Quote:
Originally Posted by SouthernMaven
I know I'm late to the game here, but I found reading this thread very interesting, particularly in light of the fact that when my husband and I were young and childless, we found ourselves in a similar situation.
In our case it was my oldest brother's wife who was always asking me to babysit my young nieces and nephews. Fortunately there were none of the complications you're describing, and I loved all of them. But my husband and I didn't have children for seven years, and there was a reason for that - we LIKED it that way!
Unfortunately the requests became more frequent and more intrusive, so I suddenly found myself in an awkward position of having to "back off" and it did create hard feelings. For this reason I think you are wise to set the proper tone from the outset.
The reason I bolded a.) in the quote above is because in my mind, that's reason enough. You don't even have to get to b.)
You don't owe your SIL anything. There is absolutely no reason to feel guilty OR obligated.
See how easy these things get when you get to be OLD, like me???  |
Heh, I can only hope to get to the point where none of this phases me anymore and I can handle it all with grace and a touch of humor.
You give me hope that that day may come!
We try to help family where and when we can because we love them and because family has helped us in the past so it feels like the good thing to do. But you're right, we're not obligated. And while I'm happy to watch the older ones on occasion as a favor to their parents, I'm not exactly sitting in the back jumping up and down going,
"Oooh, oooh, pick me to babysit!" My husband and I enjoy our time with the kids, but we like it best in small doses. *shrugs* I don't have a maternal bone in my body and my husband is much the same. I don't consider it a fault, it's just who we are. I know some people consider that to be a major personal failing though, especially in a woman because women are "supposed" to be naturally drawn to children and nurturing and all that. Oh well.
I'm sorry to hear you got stuck in an awkward situation with your SIL in the past, SouthernMaven, it can be especially prickly to sort out with family.
I hope you were able to eventually get past that with her. Thanks for weighing in.
