I just want to send you my support and a :hug:

A relationship that I was in with my ex-boyfriend recently ended and a life lesson that it taught me was to take care of myself. Life is too short to be in a relationship that isn't working.

What can you do to take good care of yourself now?

:hug:

Originally Posted by :
Life is too short to be in a relationship that isn't working.

Ouch. But true.

I'm sorry if I was blunt in my above comment. I was just trying to help and give support. I am finding as I am getting older that I don't want to waste my time with people who don't care about me or who are going to hurt me. I found out in my last relationship that although there were some good times, there were a lot of nasty times too, and I want to live my life to the fullest, not dwell on the negative. I hope that helps explain things. Again, I am sorry if I was blunt. I didn't mean to be at all, I was just trying to be supportive.

:hug:

Not blunt at all. I'm sorry. I meant that you were spot on.

I just ended a relationship with my boyfriend of 3 years about 3 weeks ago after finding out about some infidelity on his part. It was a totally unexpected and a complete shock, so I totally understand how you're feeling. It hurts now, but this too will pass.

I'm not doing okay. Not at all actually. I'm eating everything in sight. I'm not eating at all. I cry in the street, at work, on the subway, while brushing my teeth. I'm exhausted all day, I don't sleep at night. I cry until my face is swollen. I hate him for doing this me, but I don't want to lose him. I just want to fix this. To know why he didn't give me a chance to be with him And let him still experience the world. I just don't understand how I didn't see it coming. I feel like I can never trust anyone again, because I was so sure everything was perfect. I was never, ever as happy and so sure my life was Finally, finally right.

I haven't been in the gym in 7 days...I'm too ashamed to go. My trainer knew I was there just for this one event.

I'm just so, so, so irreparably sad.

It's ok. It's going to be ok. I promise. You will heal from this and move on. If you can't distract yourself, focus on the things you didn't like about him. Be proud of yourself every time you refrain from calling/texting/ asking yourself too many questions.

This doesn't have to be about you. This could really, truly, totally just be about him. Some things you just can't understand. You might not ever get answers to all of it, and eventually you will be ok with that. But right now, it's ok to be mourning him and what he was and what you thought he was. It's ok to have a little meltdown for a while. Just know that after this super rough patch of days that all run together and seem just as hard as the first day, there will be days where it gets better incrementally.

One thing that has helped me get through stuff like this before is that I have to stop feeling sorry for myself at some point. Doing some volunteer work for less fortunate people really, really helps. It will make you feel like your life has meaning, and that there are larger things than you and him and that you are a part of those things.

You have no idea what the future holds. Don't assume it's all crap. Things aren't over yet. Things are going to be ok.

Originally Posted by Bex1984:
And yes, via text. And left his new everything, now I know why he never bought the big screen tv he wanted, wasn't sure about coming to another wedding with me in June, and lots of little things that I totally overlooked are falling in place.

Meanwhile we were totally happy, and he gave no indication anything was wrong. Totally the opposite. Actually, I reeeeealllly thought ht would be proposing in Italy.

I'm so stupid. I overlooked the signs he was about to bolt.

What a complete dick, this means he knew about it beforehand and wasnt on a whim.

Originally Posted by Bex1984:
I'm not doing okay. Not at all actually. I'm eating everything in sight. I'm not eating at all. I cry in the street, at work, on the subway, while brushing my teeth. I'm exhausted all day, I don't sleep at night. I cry until my face is swollen. I hate him for doing this me, but I don't want to lose him. I just want to fix this. To know why he didn't give me a chance to be with him And let him still experience the world. I just don't understand how I didn't see it coming. I feel like I can never trust anyone again, because I was so sure everything was perfect. I was never, ever as happy and so sure my life was Finally, finally right.

I haven't been in the gym in 7 days...I'm too ashamed to go. My trainer knew I was there just for this one event.

I'm just so, so, so irreparably sad.

I understand that you're still in shock and still hurting. But please understand that him leaving has NOTHING to do with you. It has nothing to do with who you are, what you've been to him, how great you are, what a wonderful wife you would make. Nobody is questioning your capability of "fixing" this. This has everything to do with him and his inability to be with anyone! You're taking on responsibility for something you did not do. He didn't leave because of you, he left because of him. Don't try to take on blame or think that you were deficient of something to make him go.

A little part of you knew that this would not work out. Why else would you have waited this long before getting plane tickets to this event? It doesn't sound like all the details of your trip were worked out and such a big trip takes a bit more planning that that. That's just my hunch I could be wrong.

I'm so sorry. I just want to give you a big hug. **HUGS**

:hug:

I send you hugs and kisses. You have to be strong for you. You will be fine. I know its not easy but things will turn out okay.

Originally Posted by Bex1984:
I'm not doing okay. Not at all actually. I'm eating everything in sight. I'm not eating at all. I cry in the street, at work, on the subway, while brushing my teeth. I'm exhausted all day, I don't sleep at night. I cry until my face is swollen. I hate him for doing this me, but I don't want to lose him. I just want to fix this. To know why he didn't give me a chance to be with him And let him still experience the world. I just don't understand how I didn't see it coming. I feel like I can never trust anyone again, because I was so sure everything was perfect. I was never, ever as happy and so sure my life was Finally, finally right.

I haven't been in the gym in 7 days...I'm too ashamed to go. My trainer knew I was there just for this one event.

I'm just so, so, so irreparably sad.

Well, this is how I would expect you to feel. It's how almost anyone would feel and I'm sorry you are going through it. And yes... it will be hard to trust again. That's what sucks about people not being honest, it destroys trust.

The only advice I can give you is that give it time. Time heals. And take it one day at a time.

This situation makes me think that he probably is not that good of a guy, and although you loved him, he probably did not treat you as well as you deserved to be treated.

Been there, done that.

TRUST ME - there is a guy out there who will worship the ground that you walk on and treat you like the wonderful person you are. And although you can't see it now, you will be SO HAPPY that this guy dumped you so you could be freed up to meet that guy!!!

Jen

What a man-child! I'm so sorry that happened to you, I would be very hurt...and then I would probably call up some gf's, take a shot of tequila, and set out to destroy him. Haha! Hopefully having the gf's there would keep me in check though!
Go to Italy anyway! :D