[Katbot24]

Alright, I need to vent...or else I'm going to explode.

We're looking for a new apartment to move into August 1st. I called a guy about an apartment building two weeks ago to the day and he told me they were being reno'd and to call back in two weeks and he'd have them ready for showing. EXACTLY 14 days later I call back and he says "oh, they're all rented out already". I've been calling people everywhere and either they don't want to talk to me until July 1st or the places are too expensive. The fiance's not helping, I found a place that was a mere $50 over our budget per month and he hemmed and haw'd and told me not to book a viewing, grrrr.

We're not gonna have where to live in a month's time and he's being all picky. "We can't smoke? But I want to smoke hookah at our next place" "that's too far" "the damage deposit is too high" "I want a balcony" "I don't want a basement" "what if we have a car?" "I don't want to pay for cable" "we don't need 2 bedrooms" "I don't want to live in this apartment anymore"

I'm working 3 jobs, 60 hours a week plus walking time, AND I still contribute to the housework. I leave the house and don't come back for at least 12 hours at a time. I told him if HE wants to be so damn picky HE can deal with all the websites, realtors and number crunching. I've had enough.

[Sinoia]

You are stretched so thin it is not surprising you feel angry and frustrated, especially having to deal with negativity. As you said, let him do the searching and you specify your needs. Perhaps he just has no clue how difficult it is to find a place to suit all of his requirements and how compromise is always required. You need a break though and you must take it.

[blue dogweed]

You definitely need a break! I had the same problem last time we moved. He was complaining, picky, and a jerk the whole time. He refused to do anything until I completely quit and he realized we really were not going to have a place to live. We ended up moving out on the last possible day but I had a whole lot less stress.

If you stop, will he pick up the slack? For some, the last minute would be stressful. But he needs to be helping instead of making it harder!

Hope you all find a nice place!

[ghost]

I'm bossy, so I'd find a place I wanted and move with or without him, if he's not going to help and he's going to be picky he can find his own place. But that's just me, and I've been single by choice for many years now and a home owner for longer.

[Daki]

Ugh apartment hunting is the WORST. I was calling everyone I could, we were driving around for HOURS looking for "for rent" signs, ugh. The worst. People either refused to call me back, or "ohhh, that nice one is rented but we have thiiiiisss crappy one", or they wanted a $500 deposit plus $50 extra in rent a month because of the cats. Uggggggggh. I'm getting frustrated for you!

[MiZTaCCen]

Well considering it's YOU doing all the hunting, tell him to either step up to the plate and help or STFU and deal with what YOU pick.

(thank god I'm single...)

Apartment hunting is exhausting I went through it last Nov telling myself I was not moving again unfortunately I will be moving again at the end of the year because my arrangements and my dislike of my landlords I don't want to stay there any longer than I have to, but most places don't want you calling them until July especially if you want to move in Aug because they don't know who's moving out until the 1st and that can be frusterating on it's own or when you find a place you really like but the owners want someone in July 1st and not wait until aug. It's kind of a lose lose situation.

I ended up finding my place in mid Nov which was a close call given if I didn't ave a place in mind yet I had only two weeks left to find one. I'd say take a step back and take a break from it at least until close to the end of June...

[astrophe]

Take a break. For your own mental health.

The worst that happens is what? You renew at the place you are in, right?

See if he steps up to the plate as a partner should in times of stress.

It's not fair to not cut you some slack. If you are better at the realtor side of things then he needs to take one of your chores off your hands to free you up for the hunt if he's not good at the hunting. Basically... step up to plate and take one for the team. SOMEWHERE.

It's not fair to do all your things AND add this on top. Why are you taking everything for the team? IS there a team here? Or are you burning candle on both ends all the time?

I hope this is just a vent. Book a viewing on the $50 more flat tho to start. LOOKING costs you nothing.


A.

[Katbot24]

I should say that the fiancé is a wonderful man who HAS stepped up and taken on more household chores, and we both work multiple jobs so it's not like he has a lot of time either. The reason I took it on is because one of my jobs is a desk job that I can do calling from at off times, while his are all manual and service related.

It was just a vent, he's taken over looking for one and frankly he's doing a better job. H already found 2 potential places by calling people on his lunch breaks.

[sontaikle]

Sometimes people need a kick in the rear to get going, and it seems like you've done that for your fiance.

My fiance is the same way I've just learned how to say the right things and he magically gets moving.

[Quiet Ballerina]

Wanted to put in my 2 cents: If an apartment is slightly over budget (especially if it's only $50!) still go and visit! Tell them that you love the place (if you do) but the rent is a little over your budget.

They might be willing to be flexible. After all, rent cost minus $50 is a lot better for them than no rent!