when I came back to town, and what did they need to do to get me more money?! I almost died.

I felt awful leaving them, I liked the job, enjoyed it a lot and now they want to pay me more money and they want me back after I left...and I really want to come back.

I guess I am afraid of hurting Mike's feelings. He had asked a friend to recommend me for the University job and I don't want him to look bad if I quit. BUT, I think that it is more important for me to like my job and enjoy it than to work somewhere else that I don't like anywhere near as much, AND HAVE TO PAY THAT MUCH TO FREAKING PARK EVERY DAY.

I guess, I am talking to you guys about this to hear you say, YES! Go back to the County Clerks office. Go BACK to free parking!

So, you can say it any time now.

Moving on...Tig...your balls are completely gone are they? *giggle*

Huntress, I hope you feel better. Feeling bad sucks.

Cafe, Jello, Semo, Kayla, Dyan, DNW, anyone else I missed....Hi! Glad you all are kicking butt and taking names!

Ok, all this thinking made me tired. I am off to bed. Too many decisions to be made.

Hugs to all,
Tiffany

[Tigerlily]

Goodmorning!
Last day of babysitting!

Tiff, take the job that you like best!

Gotta get the kidlens ready for school. Snails! They are like snails in the morning.

[Jello]

Tiff, I'll say it too. Take the county job. Mike will understand if you explain it to him like you explained it to us. If you take the university job and hate it, you'll only resent it and maybe even him for "forcing you" to take it.

OK, my turn for comforting words?? I went to the gym last night. Was happily exercising. Then I went into the room where the treadmills and elliptical machines are. Started walking over to "my" machine ... and saw myself in the mirrored walls.

... I AM SOOOOOO FAT!!!!!!

Remember when we were all trying to find one thing about our bodies we like? Nothing here.

I guess I was just so shocked to see myself in those tight workout pants and that T-shirt with my big ol' gut sticking out. OMG!!! Why haven't I ever noticed how ugly this body is!?!?!

Girls, I actually felt sick when I saw myself. I got on the machine and started plugging away (didn't help that on the next machine was the little tanned spandex bimbo weighing in at 100 lbs. including the perfectly coiffed hairdo and curled eyelashes). I couldn't stop watching myself in the mirror and seeing myself as I now know everyone else sees me. The big fat girl who comes to the gym thinking she can get thin.

OK, I did stay on the machine for 30 minutes but was so depressed afterward. Usually, I feel really good when I leave the gym. Not this time. I just wanted to go home and hide. Went home and snarled at Rich for a while, paused to feed my face (hey, the fat girl can't pass up food, can she?) and went to bed.

Today, I'm feeling a little better but it still seems like such a long journey and I'm not so sure I have the stamina.

Let me pause to thank each and every one of you because thinking of you guys is what I'm hoping will help keep me in this 3-point challenge and keep me on this journey. I'm going to NEED you guys.

... help?...

[Dyanm1]

Ahhh Jello.......Big Hug , Honey we've all been there. I remember the first time I saw what you did. I was walking into a building and saw my reflection in the big ole reflective windows....the whole building was made out of the stuff. I could NOT believe that I actually looked like that. I didn't feel as though I looked that fat, but there I was, as fat as day. I got so depressed! . But I think that was part of what kick started my fat butt into gear. I can't until the day that I can see my reflection and think...DAMN, I look GGGOOOOODDDD . Trust me, our day will come. We'll take it one day at a time, or in some cases, one meal at a time, but we we'll get through this. Don't even think about dropping out of the challenge (I am gonna kick your tail, you know! ), because the "challenge" is basically the three things that we know work. Water, Exercise and Food ~ within limits. So come on, pick up you boot straps and let's get busy.

Tiff ~ Okay...I'm gonna tell ya what cha wanna hear TAKE THE COUNTY JOB!! :hypno2: . K? nough said.

I will "try" to keep track of the points. I'll do it on Sundays.

Hope everyone has a super-dee duper day

[Tigerlily]

Tiff, on second thought, find a job that lets you play online the most

Oh Jello, been there too. One of my worst was after the holidays last year. My mom gave me copies of some pictures that were taken at the family gathering. Really made me cringe too think she gave copies to everyone else. I didn't even recognize myself. I looked swollen.

So, lets strive for improved reflections!

[DNW]

Hey Buds!!

Jello: Come on now...read what you have underneath your name. I do every time I come to this site and it inspires me. We all start at the beginning...no one starts at the end. You can do it, and you know you can, you may not want to try one more time, but you will because we are all in the same boat, and we are each other's rock through this all. I cannot tell you how much reading your posts and everyone else's has strengthened my resolve. You are beautiful, and so are the rest of us. Besides a great deal of those 100 lb. women have the genes to pretty much stay that way with some work.

Tiffany: Take the county job, Mike will understand if you explain the economics to him. A good state job is a good state job, whether it's a university or a county clerk's office and now they are offering you more money at CC office...take it...take it...you have leverage there!! Only take the university job if you want to go back to school for free. ..since generally state schools will let you go tuition free, if you work there. Otherwise the benefit package is the same...at least that's how it is in Jersey.

Hi to Semo, Dyan, Kayla, Huntress and anyone else who stops in today...love you all.

[Tiffany123]

Jo, try this: Think of the bimbo at the gym when you do it!

http://sugar3.com/sugarcards/sq_view...n_YoodooVoodoo

Works if you have sound on your computer. The screams are too good to miss.

[Tigerlily]

I'm getting my hair cut and colored today. I'm clueless. This humidity the last couple of days hasn't helped. I'm having shaved head thoughts. Tried looking online for a style, but ISP so slow, takes too long to load pages. Restorting to the JCP catalog for ideas. LOL Guess I'll have to go through the books when I get there. Wondering if I cut the flippy's off around my ears and neck if it will make my face look fatter?! Or, maybe it will "open it up", looking thinnner. hmmm.
It's a wonder I can pick out panties in the morning.

[SEMO]

Hi guys! Amazing how good your mood is when your being good, diet and exercise wise..... And I'm in a pretty darn good mood.

Tiff, that site is TOO FUNNY. I love it and am going to send to a couple of people. Ditto on taking the job for the county. Listen to you instincts and you won't go wrong.

Jello, as said before "We've all been there and bought that t-shirt" Don't fall into the trap of feel bad, eating, feeling worst. We didn't get fat overnight and we ain't gonna lose it overnight. But we can make a difference when we really try. I believe in you and know that you CAN do it, we all can and will.

I have Yoga tonight and looking forward to it, especially since every muscle in my body is still sore from lifting those weights on Sunday.

Gotta run, you all have a great day.

[Cafe976]

Hi everyone!

Awww, Jello. Yep, walking downtown has been a similar experience for me. Now here's what you have to do. Go back again tonight. Screw those skinnygirls! You know their secret, and it's that darn gym! Don't let them keep it, take it away by making it YOUR secret. Then get out some of that yummy-smelling lotion (that, like me, you probably have but don't use) and rub it on your skin to remind yourself that you're beautiful too, and you're worth it.

[Jello]

Thanks you guys. I feel better. I knew you'd understand. I'm almost done with my "I'm so fat and some others are thin and they can eat whatever they want and I can't and IT'S NOT FAIR" yadda yadda yadda mood. It just gets tough sometimes. I know I should use it as motivation and I'm trying. A for effort, right?

Tiffany, loved the website. I played with it for hours! Well, OK, minutes anyway. Had to try all the buttons at least twice. I can think of many people I wish this worked with.

Tig, I have a few of those photos floating around myself! BTW, how'd the cut and color go?

Cafe, OMG, how'd you know!? I got a gift cert. last year for my b-day to Bath and Body Works and used it for lotions and creams, etc. And I never use them!!!! Hm, you been sneakin' 'round my boudoir lately?

Hey, look, I spelled boudoir! And used it correctly in a sentence! How very ... french of me.

Anyway, I guess I'll just stick with this weight-loss thing and keep on plugging after all. With you guys on my side, how can I lose ... uh, not lose ... uh, how can I .... ????

Oh, you know what I mean.

[Cafe976]

Jo - You caught me. LOL. I was careful not to leave fingerprints...

I guess I've noticed that I don't make much time for self-care anymore. What's up with that? When did it stop being important to shave my legs, paint my toenails or feel pretty? I'm worth a little extra attention. But then again do I -BELIEVE- I'm worth a little extra attention?? I wonder if it's like a deep-down why bother to braid the tail that lays on the horse's *** kind of feeling. But I don't ever even think about it. It's not conscious. I don't even recognize a desire for pampering. It's just something I'm trying to do instead of feeding my body - take care of it instead. I'm hoping that doing good by myself in this way will change things up and help remove any emotional need to eat. Yet I don't even consciously emotionally eat; but I'm assuming that it's happening without me acknowledging it. Why else is it hard to diet?

I've been trying to focus on this and feel like I'm counting self-care challenge points. Of course I'm NOT. But you know.

~Cafe, who accidentally ate a prime rib sandwich for lunch and has to figure out how many points THAT is. But I think this was situational evil eating. I was there - it was there - I ate it. It's hard when I make lunch plans with people who want to go out. I don't THINK I eat lunch out that often so I always want something tasty. Like I don't want to spend my mad money on diet food, yuck! I guess I have to work on that mindset.

[GeTtInG_ThErE2]

Hey girls!

Im happy you are feeling better jello! cause I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!! hehehe.....you have a fantastic personality, dont ever let anyone make you feel bad about yourself! youre great!!!!

TIFFF! i miss you! you never talk to me anymore! hows the job sitch? TALK TO MEEEEEEE!!!!!!! lol.

SEMO, Hi MUM! how are you?? how is that friend of yours doing? ive been praying for her!

Cafe, whats up? good job on making yourself feel good instead of eating! thats fantastic!!!

Huntress, i miss you too! where ARE you? dont be leaving me now! and even if you check out of this board (which were not letting you do) E-MAIL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi TIG! hows things????

Nurse, whatchya up to? Im up to a thousand things! too many to list!!!

I havent been on this board for like, forever! did you guys miss me??? Ive been INCREDIBLY busy!!!! i just found out too that im going away for my christmas break to a youth parliament thingamabober! its going to be a blast....but i do have to leave the day after christmas, and i dont come home until new years eve! which means i will have to cancel my annual new years eve party! but,,,,meh! some things are more important! and more fun! i think i will desperatly need to get out of this town by christmas anyways, and why would i want to spend a week rotting my brain and watching tv when i could be filling it with knowledge and meeting new people!

Well anywho! i have to go to bed! i have a social and english exam tommorrw! i studied hard so i hope i will breeze right through~! im praying!!!
one of my favorit quotes is :as long as there are exams there will be prayer in public schools!

hehehe

so true, so true! anyways my lovely ladies!
I will talk to you all soon! and if i dont come around.....EMAIL ME!

[email protected]!
there now you dont have an excuse! its there!!! hehe
luv you all!
-Kayla

[huntress]

Hope you're all doing well. Sorry, haven't had time to visit with you all lately been too busy watching Hurricane Lili. I get way too stressed when those things get close to us.

Glad to hear that you're feeling better Jello. Just be patient and the weight will come off, as I'm sure you already know. Sometimes I walk around all day long thinking to myself "I'm skinny, I'm skinny, I'm skinny" and then go to the mirror just to check and see. One of these days when I get there I'm really gonna get a big shock because I will be!

Tiffany - take the job that pays the best, lets you play on the internet and that you like! Seriously though, you are an extremely intelligent lady, you know what's best for you, do that!

I should be able to talk you all more tommorow when my parents and brother leave to go to Las Vegas. I will have the office computer all to myself

Not doing great on the challenge so far, but today is another day and I'm committed to doing this.

LJ