I was 21, 24, 26, and 27.....I had the last 3 in 2 3/4 years...I love how close they are although it was hard with 2 in diapers and potty training one. I am now 32 and with finding my old friends on Facebook I am surprised at how man are 33+ and haven't had any children. I know the age is getting pushed more and more. I know before I had children I had set my goal to start at 25 and be done by 30 but that is because my Mom had me at 30 and she let herself go after that. I think it all depends on the individual and where you are in your life/relationship/career, etc. Good luck!
MindiV, I'm your age and my DH and I have bounced back and forth on this. Due to my back issues, being pregnant could cause permanent back damage and I'd have to be on bed rest the whole time. Way back when we started dating and talking about kids, we wanted to have one biologically and adopt one. Now, we want to wait until we have our own house and adopt a 2-4 year old. We just like the idea of adopting a small child vs. and infant, but that's just us
You just have to talk it over, pray, and decide what's best for you. We love our nieces and nephews and have them over all the time, but it's nice to be by ourselves too. In a few years, we'll be more ready and ready to adopt.
Good luck!
I had twins at 29 and a singleton at 34 - lots of problems both times but all turned out fine in the end! My twins were 27 week preemies that weighed 1 lb, 13 oz and 1 lb 15 oz but this fall they are going off to college! Brings tears to my eyes to think how it all turned out to be so wonderful! We were married for 5 years before kids and I am glad that we had that time together!
I had my first when I was 24, but we tried for years to get her. I mean since we were teenagers we'd been trying... Anyway, I just had my second last year at 26 years old. Both pregnancies and births were complication free, although I did have a c-section with my first because she was breech, but you can't really help that! lol I also set a deadline of being done having kids by thirty, but because it took us so long to have our first I'm thinking I'll probably have to push that back to 33 or 34 because we want to have at least 4, possibly 5. I just don't want to be a senior citizen when my youngest graduates high school or something (no offense to older moms, that's just my personal wants).
Last edited by Latchkey Princess; 07-12-2010 at 01:15 AM.
MindiV, I'm your age and my DH and I have bounced back and forth on this. Due to my back issues, being pregnant could cause permanent back damage and I'd have to be on bed rest the whole time. Way back when we started dating and talking about kids, we wanted to have one biologically and adopt one. Now, we want to wait until we have our own house and adopt a 2-4 year old. We just like the idea of adopting a small child vs. and infant, but that's just us
You just have to talk it over, pray, and decide what's best for you. We love our nieces and nephews and have them over all the time, but it's nice to be by ourselves too. In a few years, we'll be more ready and ready to adopt.
Good luck!
This sounds a LOT like us in general. I think if we could have a 3 year old right now, we'd do it. It's just HARD picturing us with an infant. And I also have been told and told and told that there's never a "good time" to have a child. My husband worries a lot about money, and knows children are expensive. I tell him YES, things are more expensive, but he's also basing his knowledge of kids off his friends, who are thousands upon thousands in debt with cars and houses and are constantly, constantly buying things and toys and clothes for their kids that they don't even NEED.
Here in a year or so we're hoping it works out where our debts are paid, and we'll have some breathing room. Maybe then...
Adoption is always an option, my uncle adopted 3 kids at once (siblings). It was obviously a drastic change for them but they liked it. I really have no desire to give birth so if we did have kids, adoption would be how we'd do it.
And you really have no way of knowing how long you'll be there for your kids. My best friend's mom died when we were in high school, her mom was in her early 30s. My stepsister died in her mid 30s with a 2 year old.
On the other hand, my grandma who had twins in her early 40s is in her 80s now.
I did alot of "thinking too much" before we had kids and decided that if we didn't just do it, we'd never do it.
I was 32 and 34.
I did take the advice of a friend who had already "been there/done that" that said you should be married 4 yrs before you have kids.
Seemed like reasonable advice, so that's what we did.
just shy of 30 when I had my first and only . . . his father was turning 32.
I'm glad I waited as long as I did to be honest - he was a surprise to say the least, I wasn't sure if i would ever have kids - but he's a surprise I would gladly do again.
I was 29 when I had my first and 35 when our DD was born. I was very much like you when considering whether to have a child certainly not 100% sure. However my DH is 4 years older and he did not want to be an older dad (as he put it).
My second pregnancy was easier than the first so age wasn't really an important factor. We also had no family support whatsoever and I've always worked full-time so its certainly been hard at times.
The other thing to consider, if you leave it much later, is how much longer you'll need to keep on working to support your future children. I have friends around my age who had their children earlier than me and they're already thinking about scaling back their work commitments and spending more time on hobbies and travelling etc whereas with a now 11 year old and 17 year old its going to be many more years before I can even think about this (especially as my 11 year old is very bright and a University education is already very much on the cards).
I really do think there's no 'right age' to have children you just have to manage the best you can when they come along.
My first was totally not planned lol my husband was in the Marines and came home. I was 22, a senior in college I wasn't ready but we just rolled with it & made adjustments. My middle was planned & I had him at 25. My last one wasn't planned either (stupid Nuvaring) but I had her at 27. I'm permanently done
Life happens & it's never guaranteed. If I would think about the "what if's" too much then I'd never enjoy anything....so I don't let those thoughts linger. Pregnancy wasn't scary at all for me & I was morbidly obese with my last two.
i never want to get pregnant, so i hope it's okay to post here. i think it's kind of gross, and i know i'd look like a whale. i really want to be a mom though, i'm excited to bring into the family a beautiful baby boy that i'm adopting.
i never want to get pregnant, so i hope it's okay to post here. i think it's kind of gross, and i know i'd look like a whale. i really want to be a mom though, i'm excited to bring into the family a beautiful baby boy that i'm adopting.
I think it's ok to post - it's a legitimate opinion. I also have moments when I think being pregnant would be horrible. The whole physical aspect of being pregnant and actually giving birth is terrifying to me. I can totally relate...
