[the shiv]

So, this can be weight-related or not... I've been having a bad time recently and thought I might take a moment to clarify just what it is I WANT out of life, rather than just rolling along with what I think I can get. Sometimes we concentrate so much on doing what we have to do, and making sure other people are happy... It really is important (both for weight loss and general good self-esteem) for us to WANT things for ourselves. You know, to focus our minds on what's really important. I'll start, please do join in!

Ok, here goes... *deep breath*

I WANT:

* To find a career that engages me intellectually and creatively
* To develop the self-respect that allows me not to be bullied
* My own space, and quite a lot of it
* A few deep friendships with people who really get me
* Clothes that show my personal style to the world
* To be unashamed about being introverted
* A car
* The opportunity to see lots of different parts of the world
* A relationship where I can completely be myself, and be adored for it
* A degree
* The courage to persevere in the face of adversity
* A contraceptive option that makes me feel better, not worse
* Matching underwear
* The inner confidence to persist in my stance when unreasonably challenged
* Hope for the possibilities of the future
* To be debt-free
* To let go of being codependent and let myself be happy instead

All I've got for now. I'm sure there's more Remember: this is about what YOU want for yourself, not what you want for anyone else. I think it's fair to assume that we're all lovely enough to want the best for others

[Lexxiss]

I love your list! I'm reading a book right now which focuses on writing/journaling. The first exercise is to do exactly what you have done-write a list with your goals. A long list is encouraged. Theory is that writing really helps one to achieve their goals.

As a 55 year old caretaker/caregiver who spent years focusing on everyone but me say go for it. Figure out what you want and work towards your goals.

Best wishes!

[the shiv]

That is very sweet of you to post, thanks! I hoped someone would see where I was coming from and it could be helpful / motivational. I do have a big tendency towards emotional eating binges when the codependent behaviour I'm trying to fix creeps back up on me.

It looks like you're a long way towards a goal of your own, so congratulations

[Mozzy]

I think your goals are fantastic!

I need to give my own goals some serious thought. I'll be back to post :-)

[Lexxiss]

Thank you,too! The book,by the way, is called Write It Down, Make it Happen by H.anne Klauser.

I started my list and after one day I am already finding that the item which I am going to work on first feels more doable-my fear seems to be leaving.

[midwife]

I like the idea of this thread and will be back to post. I cleaned it up a little to keep it on the topic of the OP. If anyone doesn't wish to participate in the thread in the spirit of the OP, please feel free to start a new thread.

[the shiv]

Originally Posted by midwife

I like the idea of this thread and will be back to post. I cleaned it up a little to keep it on the topic of the OP. If anyone doesn't wish to participate in the thread in the spirit of the OP, please feel free to start a new thread.

Ah, thankyou

And thanks v much Lexxiss for the book recommendation, I will definitely check that out

[nelie]

I think I'm lucky in that I'm in my mid/late 30s (I think I officially enter late 30s in May ) and I have achieved a lot of things I wanted to achieve. My primary interests are:

-maintaining and improving my health
-possibly seeking other opportunities within my current career.
-possibly moving closer to my family so I can spend more time with them

[Amygdala]

I have been thinking about what I want out of life lately, too. I found it quite hard. I am in German medical school. I am just about to finish my third year out of six. And I know that after medical school, everything will change. I don't know what speciality I am going to chose, I don't know if I will stay in this city or move somewhere else. But I do know that I will have to start all over again.
I have found many good friends here. They're all fellow students, so we see each other every day. We have coffee breaks together, lunch breaks, we study together at the library, we travel together, party together... But once we will be done with school, everyone is going to leave for different hospitals in different cities.
It makes me sad to think of it. Also, I am afraid that at one point, I will have to decide between having a child or having a career.
I am almost 25 now, and that feels young and old to me at the same time.

So, I guess for me it's:
- being happy with the decisions I take
- a healthy lifestyle
- travel as much as possible