oh honey, i'm so sorry, tell me where he is and i'll kick his *** ;)
i live in italy right now and italian guys are called "mammoni" you know stuck with their mom/parents untill they're at least 35 years old. i'm not saying all of them are the same and i hope i didn't offend anyone but most of the italian guys i've met are not seroious at all when it comes to girls. when i go out they always hit on so much younger girls, like 35 y old on a 20 y old girl and it's so gross. and i've talked to the boys and they just say that they don't want to get marry soon in this economy crisis, bla bla butin reality they just mature later than average boys haha and also there are so little males going to uni. so in one hand you should be happy you got rid of him. i'm sure you can find a 100 times better bf than this one.

Thanks for that...it makes me feel a bit better missunshine.

That's totally it. His bro is getting married now and he's 37. My bf...ex :( is 31. And he does love to travel but he's also totally a mamma's boy and talks to his mother every.single.day. I'm so sad because He just...was different. Was the first time in my life when I totally, totally believed in someone and thought that they'd never hurt me.

I didn't see it coming at all. Never expected it. Noone I know did.

Just wanted to say *hugs* and I am sorry you are going through this. Everything happens for a reason, even though it sucks when you are going through it. You are a beautiful girl and deserve someone to make you happy for the rest of your life. You will find Mr. Right, I am sure of it. :)

Originally Posted by Bex1984:
And yes, via text. And left his new everything, now I know why he never bought the big screen tv he wanted, wasn't sure about coming to another wedding with me in June, and lots of little things that I totally overlooked are falling in place.

Meanwhile we were totally happy, and he gave no indication anything was wrong. Totally the opposite. Actually, I reeeeealllly thought ht would be proposing in Italy.

I'm so stupid. I overlooked the signs he was about to bolt.

I'm so sorry this happened to you. It still doesn't quite add up though. What is he going to do with all his stuff he left behind? Nothing? Start over? Buy new everythings? :hug: Hang in there.

Everything I learned about boys I learned in kindergarten - boys are stupid, let's throw rocks at them :)
Years ago, I was with a guy, he proposed to me. Things were fine, then my parents and his mom came to do wedding planning. We wrote the guest list or whatever, the next day, he was gone. Geek, but whatever.
It hurts and it sucks, but you will get stronger because of it. I love this song "A little bit stronger" by Sara Evans.
I hope you feel a little bit better every day, hang onto your gf's too.

Originally Posted by NiagaraGrl:
I love this song "A little bit stronger" by Sara Evans.

What a beautiful song, just listened on youtube with lyrics.

I'm really sorry this happened to you. I hate when life throws curve balls.

Things are very raw still but decide soon what you are going to say to him when he calls to say he made a mistake. Trust me it's coming... Do you want to chance it? Good luck on whatever you decide. :hug:

:hug:

I know it sucks right now, but take breath!

Regroup and move on and do what you want to do. You are no longer burdened with a relationship that was holding you back from realizing the things you want to do.

Sometimes life throws this cr@p at us and we aren't ready. But give it some time, it's learning experience. Been there done that!

Ugh, what an a$$. Once I had a very serious bf who I thought was "the one" until I came home from work one night and all his stuff was gone!! No note, no call, nothing. It was like he vaporized (really the jerk just got scared and moved back home with his mother). Long story short, after a couple weeks of "poor me" I decided to move across the country, which I had always wanted to do, met my DH and 19 years later, am happier than I ever thought possible.
So my suggestion is to go ahead and travel, chase your dreams, and good (much, much better than him) stuff will happen!

Originally Posted by MarjorieMargarine:
The only thing worse than wasting a year on that guy is wasting a year and a day.

I agree! I had this same thing happen to me! Well, not quite, but very similar. I thought I had found the one. We dated for three years, very happy, still romantic, great sex still.... Then he went away for a week, 'lost his phone' and then avoided me when he got home.

No explanation. He didn't care. I felt discarded. Finally after a week, I was able to talk with him and he said he wanted to experience 'other body types.' It took me years really fully let it go, but I did and I'm so happy I did. You have to realize that you are f***ing awesome and he is the one that sucks. Which is true, obviously. So trust that things always work out as they are meant to and keep your focus on your awesome self! :)

Originally Posted by Arctic Mama:
I'd be very hurt in your position too. But honestly he did you a favor - imagine how much worse it would be if he showed this side of himself when more time had passed or deeper commitments were in place. Him being an indecisive little boy (because no real man would treat a woman with such disrespect) has to sting like mad, but in the long run its a blessing in disguise.

I know it doesn't feel like that right now, unfortunately :grouphug:

Agreed. Sad but good thing you know now what a horrid man he is.

Marjorie Margarine is giving you great advice....You will be fine in time and better off in time. Not to minimize your feelings; but take the time to have your pity party .. and then get to work....take care of yourself and now you can focus your energy on you. You will persevere!

Originally Posted by om namah shivaya:
No explanation. He didn't care. I felt discarded. Finally after a week, I was able to talk with him and he said he wanted to experience 'other body types.' )

What a jerk! Honestly I don't think I would EVER get over something like that. Don't you just love it that a guy can act like a total moron, be incredibly rude and immature and then turn around and say "it's your fault." There is a special place in h#ll for guys like that.

When someone shows you who he is believe him the first time. I'm sorry this happened... Be strong and end all contact with him... Take care of yourself.

Yea, that's how I felt for a long time actually. But there comes a point when you're not completely sad and miserable (believe me!) and you begin to see the situation as very heavy, unpleasant baggage that just eats away at you. I had to drop it and move forward, instead of living in the past and the 'what ifs.' It took me four years (MUCH longer than the actually relationship) to really have a light heart again. What did it for me was imagining how messed up he must be to not be able to accept someone's heart and love. When he found it with me, he got scared and dropped it. What a life he must live? How lonely, and what a serious issue. My hope for him is that he is able to figure it out and be happy one day because he's an amazing person and truly deserves it, regardless of how things went down between us. He has problems, and shoot, who doesn't. I just happened to be on the bad receiving end this time. Today, almost five years after the fact, all I have for him is compassion and I still keep him in my prayers. I can forgive, but I tell you what: I will never forget. There's a story I heard once about a woman coming to spiritual leader and guru, Maharaji. The woman said something like "Friend, my life is full of misery. People around me are starving, there is so much illness and worry. My husband is sick, my child has passed away--I don't know how to be strong enough to make it through. My life is so full of suffering." The guru sat there and smiled at the lady and said, "Mine is too! Suffering brings me so close to God."
That's one of my favorite stories, because it's so true. Suffering is so important for us to learn and become stronger. We learn so much about ourselves and other in overcoming our obstacles, and we are all better people for it. I think we can all relate to this in regards to weight loss, too!! :) Have great days!