laziness...bah... let them walk just one day in our shoes. cooking, cleaning, chasing the kids. It's not laziness, it's us not having the TIME to take proper care of ourselves. Yes we do need to take that time, but just try and find it some days...UGG. Its amazing when you hear the thoughts of some people. Lets see how they would look passing a couple of watermellon shaped objects from their privates after 9 long months of emotional eating!
I think his heart is in the right place, but he left his brains in highschool. We just cant stay looking the way we did back then, and they have to realize that, because before to long, it will be their turn... Their bodies will thicken while thier hair thins, and their bones will ache while reaching for the Viagra they never used to need... or maybe they just got lazy
Sorry hun, I'm not bashing your man, as I'm sure you love him, just as I love Mine. I just think some times they need to give their head a shake!
Take care of yourself, and do what you need to do FOR YOU!
ugh, you are all so right, men are just not even the same species.
mine has been doing atkins since after thanksgiving. i started sugar busters after christmas. omg! i should have never told him. now its a COMPETITION! I feel like im on biggest loser or something.... he compares what we eat, his new years resolution is who can lose more..........
i love him to death (with a hammer would be my choice) and i know its how "guys do stuff", but sometimes.........
a) your husband can't find it in himself to find you attractive just cos you're a bit chubby and
b) that he feels the need to tell you so bluntly.
((((hugs))))
They should add "in slimness and in fat" to the wedding vows, shouldn't they - everything else is there.
This is a hard one - I am tempted to say stuff him, lose weight if YOU want to, not just because he wants you to - but it's not as easy as that is it?
At the end of the day, you want to be happy with him and you want him to be happy with you - you want to be happy together.
Baldness, he can't do anything about, being overweight you can!!
And mothers don't help, do they?
Are YOU happy with yourself? That is the question you need to ask. If you are not happy with yourself and your weight, then it is up to you to do something. But do it for you, not for him.
Rambling is what the forums are for! Does he ever take care of the kids? Maybe he wouldn't equate heaviness with laziness if he knew what you did all day
Just out of curiousity, are you a college student? I ask because most colleges offer free or reduced counseling services. I wasn't too sure about it, but I love having someone to go vent to once a week who also gives me good suggestions.
He also equates fat with laziness... to my surprise. And to say anything else would allow me to think he loves me being fat. ( in his mind). Sooooo I guess it really is unfair,
He needs to be educated more, being fat or having an eating problem is NOT being lazy. Is having a disease or addiction being lazy?
He should learn to choose his words more wisly instead of hurting you like he did. Remember the old saying, if you can't say something nice than don't.
If my DH ever said anything like that to me, I dont' think I could ever let him touch my body without feeling like I'm lazy and unworthy. Those types of comments would crush my spirit.
I agree with Leenie. IF my husband ever said that ....I would be so angry and absolutely crushed!!! He has seen me heavy, heavier, slim and chunky. And all through out.....has said, I am the most beautiful person in the world. Part of my problem stems from my own lack of self worth and poor body image perception. I have finally made headway thru some of my issues and the weight is coming off. Over the years, many people have said I should model and I know that I've also carried my weight well, so I know you're comments only to well. My inlaws were just visiting and while dining out one night, my FIL said...." here, I'll pass the dessert menu to you as you're the most likely to have some" I WAS FLOORED!!! Hello?....I've just lost 30lbs and you can only think I want to scarff down a piece of cake?
angel-eyes... that is brutal! Yes, we can relate! Well, what is done is done I guess, just have to deal with it better. Deep breath ! Thanks for all your support ladies! I am sure I will vent another day!
[QUOTE=Totally Neck-ed] He also said he loves me and I am beautiful.. from the neck up. (grrrrrrr). And to say anything else would allow me to think he loves me being fat. ( in his mind)
QUOTE]
In the famous words of Tina Turner---What does LOVE have to do with it?!?!
Just because you have a few excess pounds...what right does he have to qualify his love for you? He should LOVE you no matter what you look like, no matter what you weigh...after all, HE married YOU, not your weight. Now, should he choose to not like the fact that you have a few extra pounds...that's different. There's things about MY husband I don't LIKE just like I'm sure there are things about yours you don't like...but it doesn't mean I don't LOVE him...and don't get me wrong, I know your husband loves you...that's not my point at all. What he needs to realize is that there is a difference about not liking something about that person and not loving the person for it...and word it that way. I know my husband doesn't LIKE the fact that I've gained 45 pounds since we got married, but he loves his babies and he knows that it's just a part of life...but he doesn't allow it to affect his love for me, and I've never heard him vent to his buddies about my weight...in fact one of them is always saying how he would have asked me out first had he known me before jimmy...and is still saying it! It's all in fun, but it does make me feel GOOO-OOOD!
hang in there, okay?
almostheaven:good call!!! that would be hilarious!
I know what you mean. I feel the same is true about me. I grew up the skinny pretty girl and now I am fat with a pretty face. I can see a huge difference in the way people treat me as compared to then and it really sucks. It is bad enough strangers do that, let alone having to deal with it at home. My Dh subtly hints once in a while about my needing to lose weight--he's more the motivating type than to criticize, kwim?-- he knows it is a sensitive subject. But boy would he get an *** kicking if he said what yours did.
hang in there, okay?
that would be hilarious!
