[Sakai]

Yes.... that's right... everyone who has been following me knows that my BF and I have been having issues....well guess what

He broke up with me last night when I went to take him some dinner when he got out of work.

I was sad at first... I cried in pain and sorrow for a total of 3 seconds.

Then I forced him to sit there with me for 3 hours while I ripped him a new one. Then, I took him to my house and I made him apologize to my family, for betraying not only me again, but them. They trusted him, accepted him when he returned to me. He had to owe up to what he was doing. No dumping me and fade into the shadows like the first time... no... I made him be a man about it.

How dare he say that it's hard to be with me when i'm the way I am right now..my mother is DYING...I'm not going to be happy-go-lucky.

I Tried hard, I know I made some mistakes but I owed up to them and fixed them. I was smothering, greedy, and over emotional, I owed up to it.. and fixed it.
I didn't fail in anything
I fought for him because he was worth the fight.
He is greedy, self centered, living in his own fantasy world with other "Friends" Who are just as stupid and unrealistic as any college kid is.
Well I'm sorry I'm too mature for him. That I don't feed his little fantasy world the way he wants me to.

He took this break up far harder than I did. He cried, sobbed, almost to the point of making himself sick. While i sat there, no tears, no freaking out.. being the rational one, telling him it's all right. He felt sad, depressed, lost, that he failed me (again) that he wanted to crawl in bed and sleep the pain away, or better yet, hide in a corner and die. It was kinda strange because...we switch positions...When he left me last year...I felt just as he feels now. And he was the calm rational one.

It scared me, because I know how close I was to taking my own life then. I made him swear up and down to me that he would get some help. I still love him. I will always love him no matter what. He has not forgiven himself for leaving me the first time.

Why he left me...I don't know...he said he couldn't deal with having to be careful around me. THE VERY SAME REASON HE LEFT ME LAST TIME! we had talked about this...told him he can talk to me about whatever he wants. Even if he thinks it will hurt me.
He confused, and does not know what he wants.... he's a little boy. I made him swear, not to do anything to ruin his life. He feels he is worthless, that he'll never be anything. So I told him... he wasn't worthless, in fact he was priceless to me. I didn't use 3 years of my young life on him if I didn't think he was worth it. I don't make friends willy nilly like he does. He knows I don't waste time on people who are not worth it... or not up to my standards. (druggies, smokers, drinkers, party go-ers, rude or just plain mean people)
I didn't want him to screw up his life just because.."my life is worthless, no one will care."

He's done things that really piss me off. like 'bat the the kneecap' mad. but... i'm letting it go... it does not matter anymore.

This is not my fault... it's his. he didn't want to fight hard enough for me. He didn't want the struggle of my dealling with a dying parent. So there.... his loss. He will know what he lost.... he will be alone again and wonder why he didn't say with me. I know he will.. the big stupid jerk

(Wow that was a bit long @_@ )

[nelie]

I think you will be better off without him. I do wish you luck and give yourself time to heal.

[freiamaya]

I too have been broken up with by a boyfriend, and watched him spend the night sobbing. My personal thought at that time was: You broke up with ME, and I'M supposed to COMFORT YOU???? You IDIOT!!!
I also remember breaking up with a boyfriend, who got mad at me and told me that "I couldn't find anyone better than [him]". I said that I would be willing to take that chance!!!
Good for you for taking him to your parent's place to apologize!
You'll get through this.

[fitbyforty]

You should be proud of yourself.You are dealing with this like the string person you can be.It hurts yes but it does get better everyday.Moving on is long overdue for you.You can do better,take time heal yourself learn to like yourself more and when you come to the conclusion that you are worth much better then maybe you can look for someone worthy.Don't rush you are young and have your whole life ahead of you.

[sotypical]

You should be very proud of yourself. Way to go. And I agree, you are better off without him - he sounded like a *insert nasty name here* from your other posts.

[boarderchick]

Sounds like, in a way, you broke up with him too. I say, as you said, that you're better off without him. You've obviously already done your grieving over this relationship the last time. You're free!

[Rosario]

I quickly read over your last posts and I have to say you are handling this awesomely!!! Good for you!!!

With your attitude, you should be able to move on with no problems. Good luck!!!

[Jen415]

I'm very impressed....I've followed your story for awhile, and I think you handled it very well. Good show!

[thinbefore40]

Sounds like bipolar??? I am not judging, but I haven't followed the story...

I was just dumped by someone recently too and it hurts!

[mudbugs]

Good for you. I know what you are going thru right now with your mom, and you know what? There are men out there that are supportive and loving no matter what you are going through in life, and you know darn well that that is the kind of man you deserve. You will find him. (and, I'm still praying for your mom, too.)

[liz321]

sounds like bipolar??????? That was a little harsh.

Hang in there sak...all the best

L

[Sakai]

lol yeah it does sound a bit bipolar. it's just he's done this before so I was more mad than upset. It still hurt, but I know that it is his fault, that I did all in my power to help it work. So, I'm not as hurt as I was the last time he did this to me.

Thanks for the support everyone. I know I will get through this just fine. ^_^ I'm the one that makes me happy, I can't trust anyone else to make me happy.

[sli]

Your doing a great job at handeling the situation! Its the best thing for you!
Good Luck!!

[phantastica]

Originally Posted by Sakai

He broke up with me last night when I went to take him some dinner when he got out of work.

How rude! He sounds clueless and emotionally stunted. I, too, think you are better off without him. I hope you are doing well, taking good care of yourself, and keeping busy with fun things and going out with friends. Take care!

[Sakai]

Hi Phantastica... I love your name by the way.
Gah! I have no life.. *pout*.. I only have one friend, and I don't see her very often because she works alot. So I'm mostly at home with going out of my mind with cabin fever.. or at the gym.
I've become slightly depressed because I've suddenly become so very lonely. Even with family around. I'm still not going to have a melt down...I know what I'm doing is right even though it hurts a whole lot right now. The anger is gone and so now I'm feeling the pain of it all.