[imabehot]

It hurts. She posted on face book that she was here seeing her parents (And angry post at her kids). Then it turns out she left without telling her children she was leaving their state and calls them selfish for being upset. I can't believe this. And I can't believe she didn't tell me..... it hurts so bad. She always does this. I haven't seen her since I was 13... I'm 18. She says she misses me yet never comes to see me when she's in town. I want to cry. It's not fair to me. I'm adopted and rarely saw her through out my life. And now it's still the same. I wanted to go see her in her state.... but I'm having second thoughts. Why should I go see her when she refuses to come see me? I love my sister over there... maybe when she moves out one day I'll go see her and not see my mom. I'm filled with anger and sorrow. She is the selfish one. She got pregnant with me at 16 because she wanted the attention it's obvious. She made it obvious. I don't know what to do.

[imabehot]

I feel a little better now. I just told myself the words that will be on my new tattoo-keep moving forward. Then I told myself the beginning of the ending song to that movie. "Let it go. Let it roll right off your shoulder. Don't you know? The hardest part is over. Let it in. Let your clarity define you. In the end... We will only just remember how it feels." Little Wonders - Rob Thomas I feel a lot better.

[Moving Forward]

I can definitely see why you are hurt. Faced with a person in my life who repeatedly hurt me by letting me down, a wise person gave me the best advice. I was told to expect nothing, but be ever so grateful at the smallest gesture. This advice really helped to shift my mindset. I hope it might help you.

[doingmybest]

I know that this is very hard on you, but try to remember that this is all about her, not you. Your latest post said it all.

I would have saved myself decades of pain if I could have learned that earlier in my life. I am now learning to detach myself from all of the damage caused by my mother. I decided not to have her toxicity in my life and to move on. I have learned to accept her for who she really is and I am working on forgiving her.

I wish you a happy and peaceful future. I am sending you hugs.

[Palestrina]

I can't imagine how hard that must be. Frankly she sounds like a very immature self centered person. That is absolutely no reflection on you. You are lucky that you have surpassed her in emotional intelligence. The next step is to block her from Facebook. Does she deserve you? No.

[Claygirl1518]

I agree with Moving Forward.

My Dad is a high functioning Narcissist, and coming to terms with who he really is has been the most painful realization of my life. The only way I have been able to come to understand what I'm dealing with is that he is truly incapable of loving me. A lot of my self worth issues and issues with food stem from him. He is a plastic surgeon and he and my grandma disparaged me about my personality, my weight, my emotions, and anything else they could use against me my whole life. My Mom suffers from major depressive disorder and was also quite horrible to live with, and treated me like her own personal therapist my whole childhood, and still does.

The only way for me to deal with this as an adult, is to know what to expect from them, and not expect any more. I don't expect my Dad to call me on my birthday, he never does. I don't expect him to tell me he loves me, or show any affection. I do expect him to torment me, so when he doesn't I'm pleasantly surprised. I expect my mother to be an emotional mess and try to drag me down with her. In this way I can defend myself. Genes do not make you family. My friends have always been my family. Hope is by far the most painful thing when it comes to a parent that doesn't love you unconditionally. You hope they will change, that they really do love you but can't show it for some reason.

In my case, it's sad, but giving up hope of a better relationship with my parents has freed me from some pain. It sounds like you're figuring out how to cope and see what is important for you too.