First off: I am sorry that you are having to deal with a verbally toxic relationship with your ex-husband.
Second: It sounds like if he is bringing up the past, then obviously he has issues with the past. It doesn't sound like he has dealt with his pent up feelings regarding your past marriage. This however, is not your problem. Your only responsibility is the welfare and mental health of your son and the welfare and mental health of yourself. If your'e son passes the phone to you and you begin a conversation and the conversation starts going awry, whether it be him yelling at you or making horrible remarks..simply assert yourself and say " I dont like the way you are speaking to me, its not respectful and I am not going to be bullied like this and simply say "Goodbye".
A person who is suffering from hurt and anger and is picking a fight with you, doesnt feel like they owe you anything, not even respect. His sole purpose becomes about working you up and getting your panties in a proverbial twist because he knows that you are emotional, he knows who you were from your past marriage and he knows that if he pushes the right buttons he will get a reaction. If you even feel yourself in that place of starting to get worked up, even slightly, its time to get off the phone. You dont have to be rude, you can simply say "I have things to do, i have to go now, bye". If he decides to keep blathering on and on, then thats his perogitive and not your issue and you can simply hang up. You were respectful and you have drawn a boundary and that is that.
I understand that its not easy..its emotional and its hard..you have invested yourself into this person who is treating you like crap and you have a child together to make matters more difficult.. Its okay to get emotional, but dont let him get the better of you.. If you need to cry or scream or get angry, do it after you get off the phone, dont give him the satisfaction in knowing he got your goat. You know what im saying?
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